There were 3,164 spoof news snippets published in June 2010. A selection of the best rated snippets is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get all the news snippets from a day in this month.

Order by:
Rating:

Jennifer Aniston Is Certainly Giving It The Old College "Beaver Shot" Try

Brad Pitt who admits to being a leg man says he knows his ex-wife Jennifer Aniston has been going out of her way to show of her fantastic legs and cute hooha in hopes of snagging him back.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 04 June 2010
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Rooney Breaks Down

Millions watch as Rooney breaks down in the six yard box over his over his inability to think outside the box. In fact, he has actually built a box within the box and is now refusing to come out.

written by Jeremy Paxman, 27 June 2010
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Twin Pensioners Born

Mildred Clarice Joyce of Chipping Sodbury today gave birth to twin pensioners a staggering 65 years after getting pregnant to a de-mobbed solider at the end of WWII.

written by Jeremy Paxman, 28 June 2010
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Beautiful Garden State News: Secaucus

Secaucus mayor Dennis Elwell was arrested for accepting millions in bribes. In New Jersey, this is punishable with a $15.00 fine or two days in jail.

written by anthonyrosania, 30 June 2010
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One Star Bum Bandit Scoops Award

No-show at "Butthole Of The Year Awards"

written by Skoob1999, 15 June 2010
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OSAB Comes Clean

Must have been the viagra.

written by Skoob1999, 15 June 2010
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Beautiful Garden State News: n. plainfield

Officials looking to further differentiate itself from Plainfield voted to erect a wall separating the two towns. A sign to be erected will read "North Plainfield, NOT where the criminals are.

written by anthonyrosania, 30 June 2010
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Beautiful Garden State News: Wyckoff

Wyckoff has made it a 4th degree crime to call the township Whack off. Repeat offenders are shot.

written by anthonyrosania, 30 June 2010
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England Team "Tired" Says Capello

The fans are "tired" too. Tired of England.

written by Skoob1999, 28 June 2010
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John Cleese: I Trained Fidel Castro

It's a little known fact that all South American National Anthems are based on the Monty Python theme tune thanks to John Cleese's and Terry Gilliam's early careers as insurgents alongside Che Guevera

written by Jeremy Paxman, 28 June 2010
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Is It Tina Fey or Is It Sarah Palin?

Tina Fey said that last week she really got into the Sarah Palin character so much that she actually had the urge to go out and shoot a damn caribou.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 04 June 2010
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Beyonce To Release Vuvuzela Single.

Can't be worse than 'All The Single Ladies Put A Ring On It' say industry insiders.

written by Skoob1999, 20 June 2010
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Beautiful Garden State News: Burlington Twp.

Burlington officials are bringing recycling to the Township. Next year: indoor plumbing

written by anthonyrosania, 30 June 2010
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Beautiful Garden State News: Point Pleasant

Asbury Park is keeping abreast of vacationers' changing tastes: It is considering letting women go topless on a city beach. HAHAHA!Abreast.I write funny thingz for free.

written by anthonyrosania, 30 June 2010
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Beautiful Garden State News: Carteret

Police say that the homicide rate in Carteret has gone down 44% in the last year. C'mon, everyone! We're not trying hard enough.

written by anthonyrosania, 30 June 2010
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Rejected Jeopardy questions, #5

ANSWER: This ginger is stupid, and smells like the Clap, allegedly.

QUESTION: Who is Linsday Lohan?

written by anthonyrosania, 16 June 2010
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Beautiful Garden State News: Morris Twp.

Morris Township NJ lays off 17 workers; asks remaining staff to switch to generic prescriptions, apply for food stamps.

written by anthonyrosania, 30 June 2010
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Garden State News: Cranford

A man lying on tracks near the Cranford train station was struck and killed by an oncoming NJT locomotive over the weekend. Officials are considering moving the homeless shelter from off the tracks.

written by anthonyrosania, 30 June 2010
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Beautiful Garden State News: Hillside Township

New Jersey Door Works in Hillside pleaded guilty today to overbilling Union County by nearly $60000. "We thought they wanted the diamond encrusted door locks. Whoopsie!!"

written by anthonyrosania, 30 June 2010
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Beautiful Garden State News: Cranford

A man lying on tracks near the Cranford train station was struck and killed by an oncoming NJT locomotive over the weekend. Officials are considering moving the homeless shelter from off the tracks.

written by anthonyrosania, 30 June 2010
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Garden State News: Cranford

A man lying on tracks near the Cranford train station was struck and killed by an oncoming NJT locomotive over the weekend. Officials are considering moving the homeless shelter from off the tracks.

written by anthonyrosania, 30 June 2010
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Beautiful Garden State News: Seaside Park.

Seaside Park Mayor Thomas Connors was arrested outside N.J. nightclub Saturday. He was the 17th person arrested for punching Snooki Polizzi in the face. Because she had it coming, the fat turd.

written by anthonyrosania, 30 June 2010
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Beautiful Garden State News: Bridgeton

Bridgeton Skate park is a new practice ground for skateboarders and roller-bladers, replacing the Bridgeton Crack Den

written by anthonyrosania, 30 June 2010
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Beautiful Garden State News: Morris Twp.

Morris Township NJ lays off 17 workers; asks remaining staff to switch to generic prescriptions, apply for food stamps.

written by anthonyrosania, 30 June 2010
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Amazing! Tweets discovered from 1876, part 12

October 31 - The Transcontinental arrived in San Francisco from New York City. Coast to Coast in 3 1/2 days; there's a record that'll never be broken.

written by anthonyrosania, 06 June 2010
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Rejected Jeopardy questions, #2

A.: Dog food and garbage pickings.
Q.: What is grandma going to eat until her foodstamps come?

written by anthonyrosania, 16 June 2010
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Bizarre Movie Recasts, #36

The Brain of Pinky and The Brain for Orsen Welles, Citizen Kane. "We did use The Brain, actually. Listen to the voice! Couldn't you tell?"

written by anthonyrosania, 16 June 2010
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Obama - I'll Bleach My Eyeballs

Following claims of hypocrisy for whining about the BP oil spill, President Obama today took full responsibility for the Bhopal chemical disaster and pledged to inject his eyes with bleach to atone

written by Jeremy Paxman, 29 June 2010
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Jose "The Steroid Buster" Canseco Is In The Building

Jose Canseco says that he has not written a book dealing with steroids in baseball in at least three weeks.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 04 June 2010
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Beautiful Garden State News: Irvington

Irvington: An Irvington resident was hired as a 60k a year middle manager for a local company, breaking the city's 100% unemployment rate.

written by anthonyrosania, 30 June 2010
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Beautiful Garden State News: Medford

Medford's K-12 budget includes $4 million in cuts. From now on, 4th grade will be called "Recess at home."

written by anthonyrosania, 30 June 2010
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Beautiful Garden State News: South Plainfield

Thursday, the best of the state gathered for the 100 meter race. South Plainfield's Miles Shuler won. He's got PLENTY of practice running from criminals in South Plainfield.

written by anthonyrosania, 30 June 2010
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Obama Threatens Nuclear Strike Against England For BP Disaster.

Obama Threatens Nuclear Strike Against England For BP Disaster: "Mess up my Gulf, I irradiate your country. USA! USA! USA!"

written by anthonyrosania, 13 June 2010
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Bizarre Movie Recasts, #31

Sandra Oh instead of the Alien, Aliens: "Well, Sandra was much uglier than the original Alien, so continuity would have suffered. Also, who could stand looking at her that long. YUCK!"

written by anthonyrosania, 16 June 2010
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Bizarre Movie Recasts, #32

Kristy McNichol instead of Jodie Foster, Taxi Driver: "We had both of those fine young gentleman audition, but we felt Jodie was the man for the job."

written by anthonyrosania, 16 June 2010
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Rejected Jeopardy questions, #3

ANSWER: This brown hardwood item is nicknamed "The Louisville Slugger."

QUESTION: What is Muhammad Ali's penis?

written by anthonyrosania, 16 June 2010
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Beautiful Garden State News: Union City

Union City: The city has changed its spelling to "Joonyun Ceety", to better reflect how the name is pronounced by residents.

written by anthonyrosania, 30 June 2010
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Beautiful Garden State News: Bayonne

Bayonne: Contrary to popular belief, city officials say, Bayonne is not Spanish for "This town smells like a warm dumpster."

written by anthonyrosania, 30 June 2010
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Beautiful Garden State News: Spotswood

Spottswood: To adequately mimic the living arrangements of its residents, the Spotswood Police Department will continue to use a sh-tty trailer as its base of operations.

written by anthonyrosania, 30 June 2010
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Beautiful Garden State News: Cranford

A man lying on tracks near the Cranford train station was struck and killed by an oncoming NJT locomotive over the weekend. Officials are considering moving the homeless shelter from off the tracks.

written by anthonyrosania, 30 June 2010
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Beautiful Garden State News: West Windsor

Fifteen crews earned under 23 national team berths on Friday at the 2010 Under 23 World Championships Trials on Mercer Lake in W. Windsor. We think it involves yachts, or steeplechase, or something.

written by anthonyrosania, 30 June 2010
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One Star Arse Bandit Insists He's Not Gay

Everybody says they don't believe him and give him one star anyway for being an okay liar.

written by Skoob1999, 15 June 2010
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Beautiful Garden State News: Camden

Camden: A former Camden police officer admitted to planting evidence today, which means that now EVERY Camden cop is corrupt.

written by anthonyrosania, 30 June 2010
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The Only Dude Ranch In Massachusetts Is Forced To Shut Down

The one and only dude ranch in the entire state of Massachusetts has had to shut down because someone stole the horse.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 04 June 2010
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Rare Tweets Discovered From 1979 Part 39

November 17 - This month's Playboy Playmate had her crotch completely shaved. Ewwww! I can't imagine that look will catch on.

written by anthonyrosania, 06 June 2010
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Gelatinous, Useless Big Boobed Orange Midget Spotted Dancing With Mother in Deptford, NJ Club.

The Gelatinous, Useless Big Boobed Orange Midget Spotted Dancing With Mother in Deptford, NJ Club was identified as "Jersey Shore"'s bulbous punching bag Nicole Snooki Polizzi.

written by anthonyrosania, 02 June 2010
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Amazing! Tweets discovered from 1876, part 4

August 12 - What an age of technology! Edison has invented the mimeograph. I heard the paper smells really good.

written by anthonyrosania, 06 June 2010
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The Shocking Pink Statue of Liberty?

The Statue of Liberty will be painted pink in honor of "Take A Lesbian Out To Lunch Week."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 04 June 2010
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Soprano's Pizza

New Jersey's Soprano's Pizza: They'll make you a calzone you can't refuse. Or digest.

written by anthonyrosania, 30 June 2010
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Yay, A Grand Slam. Yay, My Team Is Here To Congratulate Me! Catch Me, Guys!! Ow, My Leg Is Broken

Los Angeles Angels first baseman Kendry Morales Morales broke his leg hile celebrating his game winning grand slam.
It is only a walk-off grand slam if you can actually WALK OFF!

written by anthonyrosania, 01 June 2010
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Beautiful Garden State News: Edison

Monday's issue of Time Magazine reflects on changes in Edison in a piece called "My Own Private India." In protest, All 7-11s and most of Dell's technical support are boycotting.

written by anthonyrosania, 29 June 2010
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Netherlands or Holland?

The Netherlands (Holland) will now meet Brasil (Brazil) after they made it through to the last eight of the 2010 World Cup with a goal in each half to beat Slovakia (Czechoslovakia) 3-1.

written by Monkey Woods, 29 June 2010
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Bizarre Movie Recasts, #28

Ray Liotta instead of Joey Pants, Memento: "Who gives a sh-t, nobody saw the movie anyway."

written by anthonyrosania, 16 June 2010
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Bizarre Movie Recasts, #29

Kim Cattrall instead of Virginia Cherrill in Chaplin's third silent film, City Lights: "That was only 77 years ago. Kim was too old."

written by anthonyrosania, 16 June 2010
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Bizarre Movie Recasts, #33

Paris Hilton instead of Guy Who Got 'Curbed', American History X: "It would have made no sense in the movie, but it'd been great to see Paris get her head stomped on, right?"

written by anthonyrosania, 16 June 2010
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Carla Brunei Matches Husband

Carla Brunei visited London today wearing a grey Dior dress. "I am doing zis in sympathy with my usband's hair, I just don't want to let him feel left out." she said.

written by IN SEINE, 18 June 2010
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News From Other Countries: Cocos

Cocos (Keeling) Islands; "Cocos Island; Tueaday is Ladies night, Wednesday is 'Float on a Wood Door from Sri Lanka to the Cocos' night.

written by anthonyrosania, 29 June 2010
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News From Other Countries: Cuba

Cuba: Cuba's new Tourism board will use the slogan: "Come for the socialized medicine, stay for the Havana to Miami Raft Races!"

written by anthonyrosania, 29 June 2010
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Al Gore removes 40 Year-old Ball And Chain.

Al and Tipper Gore say they have made mutual decision to separate. The media was tipped off when Al Gore lost 30lb., shaved his beard off, and started wearing his Nobel Prize around his penis.

written by anthonyrosania, 01 June 2010
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Rare Tweets Discovered From 1979 Part 36

December 3 - Got general admission tix for The Who at Riverfront! I'm gonna stampede to the front when I get there!!

written by anthonyrosania, 06 June 2010
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Beautiful Garden State News: Paterson

Paterson: In light of NY Governor Paterson's recent legal troubles, and to honor most of its residents, the Town has decided to change its name to "Little Nicaragua"

written by anthonyrosania, 29 June 2010
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Amazing! Tweets discovered from 1876, part 6

August 20 - Have u heard Jesse James is quitting his life of crime. I think he is starting an axe company. Its called West Coast Choppers.

written by anthonyrosania, 06 June 2010
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The Extremely Masculine Nancy Grace May Be No More

Nancy Grace will be having surgery to give her a more feminine look instead of the bitch dyke look she presently has.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 04 June 2010
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Beautiful Garden State News: Middletown

Middletown: Middletown has announced what township residents have long knows: The Target on Palmer Avenue IS the town's cultural centerpiece.

written by anthonyrosania, 30 June 2010
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Beautiful Garden State News: Cherry Hill

Cherry Hill: Melrose Place's Amy Locane charged with vehicular homicide in a DUI accident in Cherry Hill. She claimed she was driving to Cherry Hill Mall, but no one goes there on purpose.

written by anthonyrosania, 30 June 2010
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Spoof Writer Turning Into Adam Lambert

"Me thumb nail's turned black," says Skoob. "I hope I don't have to break the other nine digits to get that Adam Lambert look."

written by Skoob1999, 15 June 2010
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Beautiful Garden State News: Brick

Brick: The Township has decided to change its name. From now on it'll be Where Seaside Heights Residents Are Pulled Over For DUI-Ville.

written by anthonyrosania, 30 June 2010
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Beautiful Garden State News: Old Bridge

The Old Bridge man killed by 17-year-olds taught computer science at College of Staten Island, meaning he was surrounded by disgusting trash at home and at work.

written by anthonyrosania, 30 June 2010
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Beautiful Garden State News: Trenton

Trenton resident Frank Roark Jr. died when his Harley collided with a deer. The deer's family seek a full investigation.

written by anthonyrosania, 30 June 2010
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Garden State News: East Brunswick

East Brunswick: Township officials have rejected the charter of the town's 245th kids' soccer team. The Foot Fairies will play in nearby South River.

written by anthonyrosania, 30 June 2010
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Beautiful Garden State News: Scotch Plains

Scotch Plains police reported four arrests and six crimes last week. The reported crimes include jaywalking, criminal dog pooping, and driving with a broken taillight. Scotch Plains is boring.

written by anthonyrosania, 30 June 2010
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Bizarre Movie Recasts, #25

George Hamilton for Harrison Ford, The Empire Strikes Back. "I knew Ford sucked, but I was just too damned lazy to recast."

written by anthonyrosania, 15 June 2010
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BP Exec Jerry Lundegaard to Testify to Congress about Oil leak.

Congressman: I need to know how this happened!
Lundegaard: I'm... I'm not arguing here! I'm cooperating. So there's no need to... we're doin' all we can here. What the Christ.

written by anthonyrosania, 03 June 2010
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BP to Charge Ducks for Stolen Oil.

BP has announced that it will send bills to the ducks and other animals who have stolen oil from their new "Oil Floatilla" in the Gulf of Mexico. "Look at that one over there; its napping in our oil!"

written by anthonyrosania, 03 June 2010
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Bizarre Movie Recasts, #34

Selena Gomez instead of Thora Birch, American Beauty: "Well, we needed the topless scene, and Selena was, like, 4 when we filmed it. Thora was 7, so it was Ok."

written by anthonyrosania, 16 June 2010
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Angels' 1B Morales breaks leg while celebrating game winning grand slam.

It is only a walk-off grand slam if you can actually WALK OFF.

written by anthonyrosania, 01 June 2010
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Rare Tweets Discovered From 1979 Part 17

December 2 - @aplusk Happy first birthday, Ashton. I didn't know you used Twitter! Don't overuse it, OK?

written by anthonyrosania, 06 June 2010
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Rare Tweets Discovered From 1979 Part 21

August 24 - Future HOFer Ricky Bell and the Tampa Bay Bucs will WIN THE SUPER BOWL THIS YEAR!!!

written by anthonyrosania, 06 June 2010
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Rare Tweets Discovered From 1979 Part 27

November 4 - 5 Commies were just killed by the KKK at a "death to the Klan rally" That obviously backfired.

written by anthonyrosania, 06 June 2010
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Garden State News: Maple Shade

Maple Shade: The body found in the town's Maplewood Apartments caused property owners to change the name of the complex. "Maplewood is for murderers, but Park Crossing is for Families," they said.

written by anthonyrosania, 29 June 2010
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Amazing! Tweets discovered from 1876, part 5

August 19 - Jesse James almost killed in Minnesota. I heard he was with a woman with tattoos on her face.

written by anthonyrosania, 06 June 2010
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Beautiful Garden State News: Jersey City

Jersey City became the biggest city in New Jersey to cancel its 2010 display, announcing on June 2 that they expect enough gunfire from residents to make up for it.

written by anthonyrosania, 29 June 2010
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Amazing! Tweets discovered from 1876, part 7

November 4 - #19thCenturyRacism General Mackenzie has killed Chief Dull Knife at the Powder River. These Indians! We give them a good price on Manhattan; what else do they want?

written by anthonyrosania, 06 June 2010
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Amazing! Tweets discovered from 1876, part 10

June 25 - Just heard about George Custer dying in battle at Little Bighorn, where he stood for the last time. Custer's Last Stand... Hey, that's catchy!

written by anthonyrosania, 06 June 2010
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Amazing! Tweets discovered from 1876, part 11

September 11 - In Chicago, wearing my new Smith and Wesson shootin' iron on my hip. Can you imagine if that ever became illegal?

written by anthonyrosania, 06 June 2010
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Beautiful Garden State News: East Orange

East Orange: The city won the "Sh-ttiest City Named After A Fruit" contest held in NYC, their 24th win in a row.

written by anthonyrosania, 30 June 2010
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Bizarre Movie Recasts, #12

A sack of potatoes instead of Keanu Reeves, The Matrix. "Who would've noticed the difference."

written by anthonyrosania, 15 June 2010
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Beautiful Garden State News: Clifton

Clifton: Clifton's ClassLink is pleased to announce a major new release of an easy to use, affordable, and comprehensive. . . oh, who cares.

written by anthonyrosania, 30 June 2010
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Quasi Yogi Berraism (#2)

"Don't count your chickens before they hatch unless they've already hatched in which case what's the point?"

written by Abel Rodriguez, 07 June 2010
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Bizarre Movie Recasts, #18

Wesley Snipes instead of Samuel L. Jackson, Pulp Fiction. "Look, I already cast Travolta to meet my 'one has-been a movie' quota.

written by anthonyrosania, 15 June 2010
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Brown Was Absent from Ex-Chancellors Meeting

When George Osborne invited former chancellors to lunch to offer words of wisdom, ex-Chancellor and ex-Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, was noticeably absent. Apparently he had no wisdom to give.

written by IN SEINE, 20 June 2010
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Rare Tweets Discovered From 1979 Part 36

December 3 - Got general admission tix for The Who at Riverfront! I'm gonna stampede to the front when I get there!!

written by anthonyrosania, 06 June 2010
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Amazing! Tweets discovered from 1876, part 8

October 13 - Construction of Spandau Prison is completed. Hope they make a ballet of it.

written by anthonyrosania, 06 June 2010
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Why my SCRAM bracelet went off...

I didn't drink booze, I ------ a drunk guy.

written by anthonyrosania, 28 June 2010
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Beautiful Garden State News: Clifton

Clifton: Clifton's ClassLink is pleased to announce a major new release of an easy to use, affordable, and comprehensive. . . oh, who cares.

written by anthonyrosania, 30 June 2010
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Snippet-worthy International news, Benin.

Realizing no one ever heard of them, Benin has changed it's Tourism slogan. Listen for new radio ads with the motto "Benin. Come for the unregulated sex trade, stay for the UN Funded AIDS hospices."

written by anthonyrosania, 26 June 2010
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Ex-Wife of Gary Coleman fulfills Every Woman's Fantasy.

Shannon Price, ex-wife of Cary Coleman, lied about her marital status when she demanded Coleman be removed from Life Support. Since then, every divorced man on life support has hired private security

written by anthonyrosania, 03 June 2010
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Spencer Pratt to Reporters: Ketchup, Salt or Pepper?

Spencer Pratt when asked to comment on his breakup with plastic-faced psycho babe Heidi, "I'll be just fine. Now, did you want to Super Size your meal?"

written by anthonyrosania, 03 June 2010
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One Star Bum Bandit Strikes Again

People laugh. Nobody bothers. Big anticlimax.

written by Skoob1999, 15 June 2010
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News From Other Countries: Chad

Chad: The State Department warns U.S. citizens avoid all travel to Chad/Central African Republic area, citing violence, rebel forces, and because Chad is such a gay name for a nation.

written by anthonyrosania, 29 June 2010
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2nd
86
3rd
112
4th
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5th
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6th
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7th
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8th
81
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69
10th
87
11th
89
12th
72
13th
149
14th
96
15th
118
16th
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17th
105
18th
93
19th
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20th
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