Global Warming Tied To Untreated Schizophrenia

Funny story written by Alison Hymes

Friday, 8 June 2007

image for Global Warming Tied To Untreated Schizophrenia
Hot enough for you?

In a connection heretofore overlooked by the world's top scientists, an article published in _Science_ today makes the case for a very strong correlation between people with schizophrenia who do not take anti-psychotics and the melting of the polar ice-caps.

Dr. Royally Fullofit explained that his team of scientists was actually looking for a connection between carbon emissions and global warming but when the Stanley Foundation offered them 5 million dollars to factor in untreated schizophrenia, they were not in a position to turn them down.

While some scientists expressed skepticism at the results, the American Psychiatric Association, the National Alliance on Mental Illness and Eli Lilly issued a joint statement: "This is exactly what we have been trying to warn the American public about all along. Now, maybe legislators and citizens will finally heed our warnings about the extreme danger to society posed by untreated schizophrenics."

A disgruntled patient who declined to be identified said: "Is it hot enough for you?".

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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