Hugh Grant's reign of terror continued today when he assaulted a meter maid with a pan of hot blueberry muffins. The victim, an unidentified male, suffered first degree burns on his forearm. This follows Grant's "baked beans" attack on a photographer earlier this week. Police are warning people to stay inside and not to approach Grant, who was seen purchasing a cream pie earlier in the day.
"We know he's carrying it around and he's crazy enough to use it," said a police spokesman.
The House of Commons debated today whether actors should be allowed to carry concealed food. Testimony was heard from a couple who was once attacked by Colin Firth when he splattered them with a bowl of warm chili.
Twelve countries currently ban actors from carrying concealed food without a permit. France was the latest country to enact a ban and food related assaults by actors have decreased by 327%.