London Mayor Caught With Pants Down

Funny story written by Conor McMuffin

Thursday, 3 April 2008

image for London Mayor Caught With Pants Down
I'd never vote for him now.

Sources close to London mayor Ken Livingstone have admitted today that his position is fast becoming untenable after he was photographed with his underpants around his ankles in a public convenience near City Hall.

A sting involving weeks of surveillance was started after a member of the public spotted the mayor 'popping in' to the loo last month and reported the sighting to the London Evening Travesty newspaper.

The convenience, which is near to the GLA building in Bermondsey, is thought to be frequented by members of the general public.

Using technology similar to that seen in nature show, 'I'm Wild, Me!' a camera was secreted within the cubicle favoured by Mr. Livingstone.

The mayor, who refused to say whether he was doing a number one or number two at the time, didn't deny that he had in fact dropped his Y-fronts on each occasion.

Claims by his office that he was simply 'caught short' after a long meeting were rubbished by Travesty editor Paul Underhand: "Livingstone was going into exactly the same toilet this week that he was seen coming out of only a month ago. It does not take a rocket scientist to work out what he was up to."

The mayor condemned the sting as a 'gross invasion of privacy' but has no plans to sue. However, he says he refuses to see why his personal toileting habits should have a bearing on the outcome of the election.

"I think it is typical of the Travesty that they should stoop to such low tactics," he said, adjusting his trousers. But Paul Underhand insisted, "London voters want to know what their mayor looks like in his most private moments; it is a matter of public interest. If he is so easily embarrassed maybe he shouldn't be running for a third term."

Livingstone became the most hated man in Britain after he single-handedly invented political correctness during the 1980s. Recently, his controversial Congestion Charge and the introduction of bendy buses to London's streets have led to him being labelled as 'a right Charlie' in some quarters. It is also believed that Livingstone has 'the odd drink', which he has refused to deny on several occasions.

Conservative mayoral candidate Boris Johnson, who has promised to make boxer shorts free to all men over the age of thirty, was unavailable for comment.

Conor McMuffin reporting

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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