NEW YORK - An indictment has been returned by a federal grand jury against former New York City Police Commissioner Bernard Kerik.
Kerik is to be brought before the grand jury on charges that he brought the dreaded 'Curse of Bernie Kerik' against the beloved New York Yankees in November of 2007.
Kerik is alleged to have uttered the now infamous curse after Yankees players refused to be bribed into allowing him to pitch a perfect game in the annual Yankees vs. N.Y.C. Police charity softball game. Kerik responded by announcing publicly that, "the Yankees shall not win the World Series again for as long as I live."
The Yankees won their last title in 2000, when Kerik became commissioner and the curse took hold.
"Now the tax evasion, bribery, and mob ties we could tolerate," said prosecutor Jim Barnes, "but when he f*cked with our Yankees, then we had to bring him down."
There is also a rumor that Kerik may have cursed the Mets, but we all know that they just suck.