Cal-el Finds Corrupt Bastards Leader
CCN (Crazy Cal News) - The Spoof - Today, CalJennings ran for a telephone booth to change into his alter-ego, Cal-el, at The Spoof office headquarters.
Read full storyGnarly Erik Sez Texuns Kan't Spel Bare
CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Teksus - Tudae, TheSpoof.com writer Gnarly Erik wrot a artikul claimin' that us Texuns kan't spel bare.
Read full storyEarthquake shakes the Kent coast
Following the devastating earthquake in the English Channel the expected tsunami wasn't as bad as first expected.
Read full storyKent Hit by Death Rays
Our correspondant has discovered that the massive earthquakes which have rocked Kent this weekend were actually caused by death-rays directed from the newly discovered Earth-like planet Gliese 58,120 light years away.
Read full storyNewcastle warn England over Owen
Newcastle chairman Freddy Shepherd says striker Michael Owen will not be that good once he returns back from injury.
Read full storyPeter Andre Brain Scan- No Worries for Jordan
Katie Price has returned home from hospital today after doctors advised her that Peter Andre's brain scan showed no chance of any brain damage- in fact they failed to detect a brain at all.
Read full storyThe Moon Crashes Into Mountain in Alaska
CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Alaska - Last night, the moon crashed into a high mountain in Alaska. No one expected such an occurance, least of not Earth scientists.
Read full storyRepublicans Call Arnie A 'New Deal Democrat'
CCN - Cal-ee-for-nee-uh - "He ain't no Republicrat," cried George Bush. "Govnur Arnuld Shwars.. Schwarz... Schwer... the Terminatur guy don't stand for Repbulicrat values."...
Read full storyJapan Court Rules Against Nappy Headed Hos and Laborers
CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Tokyo, April 27 - Two rulings were handed down from Japan's highest court as Prime Minister Shinzo Abe tried to head off a resolution on Japan's wartime sex slavery in the House of Representatives during a two-day visit...
Read full storyHellfire Club martiarch cancels commemorative visit to Jamestown Massacre
Buckingham Palace - (Ass Mess): The official State Visit to the US next week has been cancelled after Virgina residents complained that it would revive too many unpleasant memories on all sides of the Jamestown Massacre which Elizabeth II was due to...
Read full storyHillary Clinton Shocker Barack Obama Rubbed My Uvula
WASHINGTON D.C.--(DCROMANCE) Presidential front-runner Senator Hillary Clinton (D-New York) last night accused fellow Democrat Senator Barack Obama (D-Illinois) of conduct unbecoming of a Government legislative offic...
Read full storyS.P.E.C.T.R.E."not guilty" says lawyer
Phil S.P.E.C.T.R.E.'s lawyer denied in court that his client was guilty of killing some American actress by shooting her through the head. The woman, who cannot be identified because nobody remembers her name, was found dead in S.P.E.C.T.R.E.'...
Read full storyJohn Edwards denies superficial opportunist tag
Washington DC - (Ass mess): Wannabe president John Edwards has strongy denied that some influential Democrats with party keys to the really big campaign coffers have called him a superficial opportunist who is not afraid to exploit a carcinoma when h...
Read full story"Blue Peter scammed my children"
Mother of twins Nora Thicky told our reporter how once respected children's programme Blue Peter had scammed her children into building a 4 bedroomed house. "The sexy Indian chick presenter visited their sch...
Read full storyBritney Spears Learns Lesson in New Risque Photos
Britney Spears has finally learned her lesson. The pop tart was walking on a windy Hollywood street yesterday when a gust blew up her dress. Photographers ans paparazzi quickly grabbed cameras and bystanders pointed cell phones at the actress/par...
Read full storyWhite House Chef Tired of Cooking for Immature Palate
After working for a panoply of kings, queens, sultans and prime ministers, the White House chef said his talents are going to waste with his current employer.
Read full storyMattress Sales Rise Due to Growing Distrust in Future
As a result of the public's growing distrust in the future of social security, the world's financial markets and America's imminent bankruptcy, due to the Bush administration's overzealous war spending, mattress sales are reportedly s...
Read full storyDoctor Who quits NHS
In a shock announcement, TV celebrity and galavanting Timelord, Doctor Who, said he was quitting the NHS, blaming it on Government reforms.
Read full storyBritish Judge gives Moslem Terrorist a Butler
In another loopy decision, an English High Court Judge ordered the British Government to release a well-known Afghan terrorist and award him … a butler.
Read full storyJade Goody to coach Richard Gere in Bollywood Etiquette
In a shock announcement, actor Richard Gere's agent has announced that the star of such romantic films as "Pretty Woman" is to receive coaching on etiquette from English former nanny and Bad Girl of Celebrity Big Brothe...
Read full storyChelsea Flower Show cancels Rosie O'Donnell rose after pressure from Trump
Royal Hospital, Chelsea - (Ass Mess): The organisers of this year's Chelsea Flower show have decided to dump the official debut of the Rosie O'Donnell Rose after a series of embarassing spats with US billionaqire and hair-slickover artist Don...
Read full storyMy name is Doug and I like Hugh Grant
You should know (and I'm ashamed to admit this) that I'm totally into chick flicks and Hugh Grant is one of my favorite actors. So, when "Music and Lyrics" came out at the theater, I wanted to go. I asked a female friend of mine to go with me and she reluctantly agreed. (She's more into action or horror movies.) So, we get to the theater and there's a total of two guys at...
Read full storyQuarterback Michael Vick In Trouble For Dog Fighting
Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick is in trouble again. Police raided his home in a search for drugs and discovered 66 pit bulls used for dog fighting and all of the associated equipment and tools. Vick denied knowledge of the animals or the...
Read full storyNew Paris Hilton Autopsy Sculpture Unveiled
A new statue of Paris Hilton has been unveiled at a New York museum. In the statue, a naked Paris Hilton is laid out on a table with her inards exposed. The golden statue wears a tiara and her dog is on top of her, also in a tiara. The organs are...
Read full storyKatie's Cruise ultimatum: either the mother-in-law goes or I do
Hollywood - (Ass Mess): Film actor Tom Cruise has received an ultimatum from wife Katie Holmes, mother of their baby daughter Suri, who is said to have become exasperated at having her mother-in-law Mary Lee Mapother living in a custom built shed-cum...
Read full storyWayne Rooney Is Inspiration Behind New Cartoon Character
A schoolboy from Sheffield has created the first new character to be included in one of Britain's favourite comic strips since it began 50 years ago.
Read full storyJesus was 'robot from the future', claim archaeologists
Archaeologists from the University of Alabama have found amazing new evidence about the life of Jesus - or the JESUS 9000 as it is now known.
Read full storyKate Middleton's work pals say she blames George Bush
London - (Ass Mess): Kate Middleton's colleagues at Jigsaw have told UK press reporters that the 25 year old former girlfriend of Prince William dumped her beau when she found out that George Bush was his actual father and not Prince Charles.
Read full storyTsunami fears as earthquake hits UK
Kent - (Ass Mess): Large parts of coastal South East Britain were put on Tsunami alert after an earthquake struck Kent at breakfast time this morning.
Read full storyThe iPod - Creative Zen Prototype?
Today, Creative Labs accused an ex-worker of their company who moved to Apple of stealing the Zen plans from them and then opening the iPod factory in California. They further claim that they actually invented iTunes way before Apple.
Read full storyMan's toupe dislodged during Kent earthquake
The county of Kent, England, was shaken by an earthquake yesterday. Although the quake, measuring 0.1 on the Richter scale, was not as serious as some that have hit foreign countries, residents were trembling in their houses, fearful...
Read full storyWest Ham Hammered By FA
West Ham United, amazingly still in the Premier League, have been hit by a massive fine over irregularities concerning the transfers of Argentinian players Carlos Tevez and Javier Mascherano.
Read full storyDemocrats sell army to Iraq
The Democrat Committee on Public Spending has issued its plans to sell parts of the Army to the fledgling Iraqi Government. The deal will turn over the 3rd Army Heavy Brigade, an undisclosed Infantry Brigade and the 101st Air Cavalry with an option o...
Read full storyIran Cracks Down On 'Short Beards'
Undercover foreign journalists operating in Iran have revealed, through videotape evidence, a frightening clampdown in the country, with thousands of men being arrested - merely for having beards that are too short. Papa Ratso, a reporter from Cir...
Read full storyBritain Basks In Hottest April Since...Yawn
The UK Met Office has said that this month has been the hottest April since records began in 1659. The average temperature was 12.2 degrees Celsius, a full 3 degrees higher than the previous historical high of 9.2 degrees Celsius rec...
Read full storyChinese autarch demands enterprises give members 800 RMB subsidiary
Given implication from the Chinese Communist Party, some enterprises in the mainland China give their employees who are CCP members a subsidy, a fifth of their salary. How absurd and crazy are the Chinese Communist Party!...
Read full storyI, ET McCrone Will Be Prince Hal's Human Shield
he minute I heard that Iraqi Militia had targeted Prince Hal in Iraq I decided that I would travel to that British colony and serve as a human shield for our boy royal! As a candidate for my newly invented position of PrezMinister most of my focus has been on reuniting the English colonizers with the American colonists. Now I realize that my focus was much to narrow. Why should I not seek the reun...
Read full storyHeat Trail Bulls 3-0; Riley To Have Hip Replacement Surgery
MIAMI, FL, USA - The defending NBA champion Miami Heat lost their third consecutive playoff game to the the Chicago Bulls Friday night, losing by a score of 104-96. Chicago guard Ben Gordon led the Bulls with 27 points, while forward Luol Deng added...
Read full storyA-Rod's Surge Puts Yanks in the Cellar!
Sports analysts across the country are in agreement that Alex Rodriguez has always performed best on losing teams. His best numbers were put up on a cellar-dwelling Texas Ranger Team, once owned by perennial loser President Bush. Now that A-Rod is ab...
Read full storyIn and Out Burgers Is People!
Christian-owned fast food phenomenon, In and Out Burgers, the fresh meat and real potatoes drive-thru restaurant has been sweeping the west and lately the southwest of the United States. A recent In and Out Opening in Tucson has has round the clock l...
Read full storyBoy Gore Invented Space Capsule!
A long lost family photo of young Al Gore's early forays into the field of space exploration have been uncovered in a family photo archive.
Read full storyHillary announces new plan for Law Enforcement
In New York today, Democratic candidate Hillary Clinton proposed her new police force to be created if she wins the upcoming Presidential election.
Read full storyBlood Diamonds Inspires World-Wide Donation
The film Blood Diamonds has inspired a global movement to donate diamond engagement rings to help the oppressed diamond miners across Africa.
Read full storyGhost of Elvis appears on American Idol -- demands duet with Sanjaya
Hollywood, California - Wednesday night millions of American Idol fans tuned in to find Celine Dion singing with a computer enhanced image of Elvis, when they were actually witnessing the ghost of Elvis himself.
Read full storyIraqi Militia Unit - "Make My Day" Hunts Harry!
An Iraqi militia unit code named "Make My Day" has the obsessive goal of capturing Prince Harry!...
Read full storyHabeas Corpus Body count in Iraq!
US Corpse Census Takers in Iraq have been reporter a reduction of dead since Bush's surge. Bushologist, Ameye Knutts, reports that this sort of thing has happened often in the checkered career of W. He fails and then fails and then fails hard. .
Read full storyObama Arrested as Terrorist
Barack Hussein Obama was arrested on suspicions of being a terrorist at Washington DC's Dulles airport.
Read full storyAl Gore requests Anna Nichole Smiths' remains be exhumed
Following up on his Documentary film, Former Vice President Al Gore says he "Is concerned with the environment, and wishes for Anna Nichole Smiths' remains to be exhumed, due to a possible ecological impact on the surrounding soil."
Read full storyBill Gates to Take On Microsoft
Bill Gates announced he is coming out of retirement to head up the new start-up called "Macrosoft" in his bid to compete with the software giant Microsoft, the company he founded.
Read full storyBrown Nose & Puckered Lips in a Bush Award Winner Announced
This weekend the "Brown Nose & Puckered Lips in a Bush Award" was given to Australian Prime Minister John Howard.
Read full storyHugh Grant Strikes Again!
Hugh Grant's reign of terror continued today when he assaulted a meter maid with a pan of hot blueberry muffins. The victim, an unidentified male, suffered first degree burns on his forearm. This follows Grant's "baked beans" atta...
Read full storySanjaya Accepts Job Offer To Raise Money To Get Mom Out of Jail
Sanjaya Malakar, faced with mounting legal bills for his mother and sister, has accepted a job offer from The Helen of Troy corporation. Sanjaya will begin modelling wigs for the company beginning immediately.
Read full storyCurt Schilling Silences Doubters of Bloody Sock
In 2004, Curt Schilling pitched the Boston Red Sox to a World Series victory. He did this with damage to his right foot that caused his socks to fill up with blood. Doubters (read as "Yankee Fans") now believe that the sock was faked to m...
Read full storyTyra Banks Grabs Rosie O'Donnell on Breast
During an interview on The View, model and actress Tyra Banks reached across and grabbed Rosie O'Donnell on the breasts. Rosie reacted by jumping back in surprise. "Whoa," she yelled, "what kind of girl do you think I am? You just don't reach out...
Read full storyJohn Edwards and the $400 Haircut
John Edwards fought against the $1200 toilet seats and $285 dollar hammers. The Senator was vigilant in searching through bills in Congress to block extravagent spending and purchases. He rallied against governmental trips to Nassau or Maui for dep...
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