Order by:
Rating:

Expect The Unexpected

The state of Oregon selected for the first national Russian Roulette Championship, live on FOX with Geraldo Rivera.

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

But Missed Him

Old guy in pickup going 45MPH and left turn signal on causes 3,000 car pileup during LA rush hour.

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Piss Water Recyling Comes In Second

Returning astronauts say the worst thing about the space station is going outside to smoke.

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Got To Be Careful

Time capsule accidentally placed inside a time machine sends traveler into black hole.

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Date & Partner

Clinton library missing over 20,000 items, most of them labeled used condoms.

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

More Code?

Small Happy Face discovered within a masterpiece painting by Da Vinci!

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

New CPR Technique Uses Flatulence to Relieve Constipation

The International Red Cross has authorized the use of flatulence to take care of constipation. Rather than mouth to mouth,the technique involves ass to mouth,whereby gas pressure pushes from the top.

written by Mike Monpas, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Spoof To Launch Own Social Networking Site

Fleet Street sources, in London, have uncovered plans that the Spoof News is to launch its own social networking site. Farcebook is due on line by 1st July 2010 following successful trials in the US.

written by iscrivener, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Amazing! Tweets discovered from 1876, part 12

October 31 - The Transcontinental arrived in San Francisco from New York City. Coast to Coast in 3 1/2 days; there's a record that'll never be broken.

written by anthonyrosania, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Amazing! Tweets discovered from 1876, part 11

September 11 - In Chicago, wearing my new Smith and Wesson shootin' iron on my hip. Can you imagine if that ever became illegal?

written by anthonyrosania, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Amazing! Tweets discovered from 1876, part 10

June 25 - Just heard about George Custer dying in battle at Little Bighorn, where he stood for the last time. Custer's Last Stand... Hey, that's catchy!

written by anthonyrosania, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Amazing! Tweets discovered from 1876, part 9

October 13 - Construction of Spandau Prison is completed. Hope they make a ballet of it.

written by anthonyrosania, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Amazing! Tweets discovered from 1876, part 8

October 13 - Construction of Spandau Prison is completed. Hope they make a ballet of it.

written by anthonyrosania, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Amazing! Tweets discovered from 1876, part 7

November 4 - #19thCenturyRacism General Mackenzie has killed Chief Dull Knife at the Powder River. These Indians! We give them a good price on Manhattan; what else do they want?

written by anthonyrosania, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Amazing! Tweets discovered from 1876, part 6

August 20 - Have u heard Jesse James is quitting his life of crime. I think he is starting an axe company. Its called West Coast Choppers.

written by anthonyrosania, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Where's the "off" button?

Robert Gates annoys national intelligence director nominee James Clapper by clapping twice, saying "Clap on!" clapping again, saying "Clap off!" Clapper: If you don't stop, I'll punch your lights out!

written by The San Francisco Onion, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Amazing! Tweets discovered from 1876, part 5

August 19 - Jesse James almost killed in Minnesota. I heard he was with a woman with tattoos on her face.

written by anthonyrosania, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Amazing! Tweets discovered from 1876, part 4

August 12 - What an age of technology! Edison has invented the mimeograph. I heard the paper smells really good.

written by anthonyrosania, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Amazing! Tweets discovered from 1876, part 3

May 11 - Quite excited about upcoming Base Ball season. Go Hartford Dark Blues! Beat the Boston Red Stockings!

written by anthonyrosania, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Police ID Plea

Scottish police want to help identify a spoof news writer who absconded from a mental health ward in Inverness yesterday. Anyone with information should contact Strathclyde Police.
Sshhhh - It's me!

written by iscrivener, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Amazing! Tweets discovered from 1876, part 2

May 10 - Just back from Centennial Expo in Phila. Saw a product called "ketchup" that'll never catch on.

written by anthonyrosania, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Rare Tweets Discovered From 1876, Part 2

March 13 - #whoneedsaphone Alexander Bell has sent two successful telephone messages. 1, "Watson come here" and 2 "What time do you stop delivering?"

written by anthonyrosania, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Rare Tweets Discovered From 187, Part 1

March 10 - That man Bell has invented what he calls a "telephone." Who would waste their time using someā€¦ machine to interact with others?

written by anthonyrosania, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Why English Killer Flipped

UK police have revealed, after painstakingly scanning computer hard drives, that Derrick Bird went on his killing spree because of his grudge against capitalism.

written by iscrivener, 06 June 2010
Rating:

The Blackwater Horizon State

Fearing decline in tourism, Mississippi governor decides to market Mississippi as offering America's best views of tar balls, top quality blackened wildlife for footage to post on EweTube.

written by The San Francisco Onion, 06 June 2010
Rating:

We lost our ruby slippers

Two New Jersey men arrested at NYC airport allegedly on their way to join jihad in Somalia had already tried to get into Iraq. The two men plea, "It's just that we're desperate to escape New Jersey!"

written by The San Francisco Onion, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Dollar Down!

Dollar down again, this time against the food stamps!

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Lost Suitcase Somewhere

American Airlines apologizes to terrorist after losing his suitcase, "but he keeps screaming about our losing his 'Virgins!"

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Parrots, Buzzards Drop From Sky

Parrots getting drunk in Australia and falling from the sky. There was a similar incident in US in 1940's when Buzzards dropped from drinking "That Good Old Mountain Dew!"

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Teachers Take 35% Pay Cut

The National Education Association (NEA) has reluctantly agreed a pay cut for their teaching members. UK unions are set to follow suit. Source - New York Times 06/06

written by iscrivener, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Classics Updated For Boomers #2

Featuring Foreigner: Your Feet Are As Cold As Ice!

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Classics Updated For Boomers

Elvis Presley: Fart-Breaks That Smell (You'll Be So Lonely)

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Imelda Marcos

Imelda Marcos wins seat in the congress. Her supporters say it was a shoe-in.

written by Hootsman, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Rare Tweets Discovered From 1979 Part 17

December 2 - @aplusk Happy first birthday, Ashton. I didn't know you used Twitter! Don't overuse it, OK?

written by anthonyrosania, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Rare Tweets Discovered From 1979 Part 18

November 5: @mrskutcher Good luck on your General Hospital audition, Demi. BTW, isn't Kutcher the name of that 1 year old you babysit? WEIRD!

written by anthonyrosania, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Schools Get Credit

Schools around the nation get credit for the demise of the Swine Flu outbreak after getting rid of chauvinist pig, silly old sow instructors.

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Rare Tweets Discovered From 1979 Part 39

November 17 - This month's Playboy Playmate had her crotch completely shaved. Ewwww! I can't imagine that look will catch on.

written by anthonyrosania, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Rare Tweets Discovered From 1979 Part 38

August 12 - One thing the gas crisis has proven: The days of driving trucks for basic transportation are over forever!

written by anthonyrosania, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Rare Tweets Discovered From 1979 Part 35

July 4 - The odd even license plate gas-buying thing is pissing me off! I had to switch the plate from my Ambassador to my Continental just to get gas for work!

written by anthonyrosania, 06 June 2010
Rating:

California Flips

Cash-Strapped California to Build $1M 'Fish Ladder', another $1 million for dehydrated water, egg stretchers!

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Rare Tweets Discovered From 1979 Part 37

December 10- #bestmovieever Star Trek The Motion Picture tonight at 8! Shatner for Best Actor!!

written by anthonyrosania, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Rare Tweets Discovered From 1979 Part 36

December 3 - Got general admission tix for The Who at Riverfront! I'm gonna stampede to the front when I get there!!

written by anthonyrosania, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Rare Tweets Discovered From 1979 Part 36

December 3 - Got general admission tix for The Who at Riverfront! I'm gonna stampede to the front when I get there!!

written by anthonyrosania, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Rare Tweets Discovered From 1979 Part 35

June 15 - Jesus CHRIST! These gas prices are insane! Who the hell is EVER going to pay $1.00 for a gallon of gas?

written by anthonyrosania, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Making It Worse

White House press icon Helen Thomas, 89, apologizes for saying Jews should 'get out of Palestine'. "It was a senior moment. Look at old Sir Paul McCartney's idiotic remarks last week."

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Helen Thomas Explains Remark

White House press icon Helen Thomas, 89, apologizes for saying Jews should 'get out of Palestine'. "It was a senior moment. I meant the Philistines, of course."


written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

"That Explains A Few Things"

Milwaukee woman says she didn't know her husband had Alzheimer's Disease for three years now because he seldom stayed sober long.

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Rare Tweets Discovered From 1979 Part 34

June 30 - New channel on cable called ESPN started. It sux.

written by anthonyrosania, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Rare Tweets Discovered From 1979 Part 33

May 11 - Just saw Tennessee congressman Al Gore on with Cronkite. Someday this guy will win a Presidential election!

written by anthonyrosania, 06 June 2010
Rating:

"Good Morning Mrs. Whoooaaa!"

Atlanta Nursing Home Director says he will attempt to find who placed Groucho masks on patients last night.

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Rare Tweets Discovered From 1979 Part 32

June 10 - Arnold from Diff'rent Strokes is a great actor! He'll win an Oscar by 1985. Here's to a long and happy life!

written by anthonyrosania, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Rare Tweets Discovered From 1979 Part 31

September 11 - They cancelled Wonder Woman. I am so depressed. Have to resort to fapping to Petticoat Junction reruns.

written by anthonyrosania, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Rare Tweets Discovered From 1979 Part 30

April 20 - LOL! President Carter got attacked by a swamp rabbit! Peanut eating dickhead. ANDERSON/LUCEY IN '80!!

written by anthonyrosania, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Women Weren't Sexy

Soap Opera spinoff "The Young & The Assless" pulled after only one season.

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Rare Tweets Discovered From 1979 Part 29

November 22 - Who cares about Iran's threats? What could some Muslim extremists in the Middle East possibly do to us in the USA?

written by anthonyrosania, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Rare Tweets Discovered From 1979 Part 28

October 4 - F__K the Ayatollah! We have a great ally in Saddam Hussein and Iraq. He'll smack Iran back into shape.

written by anthonyrosania, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Rare Tweets Discovered From 1979 Part 27

November 4 - 5 Commies were just killed by the KKK at a "death to the Klan rally" That obviously backfired.

written by anthonyrosania, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Rare Tweets Discovered From 1979 Part 26

October 6 - Going to see Pope John Paul II at Yankee Stadium. It's not like the Yankees are using it in October like last year #Nettlessucks.

written by anthonyrosania, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Rare Tweets Discovered From 1979 Part 25

October 4 - Th Cooks had their baby! Her name is Rachael Leigh, and her forehead is HUGE! J/K!

written by anthonyrosania, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Rare Tweets Discovered From 1979 Part 24

August 30 - Just saw Rocky 2! So terrible! I doubt they'll make another one after that!

written by anthonyrosania, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Rare Tweets Discovered From 1979 Part 23

December 22 - My friends want to go see Alien, but it looks kinda stupid. Rather see a timeless classic like Captain America.

written by anthonyrosania, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Rare Tweets Discovered From 1979 Part 22

August 25 - The Facts of Life is on 2nite. What's that hot chick's name? Oh, yeah. Mrs. Garrett.

written by anthonyrosania, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Rare Tweets Discovered From 1979 Part 21

August 24 - Future HOFer Ricky Bell and the Tampa Bay Bucs will WIN THE SUPER BOWL THIS YEAR!!!

written by anthonyrosania, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Rare Tweets Discovered From 1979 Part 19

August 10 - That little kid Michael from the Jackson 5 just put out a record. He'll never make it solo.

written by anthonyrosania, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Rare Tweets Discovered From 1979 Part 16

August 9 - #floppytits Going to the protest against nudist beach in Brighton. It'll be closed in a week.

written by anthonyrosania, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Rare Tweets Discovered From 1979 Part 7

February 21 - The Hewitts named their new baby Jennifer Love. She is soooo cute, and kinda has a big chest!

written by anthonyrosania, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Rare Tweets Discovered From 1979-6


January 20 - The Shah of Iran just got overthrown. Hope that doesn't destabilize the Middle East.

written by anthonyrosania, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Rare Tweets Discovered From 1979 Part 8

February 27 - New Orleans just cancelled Mardi Gras because of police strike. Nothing goes wrong in Louisiana, usually.

written by anthonyrosania, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Rare Tweets Discovered From 1979 Part 10

March 28 - OMG! Some wierd warning lights and buzzers going off at 3 Mile Island. Probably just a test.

written by anthonyrosania, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Rare Tweets Discovered From 1979 Part 9

March 19 - Just watched coverage of Congress on new channel called C-span. Will become most popular station EVER!

written by anthonyrosania, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Rare Tweets Discovered From 1979 Part 15

August 2 - Thurman Munson is DEAD??? I can't believe it. We'll win the World Series for him this year.

written by anthonyrosania, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Rare Tweets Discovered From 1979 Part 14

July 2 - Just got one of those cool Susan B. Anthony dollars. They will make dollar bills useless!!

written by anthonyrosania, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Rare Tweets Discovered From 1979 Part 11

April 17 - 100 kids were killed in Africa for protesting against compulsory school uniforms. Is being dead better?

written by anthonyrosania, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Rare Tweets Discovered From 1979 Part 13

January 26 - What's the name of the show with the hillbillies who drive the orange Charger? That show rules!

written by anthonyrosania, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Rare Tweets Discovered From 1979 Part 12

April 19 - Just got caught five-finger discounting at Woolworth's. Hope they go out of business!

written by anthonyrosania, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Tweets From 1979-5


January 19 - This guy Clinton who just became Governor of Arkansas seems OK, but his wife is f'n FOXY #hillaryishot!!!!

written by anthonyrosania, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Tweets From 1979-4

February 3 - #nosecandy Just met Prescott Bush's grandson George at a party. He did an eight-ball all by himself! WTF??

written by anthonyrosania, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Tweets From 1979-3


February 1 - News says Sid Vicious is in critical condition from OD. Does he do drugs?

written by anthonyrosania, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Tweets From 1979-2

February 7 - Supertrain is on channel 6 tonight! That show will be on for 25 years!

written by anthonyrosania, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Tweets From 1979-1

January 8 - Some ship named Betelgeuse blew up in Ireland. Betelgeuse- cool name for a movie, maybe?

written by anthonyrosania, 06 June 2010
Rating:

May Apply Again Next Year

After careful inspection, College of Cardinals loses it's accreditation!

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Cereal Killer

FDA orders Kelloggs cereal to pull it's new variety "Nuts & Bolts Raisin Bran" from the shelves.

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Tell Customers To Taper Off!

FDA orders Captain Crunch cereal to pull it's new variety "Captain Cocaine" from the shelves.

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Here's Your Magazine, Perfume & Bill! Vote For Me!

Slow economy causes J. Witnesses, Avon, Cable salespeople, local political candidates to combine forces. Lay off thousands.

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Been On Their Honeymoon

Martian Rover suddenly comes back on, wearing lipstick and a blond wig, standing beside Titan Rover.

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Restaurant Sued

NYC Restaurant sued by customers after finding both toads and stools in their Toadstool Soup!

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Cookbook Not Selling

Emeril Lagasse and Jamie Oliver new cookbook, "Cooking Naked Together At Emerils" not selling well.

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Finally She's Mute

Local Woman wins foul-mouthing husband contest, after neighbors send in recordings of Saturday nights. "I don't know what to say?" "Good!"

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Brit fav rockband is not the Rolling Stones so Keith Richards hung himself!

The Rolling Stones were not even mentioned as one of Britains fav rockbands so super "Junk and Alcopop" Keith Richards decided to hang himself, he was last seen dangling from a coconut tree!

written by Jaggedone, 06 June 2010
Rating:

"No, WE Are More Peaceful, You Schmuck!"

Meeting of "Citizens For Peace" groups from Israel, PLO ends in big fight.

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Jobs Are Down At Banks

New report says that drive-through sperm banks are more messy than they are worth. Another 1200 'jobs' a week in most areas, gone.

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

After 50 Years!

British authorities to release thousands of records on Identified Flying Objects!

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Super Mouse

Scientist says that only one gene change could turn a mouse into a super mouse. "And when we find it, Pinky, I will rule the world!

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Too-Many Hyphens

New Cambridge-English Dictionary says there are too-many words using hyphens. Removes most!

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Reality Show Canceled

The reality show, "New Guinea Has Talented Cannibals & Recipes" canceled.

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Ex PM in new role

Gordon Brown, former Prime Minister of UK, has been chosen to appear as a central tunnel support on the Underground Northern Line. Brown was beside himself with elation when told by Basil Brush. Grrr!

written by whatinthe world, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Sting Not Happy

Singer "Sting" angry after being blamed for Fergy's embarrassment!

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

"But You Looked Great Last Night!"

Science proves beer goggles really do exist. Will file report just as soon as they sober up.

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

May Be Worst Water Fight Ever!

Three held after ten drown as water fight spirals out of control

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Some Cleaning Up Oil, Cleaning Up Cash Also!

'I was lucky if I made $1,000 a month before the spill. Now BP pay me $1,200 a day': Fishermen make most of Gulf oil disaster, in new BP ads in the US.

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

#35, Your Surgery Is Ready!

'Get ready for pain': Cameron and Clegg issue warning about the scale of spending cuts, as hospitals ready lottery tickets for whom they take in.


written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Drunk & Drive

Drunk sleeps on politician's drive, after reading one of his speeches.

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Drosselmeyer Wins Belmont Stakes

Drosselmeyer pulls upset in Belmont Stakes. Jockey credits horse's ability to stretch neck almost a foot a big plus.

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Porn Back For Some

Some blocked websites now accessible in China, for a special surcharge.

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Mom Finds Kids

Calif. mom finds missing children using Facebook. "They were up in the attic, using our old computer!"

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Another Jupitor Strike!

Amateur astronomer spots another Jupiter strike. Believe that missiles are being launched by it's moon, Titan.

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Works The First Time

Millionaire's test rocket reaches orbit on 1st try. Many North Koreans ask why their attempts always land in Pacific Ocean!

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Kim Mocks Gates

Gates prods China on NKorea, military ties to US as NKorea's Kim, standing behind Chinese leaders, places thumbs in ears waving fingers, sticking out tongue.

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Last Man/Woman Standing

Fight ahead for Obama's intelligence chief choice. "Might Makes Right!", states the President.

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Voters Angry Alright

Primaries from Calif. to SC measure voter anger as half a dozen polling stations are burned to the ground.

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

We Had A Swine Flu Outbreak!

Karzai orders review of Afghan Taliban detentions, IF any of them are still alive.

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Sets A New Record!

New world record for longest pecker game! I'm sorry, that should be, longest poker game.

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Porn Actor Dead

Porn actor sought in slaying dies in hillside fall after stepping on penis while fleeing from authorities.

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Hey, We're 10% There!

Gulf containment cap closely watched in 2nd day as it continues to keep a tithe of the oil being spilled.

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

BP Ads Not Working

Apologetic BP ads, "We all screw up sooner or later" get criticism, not sympathy.

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Cheadle Acting Goodwill Ambassador

Actor Don Cheadle named goodwill ambassador for UN. "I think he will be the ideal man to play the role", says Obama.

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

"Now Who's This?"

Spike TV: Sandra Bullock makes surprise appearance, as she mixes up date she was supposed to be on show.

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

BP Chief Won't Resign

BP chief, Tony Hayward, won't quit over Gulf of Mexico spill even after being hit by tar balls on three occasions.

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Swiss To Hand Over Secret Accounts!

Crunch vote looms for Swiss-US deal in UBS tax row. Tax cheats by the thousands leaving the United States. Several newly opened Senate, House vacancies.

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Bored US Porn star goes out with a massive "STIFF"

A bored US porn star searching for the ultimate "cum shot" has jumped off a cliff, he had a massive "stiff" and ended up as a "stiff", what a way to go! (or cum)

written by Jaggedone, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Koreas Still Bickering

NKorea threatens SKorea for taking it to UN, not recognizing KimJo as a god!

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

4-Day School Week #2

4-day school weeks gain popularity across US. Home schoolers object!

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

4-Day School Week?

4-day school weeks gain popularity across US. Or even 3 days, with more hours per day, more homework, fewer teachers with high salaries.

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Make It Easier

4-day school weeks gain popularity across US. Football, basketball could be your Major.

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

New Guinness Record

New world record for longest poker game. "If it had been strip poker, I'd be down to my bones", states Phil Lack.

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

McCain Needs To Hold On

McCain in fierce fight to hold onto Arizona seat, after busting his ass yesterday.

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Calming The Enemy

Gates courts put-out Azerbaijan, a key Afghan hub. "He (leader) needs a good woman to settle him down. Get rid of frustrations. Maybe, a bad woman?"

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Israel attack ghost ship, Mary Celeste, off the coast of Gaza!

Israel attempt to cover up an attack on the Mary Celeste and the loss of 50 marines, they told the world, "it was very misty but we are sure the Hamas flag was flying and Khomeni was on board too"

written by Jaggedone, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Ed Westwick Leaves Girlfriend

Actor Ed Westwick has left girlfriend, Jessica Szohr, for the second time in 3 months. He is believed to have left her for co-star and on-screen girlfriend, Leighton Meester whom he is "in love" with.

written by Julia Bella, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Richard Gere Announces New Movie

"The Gerbil Whisperer" to be in theatres by Christmas.

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Say What?

President Obama still insists that he will end the "Don't ask, don't tell" policy concerning gays in the military. But when he was asked when, he wouldn't tell us.

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Scientists Throwing Shoes

President Obama orders pro global warming, anti global warming scientists to stop bickering & try working together. "I'm calling for a six month cooling off period!"

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Wedgie-Proof Shorts

Nerd hero invents wedgie-proof shorts. Now working on how to fake drinking water from commode.

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Clinton E-Mails Found

Michelle's Mother accidentally finds Bill Clinton emails on computer found in basement. 98% penis enhancement ads.

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

A-Rod Caught

Yankee's Alex Rodriguez caught using steroids, stealing bases!

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

The Da Vinci Told

Apprehended bank robber tells police that he was told to rob the bank by one of Da Vinci's paintings. "It's in code!"

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Election Delays!

Obama officially puts off November elections until 2011.
"Too much going on in the world to change at this time."

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Marvel Cancels Comic #42

Marvel Comics, having been bought out by Disney, has decided to end it's superhero comic "Captain Cock" series after the one issue.

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Marvel Cancels Comic #41

Marvel Comics, having been bought out by Disney, has decided to end it's superhero comic "Flippy The Fruit Fly" series after the one issue.

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Marvel Cancels Comic #40

Marvel Comics, having been bought out by Disney, has decided to end it's superhero comic "The Donkey Devil" series after the one issue.

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Marvel Cancels Comic #39

Marvel Comics, having been bought out by Disney, has decided to end it's superhero comic "The Blue Bottle Fly" series after the one issue.

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Marvel Cancels Comic #38

Marvel Comics, having been bought out by Disney, has decided to end it's superhero comic Platypus Boy" series after the one issue.

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
Rating:

Marvel Cancels Comic #37

Marvel Comics, having been bought out by Disney, has decided to end it's superhero comic "The Pussy Willow" series after the one issue.

written by Bureau, 06 June 2010
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11th
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