Ken Livingstone - "Boris Is My Baby" Shock!

Written by Rickie E. Room

Thursday, 3 April 2008

image for Ken Livingstone - "Boris Is My Baby" Shock!
Boris at 6 Months -If only we had more saddles on Dad's bike!

The London Today TV programme today revealed that London's Mayor, Ken Livingstone, has fathered five children by three different women.

As well as two young children by his partner Emma Peel of the Avengers, he has two adult children by one woman and a boy with another.

The revelation comes a month before he faces the capital's voters in seeking re-election.

"I don't think anybody in this city is shocked about what consenting adults do," he said.

"I guess I'm just very fertile. When I was younger I liked to put it about a bit, no one cares now do they?"

The real shock to Ken came when London Today TV reporter, Katy Kay revealed the results of a recent DNA profile.

All candidates for the position for London Mayor have to register on the national DNA database, ironically legislation Mr Livingstone himself introduced.

The results revealed that Boris Johnson is in fact Ken Livingstone's love-child.

Initially flustered by the revelation, Ken said later; "It's not a secret; it's simply a private matter, something for my family. We had to have Boris adopted, we weren't poor, but Londoners will understand. Okay I had five kids, but three had to go, you all know my views on 4x4s and people carriers, I simple couldn't compromise my position. There was just no room on the tandem bicycle I had at the time, even with the trailer. Look, with the missus there were seven of us but I couldn't buy a large car now could I? I care about the environment now and I did then. I am, if nothing else, a man of principle."

Quite how the revelations will affect the mayoral elections is hard to guess. However, David Cameron is still backing Boris.

"Boris Johnson would do a brilliant job as London mayor and is exactly the kind of leader the capital needs", Tory leader David Cameron says.

"He is twice as charismatic, twice as energetic and twice as randy as his father and rival the current mayor Ken Livingstone," said Mr Cameron.

"I can only assume that he gets these qualities from his mother" he added.

Boris Johnson himself was unavailable for comment but later released a statement saying "I have known for some time that Ken Livingstone is my biological father, there have always been clues; my interest in politics for example, my love for amphibians and my desire to bed every hot young filly I come into contact with. Now I want to get on with my campaign and will make no further comment on the subject"

Whether this matter will now be allowed to rest, depends on Londoners. Only time will tell.

However, speculation is rife as to who the remaining two children Ken released for adoption, grew up to be.

Ladbrokes are already accepting bets on Ken Hazeldean, the renowned Mr Livingstone look-a-like artiste and also on former Big Brother contestant, Jade Goody.

Rickie E. Room Reporting For The Spoof!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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