In Defense of the Child Catcher

In the 1968 fantasy "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang," Dick Van Dyke is Carraticus Potts, a singing inventor who builds a magical car, which aside from making whimsical engine noises, can zip across water and sprout wings and fly. For reasons pertaining to the plot, Dick and company fly in the magic car to the land of Vulgaria, where men wear lederhosen and they're fine with that.

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Joined at the hip - Osama and Dick Cheney related. Veep's wife discovers genealogical connection!

Funny story: Joined at the hip - Osama and Dick Cheney related. Veep's wife discovers genealogical connection!

In another stunning announcement, Lynn Cheney states that Osama bin Laden is a ninth cousin to hubby Dick.

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AGONY PAGE with agony uncle, uncle keith

Funny story: AGONY PAGE with agony uncle, uncle keith

Dear Uncle Keith, I recently split with my girlfriend after I found her sleeping with Ken Dodd. To my shock, I thought it was my mate, it t...

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Small Fire In London Attracts Massive Media Coverage

Funny story: Small Fire In London Attracts Massive Media Coverage

A small fire blazing in the East End of London has attracted an unprecedented amount of press attention and publicity recently.

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Paris Hilton Protests Drunken Elephants

Funny story: Paris Hilton Protests Drunken Elephants

Heiress Paris, missing for months, has reappeared back in the news, safe and sound, and protesting drunken elephants in India.

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Musharraf: I'm In Love with Benazir Bhutto

Funny story: Musharraf: I'm In Love with Benazir Bhutto

PAKASTAN- President General Pervez Musharraf vowed on Tuesday to "kick Benazir Bhutto out of Pakistan".

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TheSpoof.com withdraws its correspondents from Pakistan - Musharraf demands apology for being called a "democrat"

Funny story: TheSpoof.com withdraws its correspondents from Pakistan - Musharraf demands apology for being called a "democrat"

Visibly enraged, Pakistan's pretender to the throne has demanded an apology from Spoof for 'abusive language'.

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Breaking News! Vodka-snorter pukin' Prince Harry off to Iraq

Funny story: Breaking News! Vodka-snorter pukin' Prince Harry off to Iraq

He's been shagged, he's been fagged, he's been tagged, snagged and nagged but he's never been hagged. Now, depressed at not being able to jo...

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Care Bears may lose one of their own to global warming; Sun Bear on red list of endangered species; rumors of reactionary militancy abound

Funny story: Care Bears may lose one of their own to global warming; Sun Bear on red list of endangered species; rumors of reactionary militancy abound

Kingdom of Caring, Care-a-lot - Sad news has finally dawned on the Kingdom of Caring of the Care Bears today as news from the World Conservation Union (IUCN) came that one of their own, Sun Bear, is on the institutions red list of endangered species...

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American Real Estate Crash - Foreclosures hit 63%

The epidemic of property foreclosures is revealed as more and more signs, typically from the Ron Paul rEVOLution agency, sprout across America.

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McDonald's targeted in obesity lawsuit

Funny story: McDonald's targeted in obesity lawsuit

The US fast food industry and health campaigners are watching closely a lawsuit filed on behalf of several obese teenagers who claim the fast-food company McDonald's is responsible for making them fat.

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Celine Dion: Bulimia makes me sick

Funny story: Celine Dion: Bulimia makes me sick

Scrawny warbler, Celine Dion, has added her voice to an ad campaign to draw attention to eating disorders. The Titanic singer -as in the song, not as in size - is an avid believer in healthy eating and body health.

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'Alaska corruption rates low by national standards' furor started by conservative paper editor

Funny story: 'Alaska corruption rates low by national standards' furor started by conservative paper editor

Alaska - (Sanctimonious Denial Mess): Retired publisher of the Ketchicken Daily News Lew M Williams Jr has started a furious row over remarks that show he may have been hired by sources close to the infamous Alaskan Corrupt Bastards Club to...

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World shortage of plasticine causes Aardman Animations to close!

Funny story: World shortage of plasticine causes Aardman Animations to close!

It appears that 'Creature Discomforts' will be the last production of its kind to be shown on the small screen. After the 2005 fire in Bristol where Aardman Animations are based, an even more serious threat to their survival...

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Planet Venus to be Blocked Out by Air Force

Funny story: Planet Venus to be Blocked Out by Air Force

Pasadena, California (IP) - The Office of NASA's Air Force liason at the Jet Propulsion Lab in Pasadena has announced that the Air Force will be blocking out the view of the planet Venus. Air Force Colonel Dr. Jason Bluyunder told reporters at a...

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Boy George Bush 'chained male escort to wall'

Funny story: Boy George Bush 'chained male escort to wall'

Washington AC/DC - (Ass Mess): The House Ethics Committee probing ex-Republican Representative Mark Foley's involvement with teenage Congressional page boys has been hearing testimony that Boy George Bush chained a rent boy to a radiator at his h...

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Ron Paul Campaign Promise #1 Threatens GOP Sex Balance

Funny story: Ron Paul Campaign Promise #1 Threatens GOP Sex Balance

The campaign for President Ron Paul is engaged in has been notable for the marked and distinct unity by which his candidacy has been opposed. The opposition has been uniform throughout the GOP nationally as well as in the media ordinarily used by th...

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Curse of King Tut unleashed as Pretender tries on Pharaoh's gold crown

Funny story: Curse of King Tut unleashed as Pretender tries on Pharaoh's gold crown

Greenwhich - (Archaeological Mess): King Tutankhamun's curse has been unleashed on the Pretender to the Puppet Throne as he and Camilla were seen to violate sacred exhibits displaying the ancient pharaoh's burial tat.

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"Our Pitch is Ruining us" says Liverpool

Funny story: "Our Pitch is Ruining us" says Liverpool

Liverpool players were today sensationally accused of derailing their teams improbable title bid by damaging the pitch at Anfield.

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Cribbage Criminals plead guilty, face sentencing

Funny story: Cribbage Criminals plead guilty, face sentencing

GARDINER, Maine -- The World War II veterans charged with illegal gaming at their local American Legion Post have plead guilty to a lesser charge of "prohibitted pegging" and now face sentencing before city judges.

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God charged with rape

NORFOLK, Va. -- Federal authorities today charged God with the rape of Mary, the mother of Jesus.

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Pope Refinances the Vatican

Funny story: Pope Refinances the Vatican

Vatican City, Italy (IP) - The Pope has had to refinance Vatican City and was fortunate to be able to do so during a period of falling interest rates.

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Black Elves call for first Black Santa Claus

Funny story: Black Elves call for first Black Santa Claus

NORTH POLE -- In what appears to be an historic upheaval of the usually business-like operations of preparation for the upcoming Christmas season, an angry mob of black elves are calling for the resignation of Kris Kringle and demanding he be replace...

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Man Vs Wild Finds Amelia Earhart on Island

Funny story: Man Vs Wild Finds Amelia Earhart on Island

Howland Island (IP) - Man Vs Wild star Bear Grylls was filming a Man Vs Wild episode on a remote island near Howland Island and stumbled into Amelia Earhart who had survived a rough landing on the island decades ago.

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British Airways Set To Bounce Back After Ryanair Win Favourite Airline Title

Funny story: British Airways Set To Bounce Back After Ryanair Win Favourite Airline Title

British Airways who in the past have been one of the World's Favourite Airlines has found a way to win back public support after Ryanair won the 2007 World's Favourite Airline Title earlier this week.

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Recalled Toxic Aqua Dots to be Recycled as M&Ms

Funny story: Recalled Toxic Aqua Dots to be Recycled as M&Ms

Candy giant Mars, Incorporated announced today that it would purchase large quantities of recently recalled Aqua Dot toys originating from China.

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Ron Paul and Hillary Clinton Announce Each Other as Running Mates

Funny story: Ron Paul and Hillary Clinton Announce Each Other as Running Mates

WASHINGTON (FMLiveWire) - Confusion in the race for the 2008 US presidential election arose on Wednesday when front-running Democrat Hillary Clinton announced that Ron Paul would be her running mate.

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Fat Birds More Brainy than Skinny Ones

Funny story: Fat Birds More Brainy than Skinny Ones

A study published today by the Institute for Pointless Research appears to suggest that the IQ of females and their offspring are affected positively in direct proportion to increases in their body mass index, i.e the fatter they are the smarter they...

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Secret Government plans to build dome round East Anglia to keep floods, foot & mouth and swampies in

Funny story: Secret Government plans to build dome round East Anglia to keep floods, foot & mouth and swampies in

A leaked email from the Home Office to a firm of contractors has revealed that the government is planning to build a giant dome to encapsulate the whole of East Anglia on the ground that it is the most disaster-prone part of the country.

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Dizzy David Cameron wants bigger wardrobe to store his new policies

Funny story: Dizzy David Cameron wants bigger wardrobe to store his new policies

Tory leader David Cameron, who previously didn't have any policies, has recently accumulated so many that he needs additional wardrobe space to store them all, a confidante said.

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Fluffers Join Screenwriter/Stagehand Strike

Funny story: Fluffers Join Screenwriter/Stagehand Strike

US and A - Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, the San Fernando Valley fluffers' union have pledged to strike along with the Hollywood screenwriters and the Broadway stagehands. The potential effect of this dire act would be to...

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FCC Levies $10,000 Fine Against Nicollette Sheridan for Getting Pregnant by Michael Bolton

Funny story: FCC Levies $10,000 Fine Against Nicollette Sheridan for Getting Pregnant by Michael Bolton

District of Co(womb)ia - The Federal Communications Commission (FCC) announced this week that they have fined actress Nicollette Sheridan $10,000 for "gross indecency" as a result of her getting pregnant by bush-league singer Michael Bolton...

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Blows-to-the-Groin Actually Good for Health, Study Finds

Funny story: Blows-to-the-Groin Actually Good for Health, Study Finds

Hardup, Utah - Despite pain signals sent to the brain and the foul language that often results, groin injuries are actually quite good for one's health according to a recent study conducted by Northern Utah Technical School (NUTS).

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"Lost" writers were exempted from WGA call to turn over scripts, preventing scabbing -- they badly need the extra time to tie-up loose ends

Funny story: "Lost" writers were exempted from WGA call to turn over scripts, preventing scabbing -- they badly need the extra time to tie-up loose ends

Burbank, California - The WGA stepped up the strike this week by ordering all its members to turn over their scripts by last Friday. The measure was taken to ensure writers compliance with the WGA strike by reducing the temptation of any writer to cr...

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Buxom Wenches Are Brainier Says Study

Funny story: Buxom Wenches Are Brainier Says Study

Birds with bouncing breasts, bounteous buttocks and thunderous thighs have bigger brains than bony bints, claims an academic at Bognor University.

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