WASHINGTON, D.C. - Dylan Jacobs, a.k.a. the 'Playskool Predator', became the F.B.I.'s most wanted fugitive Friday, after being identified as the mastermind in a plot to dominate the entire globe.
The F.B.I. received a tip late Thursday that Jacobs may have been involved in the introduction of gama-hydroxy butyrate, commonly referred to as the 'date rape' drug, to a shipment of Aqua Dots toys.
Agents then searched the Jacobs residence in Newark, New Jersey, where they found incriminating evidence, including an Easy Bake Oven, allegedly used to prepare the ingredients of the drug.
Jacobs, who reportedly fled on his Big Wheel before investigators could apprehend him, also left behind evidence implicating accomplices Robosapien and a Dora the Explorer doll.
Robosapien was promptly taken in for questioning. he eventually named Jacobs as the head of the plot, after being promised that his spouse, Roboraptor, and child, Roboreptile, would be placed in protective custody.
Slowly, the sordid details of the diabolical plot began to emerge, as Robosapien revealed Jacobs' plan of creating a 'master race' from his own genetic seed.
Jacob's illegitimate offspring would eventually mature into a master race.
