John Edwards denies superficial opportunist tag

Funny story written by queen mudder

Saturday, 28 April 2007

image for John Edwards denies superficial opportunist tag
Superficial opportunist? Me? Oh yeah??

Washington DC - (Ass mess): Wannabe president John Edwards has strongy denied that some influential Democrats with party keys to the really big campaign coffers have called him a superficial opportunist who is not afraid to exploit a carcinoma when he sees one.

"I resent that superficial tag," Edwards told the press today.

"I may not be the deepest candidate the party has ever had, I may not be the most obvious either.

"But my brand of opportunism is so much more wholesome and better ethically developed than anything any of the other candidates have so far come up with.

"And that includes former First Lady who would switch to the Republican Party at the drop of a hat if they guaranteed her the same kind of backing that they gave George W Bush in 2000."

The prospect of a Republican President Clinton sent tremors througout the Dems' party hierarchy whose worst nightmare so far has been Condoleezza Rice switching to the Dems as the Vice Presidential runner to Barack Obama.

Edwards meanwhile has yet to hint at whom he would choose as a running mate for 2008 if he is chosen to lead the Dems but top of the list of suggestions are NY Governor Elliot Spitzer (2/1) and New Jersey's Jon Corzine (5/2) if he recovers sufficiently from his recent car crash that saw him sustain multiple fractures for faiing to wear seatbelt.

Hillary Clinton is 59.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot