Written by Cal Jennings

Thursday, 9 August 2007

image for People Who Support the U.S. Constitution Are Terrorists!
If you know someone who supports this document, call the FBI immediately!

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - United States - An FBI flyer created during the Clinton administration declares that "defenders" of the US Constitution against federal government and the UN are to be considered terrorists, especially if they are white or Christian.

Evidently you are also a terrorist if you speak out against law enforcement practices or advocate animal rights, the ecology, or are single (alone). It is likely that if you support one or more of these views, you probably have Weapons of Mass Destruction in the nature of nuclear, chemical, or biological weapons.

Also being sought are "Common Law Movement Proponents" who "Request authority for a stop," "Make numerous references to the US Constitution," "Attempt to 'police the police'," or consider themselves "Rebels."

If you encounter anyone who fits any of the the details in the description above, call the Joint Terrorism Task Force, the Maricopa County Sheriff's Office (Greater Phoenix, Arizona), and the Maricopa County Attorney. Your life could be in danger! Do not try to stop or speak to these individuals yourself, as it could result in severe bodily harm or even DEATH... not to mention TERRORISM. If you associate with one of these individuals, you may be labeled a TERRORIST yourself.

For more information, see: "Public Servants" Going After "Constitutional Terrorists"?

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
57 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more