College dorms will have helicopter pads to aid parents and Pakistani nationals
It was reported by the Office of Materialistic Studies (OMS), that many college campuses would offer helicopter pads for their student body and parents to use. Helicopter pads would be installed on top of student dormitories to add to the school'...
Read full storyNew Bush Film
The film world's favourite nerd Jeff Goldblum is set to play George W Bush in a forthcoming film of the President's life.
Read full storyPlastic Surgery Freeway Built in Beverly Hills!
Plastic Surgery Gets Its Own Freeway. This recent development will speed things up in Beverly Hills, the world Mecca of plastic surgery.
Read full storyGovernment Sexual Health Campaign Backfires- Creates Demand For STD's
The Government has today been forced to admit that its highly advertised sexual health campaign has backfired massively, with thousands of teenagers admitting that they are turned on by the sexy adverts featuring "heavy petting" and the rem...
Read full storyLocal Man Prefers "Crazy" Heather Mills
Detroit, MI - Bob Smith, an unemployed Michigan man says he prefers the newer and crazier Heather Mills over the calmer, and saner one from years past.
Read full storyNew Eastenders Family
BBC 1's misery fest, Eastenders, is to get a new family in a bid to boost flagging ratings.
Read full storyThe Birds, the Bees, and the Rest of the Bull
Now folks, I want you to bear with me for a little while. Because I am going talk to you about a subject I know very little about -- SEX. Now, I might just be the only male to admit my ignorance on this subject.
Read full storyCamouflage wearing students surprise Mayberry Middle School teachers
Teachers at Mayberry Middle School were alarmed today and caught off guard as students showed up for class dressed in camouflage fatigues and shirts. Most of the teachers working in the school are not from the South, but are from the Northeast and Mi...
Read full storyHillary and Obama - Neck and Neck with Campaign Funds
Now only because I dabble into the doings of our political doers, has this crossed my desk. Lately, I have been following the democrats and republicans equally on TV. Well, at least, I have tried. The only time I can do that, follow them equally, on uneven playing field is when they are at a debate. Lucky you don't have to have a financial or moral support to be in this FREE for all or freedom...
Read full storyGOP: Grossly ODD POLITICIANS?
Now, all I know is what I read in the newspapers. Normally, I brag about reading all I know from the Internet, however, lately, I have been feeling robbed by only dealing with the online world. So, I ordered up a subscription of a NEWSPAPER, how old school of me, huh…? So here it is, in the flesh: In a rare public appearance. The newspaper.
Read full storyHollywood Writer's Strike - Will Write for Food
All I know is what I read on the Internet or the Variety news rag! Well, it looks like the Hollywood writers strike may become a reality. However, you will have to keep your ear to the ground, because you won't see it in writing. Seems Hollywood writers are upset by the recent revenues created by DVD's and Internet distribution (New Media).
Read full storyWater, Water, Water ... makes the world go around!
Now, if I asked you what the most precious item this world holds near to its heart, what would you guess that was. Gold, Gas, Oil … give up? How about water? You know the stuff we give away, give it away to our lawns to our animals, our cars, and we give it for free. Now we pay a pretty premium for this liquid gold. I have an old friend that sells water to folks that will pay $10 a bottle fo...
Read full storyNew Star Trek Film will have better-known "Unknowns"
Hollywood, CA - The new Star Trek Movie, is rolling into high gear, with a better-known cast of unknowns.
Read full storyHillary Will Show Her Avre Dupois if Elected
New York, New York (IP) - Hillary Clinton will show the world her Avre Dupois if elected. No candidate has ever done this before and it has raised a lot of controversy.
Read full storyBush looks to Bush for third term
George W Bush may be constitutionally barred from seeking a third term of office but senior aides think that they may have found a loophole - Georgina Bush!...
Read full storyNorthern Rock: Ebay Latest
Northern Rock's eBay sale has received a massive response from the auction site's followers. Proving beyond doubt that there is always someone out there that wants the useless stuff that you need to sell, bidding has now reached a massive £5...
Read full storyDo you have Oil? Population Control Program.
Keeping an eye on the unmanaged increase in population of the world, the United Nations has drawn an immediate plan to decrease the world population to the acceptable level in a more systematic and humanistic way.
Read full storyNewsreader admits making up the news
Hugely popular Russian televison newscaster, Yelena Mankchekova, has admitted that she has been making up news stories and using them in her nightly broadcasts which attract a viewership of almost 60 million of the c...
Read full storyBhuto Refuses to Work for Bush Family
As the Bush family planned the thrown elections of 2000 and 2004, Musharraf was placed in power in 1999 by Cheney, et al.
Read full storyMattel Toys CEO's head falls off in safety accident
Consumer safety groups are demanding the recall of the board of directors of Mattel Toys after it was revealed that the company's CEO's head fell off suddenly, revealing a sharp spike where his neck s...
Read full storyGOP Republicans ban Ron Paul as candidate
After simmering for several tense weeks a seething conflict in the midst of the GOP has been resolved in acrimonious changes inside the organization long revered as the GOP. Late last night Republican National Committee (RNC) leaders emerged after te...
Read full storyDog the Bounty Hunter, Goes On The "I Cry like A Little Bitch," Tour
Dog, the Bounty Hunter, Chapman is hammering the news, and pseudo news circuit trying to restore his supposedly publicly challenged reputation. Only thing is,, Dog being a reality show personality has never had to act because the character he plays i...
Read full storyGerry McCann may feature in 'I'm a Celebrity, Get me Out of Here!'
"Oh no, not another McCann Publicity stunt!" you say. In his bid to keep the publicity alive, Gerry Mcann may feature in ITV's 'I'm a Celebrity Get me Out of Here!', now in its 7th series.
Read full storySatirist beginning to question reality
Satirist King David, who was told as a child that if he crossed his eyes too many times they would become stuck, has been telling lies now for so long that he is beginning to question his own reality.
Read full storyBandar paycheck ensures Blair will convert to Islam
London - (Right-Old-Mess): Ex-UK Prime Monster Tony Blair will convert to Islam within weeks according to reliable Northern Crock Bank account sources who have seen his whopping great big paychecks signed by Prince Bandar.
Read full storyBigamy claims as Heather Mills dumped by divorce lawyers
Red Lion Square, London - (Ass Mess): A leading London firm of divorce lawyers has dumped Heather Mills after a meeting with the Met's Fraud Squad brought claims of bigamy and blackmail about the bigmouth peroxide vegan scrot-grinder.
Read full storyCamden pub shock-horror as Winehouse husband in the doghouse
Camden Town, London - (Conspiracy Mess): Camden Lock's notorious Whorely Arms boozer is in a state of shock after Amy Winehouse's husband Blake Fidel-Civil and three pals were busted last night on trial-fixing charges.
Read full storyChic-Fil-A Eat More Chikin' cow attacked by chickens
A Chick-Fil-A Eat More Chikin' cow was attacked today by a truckload of chickens while waving at motorists in Durham. The attack happened on the 1500th block of Roxboro Road early this morning as an 18-wheeler working for the Tyson Food Company s...
Read full storyBoyfriend Won't Shut Up About Brooklyn
When Diane Barber first went out with Kevin Surette, she enjoyed hearing him tell her all about the trendy Williamsburg section of Brooklyn he calls home. Now five months into their relationship, the pretty Manhattanite wishes Kevin would stop talkin...
Read full storyGays Pack Fudge For Charity
Hollywood gays and lesbians got together to pack fudge for charity and the homeless. This is an annual event in California and has begun spreading across the country. Famous singer Little Richard said "Owwww! I been packin' the fudge for years a...
Read full storyIs it really worth the arguments?
This week we suffered once again the new Queen's Speech, as usual full of empty promises we know our government will never follow.
Read full storyGlasgow wins Commonwealth Games vote
Glasgow may have won the right to host the 2014 Commonwealth Games but questions are already being asked about how the country, celebrated as the birthplace of economist Adam Smith, TV inventor John Logie Baird and heart disease, is going to fund the...
Read full storySouth Florida couple buys hologram projector to keep up with Joneses
A south Florida couple with working class roots said that they bought a hologram projector to keep up with their neighbors and give the appearance that they were actually doing better than they were.
Read full storyAldi To Sell Tanks
In an increasing effort to expand their foothold in cut price sales on anything they can get their hands on, Aldi are set to start selling Tanks from next week in the 'Thursday Specials' section.
Read full storyBlair under pressure to resign
UK Prime Minister, Tony Blair, has today hit out at those calling for his brother, Sir Ian Blair, to resign as head of the Metropolitan Police.
Read full storyLive from BB-sea - INDIA vs PAKISTAN
Good morning everyone, and welcome to the Kashmir. I'm Bitchy Renault and I'll be with you right through the day.
Read full storyPope Says De Menezes Shooting Was Act of God
The pope yesterday said he believed Sir Ian Blair must keep his job as Britain's most senior police officer, after an official Vatican report into the killing of Jean Charles de Menezes beatified the met chief. The Independent Papal Complaints Co...
Read full storyTheft or Miracles: You Be The Judge
After several years of helping infertile couples give rise to a new generation of citizens, a Kenyan preacher lost a battle fighting extradition back to Kenya from London, citing religious persecution. Oh damn, what a shame.
Read full storyStatisticians Reveal Definitive Proof: Only 2% Probability of LSU vs. Ohio State
Center for Advanced Trivial Knowledge & Sports Statistics - SEC fan Jimmy-John "Tiger" Balm just can't wait for his beloved purple-&-gold LSU Bayou Bengal Tigers college football team to square off against the top-rated scarlet-&-gray O...
Read full storyFormer NY Police Commissioner Kerik Indicted on Charges of Cursing Yankees
NEW YORK - An indictment has been returned by a federal grand jury against former New York City Police Commissioner Bernard Kerik.
Read full storyGiuliani: "I Have Never Offered Bribes...I'll Give You Ten Bucks To Print That."
MANCHESTER, N.H. - Rudolph Giuliani, former New York City Mayor and the current Republican presidential candidate, is facing some serious allegations after a close friend and business associate was indicted by a federal grand jury.
Read full storyWriter's Strike Enters 5th Year
Hollywood (November 2012) - The Hollywood writer's strike, which began 5 years ago, has now entered its 1800th day and shows no sign of ending anytime soon.
Read full storyToddler Most Wanted Fugitive After Being Named As Head Of 'Date Rape' Toy Plot
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Dylan Jacobs, a.k.a. the 'Playskool Predator', became the F.B.I.'s most wanted fugitive Friday, after being identified as the mastermind in a plot to dominate the entire globe.
Read full storyNew Toy Becomes Black Market Drug In Jr High school and High school
A new toy, manufactured in China, called Bindeez in Australia and Aqua Dots in North America has been recalled for chemically turning into, gamma-hydroxyl butyrate (GHB), a popular date rape drug when ingested by children.
Read full storyPlant Injured Zeppelin Show on Hold
LONDON BM - The much anticipated reunion of superstar rock band Led Zeppelin was postponed recently due to an injury to Robert Plant's penis. Details of the prickly 59 year-old front man's injuries remain unclear, but rumours continue to abou...
Read full storyTreasury Dept Declares "Starve the Beast" Policy a Success
U.S. Treasury Secretary Henry M. Paulson, Jr., (the younger brother of famed comedian Pat Paulson) announced to the press on Tuesday, that the Bush administration's "Starve the Beast" policy has finally come to successful fruition.
Read full storyGeorge Bush Says It's the Patriotic Duty of American Children to Learn Hebrew
WASHINGTON (FMLiveWire) - President George Bush told a well-attended White House news conference on Friday that "it is the patriotic duty of every American Child to learn Hebrew."...
Read full storyPat Robertson backs Giuliani; denies Christian Right is fracturing, as he calls on all 700 Club members to convert to Judaism
Washington, D.C. - Surprising fundamental Christians in the United States, Pat Robertson announced today his support of Republican Presidential candidate Rudy Giuliani, whose views on abortion and lifestyle has been all but what Robertson has been pr...
Read full story