Pope Says De Menezes Shooting Was Act of God

Funny story written by politicalpop

Friday, 9 November 2007

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Pope: sacrifices have to be made

The pope yesterday said he believed Sir Ian Blair must keep his job as Britain's most senior police officer, after an official Vatican report into the killing of Jean Charles de Menezes beatified the met chief. The Independent Papal Complaints Commission ruled that it was a profound belief in original sin that led to yet another sinner being saved.

The IPCC chairman, Cardinal Aloysius Santa Maria Three Hail Marys, said God's will was responsible for "much of the avoidable difficulty" suffered by mere mortals after the Stockwell shooting. But the report stressed that carrying out God's will was of "utmost importance".

On July 22 2005, Sir Ian wrote to the pope saying he feared a papal investigation could jeopardise lives. His plea was rejected as Vatican law requires the IPCC to investigate any act of God.

The report concluded that on the day of the shooting a powerful and malevolent force had tried to mislead the police. Yesterday the pope announced that certain individuals would receive "words of advice".

If you have witnessed a miracle, such as the decision not to prosecute anybody in the De Menezes shooting, email us now.

The Guardian gets holier than thou.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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