Shuttle launches to beseech Gods to halt rain.

Written by matthatt

Thursday, 9 August 2007

image for Shuttle launches to beseech Gods to halt rain.
The God rocket! If he is out there, we will find him.

California: - NASA has despatched a crack team of boffins into the heavens today to parley and parlay with whatever gods can be found floating around above the clouds.

Usual methods of communication do not seem to be working recently and some experts say they haven't for longer than we think. "Once upon a time we would have petitioned the lord with prayer" said Father Pete O'Fyle "but these days with all this radio telecoms and static chatter, The Lord just can't hear us. So we have had to go and find him in person"

At least that's what one fringe religion called Catholicism is hoping for; others believe that NASA will find Krishna, Buddha, Zeus or even Odin. Some propose that all of them are up there waiting for us to contact them and they are probably puzzled and a little concerned as to why we haven't been in touch for so long.

"The purpose of this mission" said a NASA spokesperson, Chief Flight Commander Bannander "is to ask the gods to try and reverse the problems caused by global warming and to embark on a damage limitation program"

It has been noticed that on some parts of the planet we are deluged with rain whilst other areas are seeing soaring temperatures and forest fires. The shuttle crew are intent on soliciting the aid of whatever deity they can find, to move the rains to where the forest fires are, so as to solve both problems and get the planet back with the program. "We need to be singing from the same hymn sheet" Said Commander Bannander.

The last time we managed to get in touch with God he said that he was a bit tired of us only ever getting in touch when we wanted something and that we never popped round just to say hello and have a cup of tea, pass the time of day or even just ask how he was feeling.

"It's very disheartening" stated the omnipotent one "you try your best to bring up a decent human race, give them free will and you see how they use it? Well, I have had enough of you lot treating this place like a hotel, coming and going all hours of day and night, and look at that world! It's barely a few billenniums old and you have nearly worn it out. Maybe you will learn the value of things when you have to pay for your own planets"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!





Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more