Order by:
Rating:

Grateful But Not That Grateful

One of the female journalists freed from North Korea said she's surprised that former President Clinton has repeatedly called to check up on her. Today she got out a restraining order.

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

Something Just Wrong About That!

The new unemployment figures are bad. Millions of people are out of work, yet the CEO of British Petroleum not only manages to keep his job, but go yachting.

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

So What ARE They Doing?

Joe Biden got out of jury duty as did Obama last year. But no word yet about getting us out of Afghanistan. Or getting the oil to stop leaking for that matter.

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

They're Here More Than Obama

The ghost of Abraham Lincoln at the White House today told reporters that he has had it "Just About up to here" with the Salahis.

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

West Finally Arrested

Kanye West was arrested today by security guards after grabbing the mike from the President, who was changing Generals, to inform everyone about the great video of Beyonce.

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

Deja View

President Clinton flew all the way to North Korea under the cover of night to rescue 2 beautiful women late last year. However, Hillary let slip today that he had used that very excuse 3 times before!

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

Jackson Murdered?

LaToya Jackson has claimed her brother Michael was murdered because he was "worth so much more dead than alive". "Want to buy a calendar?"

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

Full Length Veil

President Obama having a hard time explaining to republicans & some democrats why he insists that Michelle start wearing a full length veil. "She's practicing for our visiting several countries soon.

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

Germany vill Blitzkrieg England vith Messerschmits und Mein Kampf!

Germany are taking Sunday's titanic clash deadly serious, they've invaded Holland and reached the North Sea and if it's a penalty shoot-out they will release V2 bombs disguised as Adidas balls!

written by Jaggedone, 24 June 2010
Rating:

Original Star Trek #4

Overheard at the recent "Original Star Trek" Convention in Metropolis, which allowed liquor: "Ooo I'm off ta see Mrs. Scotty oot tha hotel, Captain. She's gonna blow!"

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

Original Star Trek #3

Overheard at the recent "Original Star Trek" Convention in Metropolis, which allowed liquor: "It's those tribbles, Captain! They're crawling all over my body!"

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

Original Star Trek #2

Overheard at the recent "Original Star Trek" Convention in Metropolis, which allowed liquor: "Hey Drinks! Everyone set their brains on 'Stun'!"

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

Original Star Trek

Overheard at the recent "Original Star Trek" Convention in Metropolis, which allowed liquor: "Where's Captain Pike?" "He's somewhere with Sulu."

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

Sure Signs That This Is The End #24

Sure Signs That This Is The End: Jon Gosselin showing everyone his 12-inch whopper!

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

Sure Signs That This Is The End #23

Sure Signs That This Is The End: Television commercials become so low you can barely hear them.

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

Sure Signs That This Is The End #22

Sure Signs That This Is The End: All of a sudden every dog in the world runs under a car or building!

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

Sure Signs That This Is The End #21

Sure Signs That This Is The End: Rush Limbaugh leaves home, career, new wife and becomes a monk at The Abbey At Gethsemane, taking a vow of silence.

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

Next on Jerry Springer: Women Who Want to Date Joran van der Sloot

Since Van der Sloot has been jailed, he's gotten hundreds of marriage proposals from women all over the world. Must be his "killer" looks.

written by Charpa93, 24 June 2010
Rating:

Picasso Painting: $52 Million

Picasso Blue Period work sells for $52 million. Auctioner says that's a lot of money for a white canvas with a blue dot.

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

Sure Signs That This Is The End #20

Sure Signs That This Is The End: Richard Simmons? Big as a house and crying his eyes out!

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

Sure Signs That This Is The End #19

Sure Signs That This Is The End: Warren Beatty avoiding mirrors!

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

Sure Signs That This Is The End #18

Sure Signs That This Is The End: Abe Vigoda, Betty White finally die. Really.

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

Sure Signs That This Is The End #17

Sure Signs That This Is The End: Lindsay Lohan, Miley Cyrus, Britney and Paris Hilton wearing veils.

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

Sure Signs That This Is The End #16

Sure Signs That This Is The End: President Obama balances the budget by cutting social programs!

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

Sure Signs That This Is The End #15

Sure Signs That This Is The End: Cubs Sweep Yankees In Four Straight for World Series Championship!

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

New General In Afghanistan

Nancy Pelosi and Al Gore look happy about Obama changing generals in mid East. Or, maybe they look angry? Puzzled?

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

Government Minister Clarifies Future Plans

Lord Uppercrust Uppingham, explained: " The intentions of the government are that of calculated benevolence, with miscellaneously incorporated safeguards against generosity.

written by Inchcock, 24 June 2010
Rating:

Sex Session Fatal

British man dies after sadistic sex session with 'Europe's most perverted dominatrix', Himmler's Whore!

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

Beskenbauer Taunts Britain

German legend Beckenbauer taunts 'stupid' England as millions gear up for another nerve-shredding clash with old enemy. "They may win but they won't be walking much", states Brit Coach.

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

Let Them Eat Rabbit Food, Rabbits

After the Budget, the bloodbath: Four in ten courts to close, police stations axed and "boiled cabbage Tuesdays" as part of Osborne's savage budget cuts.

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

Let Them Eat Cabbages

After the Budget, the bloodbath: Four in ten courts to close, police stations axed and "boiled cabbage Tuesdays" as part of Osborne's savage budget cuts.

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

Let Them Wear Long-Handles!

'Cold and hungry? Wear long underwear and eat vegetables': Tory MP sparks outrage with advice on how to survive Osborne's Budget cuts.

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

Miley's New Image

Miley Cyrus asserts her independence with new CD, sexy poses, picture of bum on cover.

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

No Mickey D Toys?

Group will sue McDonald's over Happy Meal toys. McDonald's responds with "But there goes your nutrition!

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

2030 New York!

NY exhibit imagines Utopian, green cities in 2030. A free range chicken in every pot, a hybrid car in every garage.

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

Bumblebee Endangered

Group seeks endangered listing for bumblebee. "They make great canned tuna."

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

Medevdev Visits

White House points to success as Medvedev visits, bringing great Russian vodka. No more Beer Conferences for awhile.

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

New School Rules

Mass. school district under fire for condom policy. After 21 pregnancies, male students must wear condoms at all times!

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

We Were Too Busy

Cap back after robot nudge stalls oil collection, BP payouts.

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

That WWII Kiss!

WWII nurse in iconic Times Square kissing photo dies of Mononucleosis.

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

New Afghanistan Leader

McChrystal out; Petraeus picked for Afghanistan but McChrystal promised first shot at Iran.

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

Nkoreans Usual Ass*****

North Korea threatens more punishment for American forced to laugh at cartoons for days.

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

Not Much Headway

AP check: Shoddy disposal work mars oil cleanup as truck loads of picked up oil from beach in Pensacola dumped on Panama Beach & Vice Versa!

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

Rat Tests #3

Fear-eliminating Drug Works in Rats. Also, in politicians.

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

Have We Met?

Have we met before? Women and gay men most apt to know. heterosexuals usually were never looking at her face.

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

French Strike

French strike over plans to raise retirement age. Authorities: For each month you strike, a month will be added to retirement age!

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

Rat Tests #2

Fear-eliminating Drug Works in Rats! The last recorded message on recorder after bodies found.

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

Rat Testing

Fear-eliminating Drug Works in Rats, reports scientists as he flees building.

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

"Here's How It's Gonna Be!"

White House points to success as Medvedev visits to lecture Obama, Biden.

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

Ehhibit Seen Through Rose Colored Glasses

NY exhibit imagines utopian, green cities in 2030. People throwing roses up and down 42nd street.

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

Bin Laden Hunter Home

Bin Laden hunter arrives back in Colorado. Hates capture and Release Policy in Afghanistan.

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

"The Sky Is Apalling!"

Mass. school district under fire for condom policy as many blowing them up with helium and floating them across town.

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

The Ocean Is Mad

Robot nudge foils Gulf oil collection for a day. Lightning strikes two other rigs. White whale attacks another.

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

Queen Pays Visit

Queen makes first visit to Wimbledon in 33 years. "Knew it was around here somewhere."

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

"Do You Have Prince Al"..Click!

Monaco's Prince Albert bids adieu to the can, bachelorhood!

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

Certainly Needs Help

Shades of Blagojevich come through in FBI tapes. One has him talking to demons and former president Nixon, Marley's ghost.

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

Practice Makes Perfect

Kagan: From a mock Supreme Court to the real thing. After a month of practice, now to face the real thing.

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

Crab Recall?

Over 2 million crabs recalled amid safety concerns. Sorry, that should have been "cribs".

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

Spill Hurts Obama

Spill hurts Obama rating as storm season starts. "Stormy Weather" being sung by Limbaugh.

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

That Famous Kiss

WWII Irish nurse in iconic Times Square kissing photo kisses the Blarney Stone at 83.

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

He's A Natural

McChrystal out; Petraeus picked for Afghanistan. McChrystal to do commercials for McDonalds, Krystal.

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

Kim "As Is" Also

$75M mansion near Orlando selling 'as is'. Kim of North Korea asks if any of the Duck family lived there?

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

Shoddy Disposal Work

AP check: Shoddy disposal work mars oil cleanup. "Workers ask what different can it make? Millions of gallons still on the way."

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

Obama Changing Generals, Nicknames

Relief greets Obama pick for new war commander. From General Betrayus, to General Prayforus in different administrations.

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

Vuvuzela blamed for BP Oil Leak

BP Chief Executive Tony Hayward has sensationally blamed a Vuvuzela for the Gulf Of Mexico disaster. The claim comes after John Terry was cleared of any involvement just hours before.

written by JackLenny, 24 June 2010
Rating:

Facebook make changes to Relationship Status

Facebook is to replace the relationship status 'Single' with the phrase 'Ridin Solo' in August.

written by JackLenny, 24 June 2010
Rating:

Hacker's Hack

Hackers have broken into you e-mails with your girlfriend. We don't remember you ever playing for the Yankees.

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

One Werewolf Was Gay

Taylor Lautner says that one of the werewolves in Twilight was gay. "If you listen closely to the howls, you'll hear a bowsy, wowsy!"

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

Youth Day In Haiti

Yesterday was "Youth Day" in Haiti so all the kids had their work hours for Nike cut to 15!

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

Arizona Illegal Immigrant Law

Now that Arizona has passed it's strict new immigration bill, the first week they caught a total of 350 illegals coming in and seized all four vans.

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

New Point Man

BP names new point man on disaster! He will go by the name of Mr. Oil Spill.

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

General McChrystal Out!

General McChrystal meets with Obama as possible replacements lined up to be the next to resign.

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

Defending Gay Rights

Clinton pledge to defend gay rights critized by gays on the left!

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

Sure Signs That This Is The End #14

The number one song for the past six months is Randy Newman's "Let's Drop The Big One Now!"

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

Sure Signs That This Is The End #13

Pabst Beer cans now have Red Ribbons on each can!

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

Sure Signs That This Is The End #12

The President interrupts the Super Bowl in overtime to announce that there's really nothing for you to worry about"...but won't say about what!

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

Sure Signs That This Is The End #11

The winner of the 2011 Nobel Peace Prize? North Korea's Own Kim!

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

Sure Signs That This Is The End #10

Cockroaches begin to come out in the daytime..and laugh at you.

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

Sure Signs That This Is The End #9

"Suddenly, Alex Hawkin's voice begins sounding like Andy Griffith."

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
Rating:

Sure Signs That This Is The End #8

France declares all-out war on Liechtenstein....and wins!

written by Bureau, 24 June 2010
« May 2010 June 2010 Jul 2010 »
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun
 
1st
90
2nd
86
3rd
112
4th
108
5th
79
6th
143
7th
106
8th
81
9th
69
10th
87
11th
89
12th
72
13th
149
14th
96
15th
118
16th
95
17th
105
18th
93
19th
71
20th
89
21st
81
22nd
93
23rd
143
24th
80
25th
162
26th
149
27th
121
28th
122
29th
154
30th
121
 

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