A Deadly Quandary
Florida currently has a Presidential primary set for Jan. 29, 2008. To correct this affront, South Carolina, with a claim to be "first in the South," feels compelled to move their primaries to Jan. 22, 2008.
Read full storyAmy Winehouse - Shock Video Exclusive
LONDON (Defecated News) - In an exclusive revelation, The Spoof can now confirm that a betamax video of Amy Winehouse has been found. The contents are sure to shock all in the entertainment world, especiall...
Read full storyTullamore remembers Jewish Republican Publican
Manny Weinburg is a name that is better known in Ireland than it is in Israel, and yet Manny Weinburg is undoubtedly one of the Jewish peoples greatest heroes. Manny was born in the Austrian village of 'Fucking' in 1888 but moved to Ireland at th...
Read full storyFreddie Mercury "Did NOT Die From AIDS"
LONDON (Defecated News) - Pop Legend and arse-bandit extrordinaire Freddie Mercury (born as Farrokh Bulsara) lost his battle with life in November 1991. The cause of death had always been presumed related to the AIDS virus he caught...
Read full storyNew Ambulance Siren Will Include Sound of Machine-Gun Fire
"Something has to be done - nobody respects the ambulance siren anymore," explained local ambulance driver, John Walsh, as he flicked on his siren to more easily navigate through a crowded McDonald's parking lot. "I heard about th...
Read full storyNew Aishwarya Rai wax statue shows her four months pregnant
Times Square, New York - (ReUterus & Ass Mess): A new waxwork statue of Bollywood screen star and living goddess Aishwarya Rai is to be unveiled in Madame Tussaud's Times Square, New York next month and will show the green-eyed beauty four months...
Read full storyCherie apoplectic as her conman financial advisor Foster faces fraud trial
Brisbane, Australia - (Ass Mess): It's her worst nightmare ever. And now Cherie Blair is reported to be shitting herself as officials order her to lie low in the Carribean while her former financial advisor, Peter Foster, stands trial on fraud c...
Read full storyAlonso Throws Tantrum
Formula One ace Fernando Alsonso is reported to have thrown a huge tantrum after being demoted from pole to sixth on the grid for the Hungarian Grand Prix for childishly impeding Hamilton's qualifying, TheSpoof.com News can reveal.
Read full storyRe-inventing money laundering?
Alexandria, Louisiana - (Felonious Press): Are counterfeitters getting smarter or cops getting dumber? That's what is puzzling Louisiana investigators after a rash of fake $100 bills that flooded the market turned out to be bona fide $5 bills wa...
Read full storyMan Who Caught Barry Bonds Ball has Novel Way to Display it
After Barry Bonds hit his record breaking home run there was pandemonium in the stands to gain control of the ball. The ball has been estimated to be worth an undetermined amount. Bonds 72 HRs in a season fetched some $400.000. Fans are saying the ke...
Read full storyFoot & Mouth Outbreak Caused By Heroin-Addicted Cow
The UK foot & mouth outbreak, Spoof News can reveal, was not caused by a sewage leak from the Government-funded Pirbright Research Centre, but was spread by a cow who mistook a sample of the deadly disease for heroin.
Read full storyMenstal Cycles Leave Women Raging
A UKRAINIAN bicycle manufacturer in the picturesque village of Kil Menstal last night faced a barrage of criticism from women's groups at the official press launch of their new 2007 range.
Read full storyCavemen Arrested for Selling Fake Artifacts
Atlanta, Georgia (IP) Temperatures in Atlanta hit the tree digit mark today but things got even hotter for the Cavemen made so popular thanks to their TV commercials that seem to appear on the screen every 10 minutes.
Read full storyImmigrants Arrested for Ohms Law Violations
Mephistopheles, Tennessee (IP) - Two million immigrants have been rounded up and arrested by homeland security and immigration agents for gross violations of ohm's law. They have been taken to special reeducation camps where they will be taught...
Read full storyTo Promote Abstinence, Bush Begins 'Just say NO to vagina' Campaign
President Bush and his wife Laura announced today that the federal government will attempt to promote their Abstinence Only program and discourage teenage boys from having sex with a new $1.2 Billion 'Just say NO to vagina' advertising campai...
Read full storyCricket - Bob Woolmer's killers found and executed.
LONDON (Defecated News) - For months the mystery surrounding the fatal death of Pakistani cricket coach Bob Woolmer has been left wide open and unresolved. That is - until - now. The Pakistani government have informed The Spoof that...
Read full storyBush Declares War On the US
CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Washington - Last night, George W. Bush declared war on the United States of America. Ron Paul and Dennis Kucinich tried to block the action, but new apoitee Alberto Gonzales ruled in favor of George Bush.
Read full storyNew Lord Lucan sighting in Charles's back passage
Clarence House - (Rectum Press): A new sighting of Lord Lucan has been reported in Prince Charles's back passage - the last known confirmed sighting of the missing peer who vanished after losing the Hellfire Club's entire House of Mountbatten...
Read full storyShe's a Clinton and He's Black. NOW VOTE!
NEW YOIK (Defecated News) - Both are strong, charismatic and confident politicians with strong support from centre-left voters. But it would appear that their policies are starting to thin and the reasons for their presidency bids ar...
Read full storyAmy Whorehouse bombs after dodgy coke wrap ordeal
London - (Ass Mess): Amy Whorehouse pulled out of an MTV video music awards gig today after snorting the contents of a dodgy coke wrap scored from Camden Lock's notorious Whorely Arms pub.
Read full storyTissue Engineers Create Meat From A Fungus
LONDON (Defecated News) - Following a series of scientific 'breakthroughs' over the past few years, genetic scientists and tissue engineers have managed to isiloate specific cells from shitake mushroom and create a piece of m...
Read full storySpace Aliens Describe Their Preferences
Mexico City, Mexico (IP) I.P. investigative reporters were summoned to the Intergalactic Alien's Union Mother Ship so that the aliens could express themselves via the Maximum Alien Supreme (His English name is Tim Nugent) and clear up some questi...
Read full storyPirbright lab staff 'suffering from mad cow disease'
Pirbright, Slurry - (Reterus & Ass Mess): Workers at the government's Pirbright animal rights research center have tested positive for mad cow disease.
Read full storyAl Gore Sells His Business Empire for $3.2bn
LONDON (Defecated News) - Former Vice President and guy who nearly got the top job himself, but didn't really, Al Gore is set to pocket over $3bn this year.
Read full storyAl Qaeda and Taliban Grateful to Mr. Bush
Bush City, Talibania (IP) - Our investigative reporter has just learned that the Al Qaeda and Taliban director of social services and etiquette has been instructed by her bosses to send a nice thank you card to president Bush for the wonderful stock...
Read full storyMan vs Wild Adventures Authenticated
Kookamanga, Belize (IP) - An investigative reporter has verified that Bear Gryll's adventures are indeed bona fide.
Read full storyLas Vegas Tops Heaven as Ultimate Destination
(Las Vegas) - A new report by the Las Vegas Visitors Board shows that more people go to Las Vegas than go to Heaven.
Read full storyPutin's Arctic sub crashes into sightseeing pleasure boat
Svalbard Islands, Arctic Ocean - (Ass Mess): The Russian submarine cerdited with establishing Vladimir Sputum's claims to hydrocarbon deposits under the North Polce last week has collided dramatically with a sightseeing pleasure-cruiser off the S...
Read full storyProfile: Geritol Hightower Says He's The REAL Ironman
At 72, Hightower leads the fight against agism. Say "Iron Man," and Marvel Comic fans automatically assume you're referring to Tony Starks from the Avengers crew. But unlike the superhero, 72-year old Geritol Hightower didn't need a shrapnel wound to the chest nor did he have to sell out to the Vietnam Communist party to become Iron Man.
Read full storyMuslim-Mormon Rap Fusion Duo Make Their First $1bn
NEW YOIK (Defecated News) - One was born in Saudi Arabia, the other in Salt Lake City. One is a follower of Islam, the other a Mormon. But what links these two is their music and the one billion dollars they have made since forming their rap...
Read full storySubway Cause A Spicy Storm With Human Flesh Sandwich
NEW YOIK (Defecated News) - They've opened up franchise restaurants around the world serving sandwiches made from bread baked that same day, fillings as fresh as possible. Value for money and ultimately, a delicious meal, have ma...
Read full storyBollywood Casablanca Remake To Star That Mohit Bloke
The classic Hollywood romance movie Casablanca is to be given a Bollywood makeover, renamed and rereleased in traditional Indian cinema format, complete with 26 new and unending 'musical...
Read full storySiamese Twins To Have Surgery? My Arse!
BEIJING (Defecated News) - The science world has been in a state of deep confusion since the birth of Siamese Twins Yu Lon Kok and Yu Wi Kok nearly twenty years ago. How could they survive such adverse circumstances and how could the...
Read full storySteve Coogan To Play Eddie 'The Eagle' Edwards In Terrible Film
TV funnyman and chat show host Steve Coogan is set to play the lead role of anti-hero Eddie 'The Eagle' Edwards in a movie of the talentless British ski-jumping nonentity's 'hardly-worth-telli...
Read full storyPresident Bush Diagnosed with Liars Disease
Questions, questions, questions. Ever since George Bush took office there were mountains of unanswered questions about, to begin with how could he have beaten Al Gore when he was clearly defeated by his Democratic opponent?...
Read full storyLampard Eats Robben
Turmoil has engulfed the Chelsea squad as reports surface that midfielder Frank "I'm not fat, I'm just big-boned" Lampard has eaten teammate Arjen Robben. Suspicions were raised when Robben didn't arrive as usual for th...
Read full storyShuttle launches to beseech Gods to halt rain.
California: - NASA has despatched a crack team of boffins into the heavens today to parley and parlay with whatever gods can be found floating around above the clouds.
Read full storyOutsourcing goes too far this time
Outsourcing, the hiring of foreigners to work at wages unacceptable to normal (i.e. American) people, is nothing new. It's everywhere in corporate America these days. In fact, the very article you're reading now is outsourced. It is being wri...
Read full storyGovernment backed military cult discovered!
London - Root-ours:-In a shock press release today, investigative journalist told how they have discovered the presence of a military based super cult right under our very noses and even more shockingly it exists wit...
Read full storyHow to Write a Successful article for The Spoof! - The Bollywood Method
A supercomputer in the Spoof! offices in Canary Wharf has supposedly cracked the secret of writing a successful Spoof! article.
Read full storyBilly the Kid shot for "not being in a gang"
Mother of teenage gun victim Billy the Kid, said that her son was shot for not being in a gang. Mrs Winny the-Kidd told our reporter that her son, the youngest of three, was a model student. His older brothers, Cherokee Bill
Read full storyFox News Turns to Local Crime Reporting
New York, New York (IP) - Investigative reporters have learned that President Bush and the Iraq war have become so unpopular that Fox news and the Glenn Beck show have decided that reporting on those subjects would be detrimental to the Republican pa...
Read full storySoccer's David Beckham signs for San Francisco 49ers
Pro Football is a cut throat business where millions can be won or lost with just one kick of the ball, now the San Francisco 49ers are gambling not just dollars but ultimately their reputation on World Soccer's David Beckham who Head Coach Mike...
Read full storyGhastly American Plots Fashion Heist at Diana Memorial
British security forces are in a xenophobic search for grotesquely wealthy American divorcee Suzie Schitz, ex-wife of the trillionaire burger wrap manufacturer Leonard (Lennie) "Clever" Schitz.
Read full storyPeople Who Support the U.S. Constitution Are Terrorists!
CCN (Crazy Cal News) - United States - An FBI flyer created during the Clinton administration declares that "defenders" of the US Constitution against federal government and the UN are to be considered terrorists, especially if they are whi...
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