Pat Robertson backs Giuliani; denies Christian Right is fracturing, as he calls on all 700 Club members to convert to Judaism

Funny story written by Robert W. Armijo

Friday, 9 November 2007


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Pat Robertson calls on the faithful to vote for Giuliani

Washington, D.C. - Surprising fundamental Christians in the United States, Pat Robertson announced today his support of Republican Presidential candidate Rudy Giuliani, whose views on abortion and lifestyle has been all but what Robertson has been preaching about all these years. Robertson adamantly denied that his endorsement is splitting the Republican ticket and a sign that the Christian Right is fracturing, using the opportunity instead to repeat his call to all 700 Club members to convert to Judaism.

"We just can't afford to dilly-dally any longer," said Robertson to his viewers on his 700 Club TV Show. "We got to get a man like Giuliani that represents our core Christian values into the White House and won't compromise them when he gets there."

Robertson then went on to instruct the loyal members of the 700 Club to renounce their Christian faith and to pickup the phone, call their local Rabbi, and convert to Judaism.

"Look, I normally would not ask this of you," said Robertson in his plea to his viewers. "But with Senator Foly and now the Senator Craig sex scandals, I can't tell the Republicans apart from the Democrats anymore."

Robertson went on to say that the whole Christian Conservative stuff was falling apart right before his eyes. And that when Jesus Christ comes back, he wants to make it as easy as possible for him to decide whose side he is on and not mistake himself for one of the sons of darkness or worst, a Democrat.

"You can understand that, right," concluded Robertson.

As a former contender for the White House himself, Robertson knows firsthand what it takes to run a Presidential campaign and what the support means to Guiliani still so early in the game and who has not yet to win the nominee for President by the GOP, say political pundits.

However, Robertson has come under severe fire from the Christian Right for his endorsement of Giuliani, even from among those deep within his organization to the extent of getting personal with him and calling him a Judas Goat - a goat trained to lead other goats to the slaughter.

"Yeah, about that," said a spokesman for Robertson. "He doesn't like being call that very much. Although he doesn't deny its accuracy either."

As for Robertson's call for his 700 Club members to convert to Judaism, many were confused by his instructions, believing they already had converted years ago, while many more others misunderstood him and converted to Buddhism instead.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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