The Birds, the Bees, and the Rest of the Bull

Funny story written by WillRogersUSA

Friday, 9 November 2007


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Now folks, I want you to bear with me for a little while. Because I am going talk to you about a subject I know very little about -- SEX. Now, I might just be the only male to admit my ignorance on this subject.

Seems this subject has found its way into our kids' lunch boxes. When I was a kid, 13-16 years old, all we cared about was 1st, 2nd and 3rd base. Now, all kids want to know is if you "scored".

The days of the innocent kiss may be gone or at least lowered to 5-6 year olds. As a kid, my parents fought to keep a Sears catalog out of our hands. Now kids get emails with pictures and chat with folks who are 2 to 3 times older than them.

Now, I am not sure you all are with me on this, but our kids are born grown up. Remember when a song title was "More Than A Feeling"? Now kids are being told to go for a whole lot more than a feeling. Oh, just so you don't think I am some 70-year-old man that is trying to parallel 1950s to 2007, I am 43... so that makes the 70s when I grew up… 'nuff said.

Reports say that we are living longer, and by the same token, we know more at an earlier age. If you think your kids know less than you did when you were a kid, than pull your kids aside and ask them if they know about the birds and bees and see if they don't laugh at you, merely because you said "birds and bees". They know more about the parts of the body than we know.

Now, with all this being said, why would we be shocked that schools are trying to introduce Sex Ed and services that help kids make the right choices when we are not around. As parents, we try to let our kids know we will be there for them whenever they need us. However, I can guarantee you that we won't be there when the FIRST time happens, or the second for that matter. I would rather be the parent helping my kid choose preventive birth control than be the parent that is helping them pick out what crib and clothes for the unplanned child.

I don't mean to rock the crib here but back a few years ago, I lived in California with my girlfriend-- who worked with an agency that consoled young girls that had unplanned children, the youngest 12. I won't go into that, but I will say, if this young lady had choices and felt comfortable with her choices, things might have been different. Remember what you knew about sex at that age.

I don't know about you, but I learned what I know about sex off the streets. Now, that does not sound right, but I think you know what I mean. People fear things they don't know. Talk to your kids and talk again. And again, until you are blue in the face. Oh, and listen as well, that might help. Communication seems to be scarce in our world. If you don't believe in what is happening with our kids these days, then TALK to them, not at them. The shoot first and ask questions later method does not work anymore. Talk first and be there for questions later is my campaign. It is when we don't talk first that gets us into trouble. There is a political joke there, but I will leave it alone.

Now, if you are sitting and thinking, "Oh Will, sure he's pushing his opinions on us today", then go to the top of this story and read where I said I don't know much about this subject. Mine are just thoughts and maybe a different angle to look at. I just would like to think I am part of the solution and not the problem. You know choice A B C... but not "D none of the above".

By the way, some folks believe that abstinence-- I think that is the word-- abstinence is the best and only way to help our kids. Now, that would go over as well as asking our kids to stop texting on their cell phones at the dinner table. It just ain't going to happen.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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