CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Washington - Last night, George W. Bush declared war on the United States of America. Ron Paul and Dennis Kucinich tried to block the action, but new apoitee Alberto Gonzales ruled in favor of George Bush.
Alberto Gonzales was pointed to the Supreme Court in a new position created by President Bush, Head Supreme Court Justice. President Bush gave Alberto Gonzales this position by Executive Order, which gives Gonzales the power to overrule no mater what the other Supreme Court Justices decide.
As soon as Gonzales ruled in his favor, President Bush released this document to the press:
- I, GEORGE W. BUSH, President of the United States of America, determine that the actions of certain persons to undermine Lebanon's legitimate and democratically elected government or democratic institutions, to contribute to the deliberate breakdown in the rule of law in Lebanon, including through politically motivated violence and intimidation, to reassert Syrian control or contribute to Syrian interference in Lebanon, or to infringe upon or undermine Lebanese sovereignty contribute to political and economic instability in that country and the region and constitute an unusual and extraordinary threat to the national security and foreign policy of the United States, and I hereby declare a national emergency to deal with that threat.
Please note the end of the last sentence. No one is sure what violence in Lebanon has to do with a national emergency in the US. Of course, no one has been sure of ANYTHING that President Bush has done since he came into office.
