Written by Sardonicus

Friday, 8 June 2007

Hollywood, CA - With at least eighteen days to go on what should have been a minimum twenty-three day stay at a court ordered Non-Hilton Hotel & Resort, 'billionaire heiress' Paris Hilton was allowed to leave her jail cell and go home due to an undisclosed health issue.

Many Hollywood insiders believe that her early release may not have been due to good behavior, but to the ongoing preferential treatment provided to celebrities whose lineage is from "Old Money".

"This sort of thing doesn't happen to us new millionaires", says Jerry Hambone, who recently won $36 Million in the state lottery, while on trial for manslaughter. "I couldn't even get bail", he murmured.

Jerry, like many other recent "new money" millionaires believe there is a growing prejudice against those who haven't paid their dues to earn such wealth as Paris Hilton did.

A spokesperson for the lottery would not comment on the allegations, but was able to confirm that the State's New Millionaire Lottery Winner call center was flooded with calls from angry lottery winners and that some of those calls originated from the central jail. The Chief of Police had no comment.

Jerry Hambone said that he will mount a grass roots effort to stop such prejudices in the future, whether he is convicted of his crime or not. "It's time to take a stand for us Nuevo riche, who are doing time!", he exclaimed, as the bailiff escorted him out of the courtroom in an orange designer jumpsuit and Prada leg irons.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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