Order by:
Rating:

Superstions #9

While an onion cut in half and placed under the bed of a sick person will not draw off fever and poisons, it will draw many curses down on you when patient begins to be able to smell again.

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Superstitutions #8

If your nose itches it does not mean that someone is coming to see you. However if you launch a huge sneeze while a drug lord is showing you some prime powder & blow $25,000 away, you're already dead.

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Superstitutions #7

If a big mirror in the house falls and breaks by itself, someone in the house will not die soon. He'll die immediately if he were standing under the big mirror when it fell.

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Superstitions #6

It is not unlucky to see your own face in a mirror by candlelight. Not unless your mustache catches fire!

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Superstitutions #5

To break a mirror does not necessarily mean seven years of bad luck. What if you don't want people to know that you are a vampire?

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Superstitution #4

It is not bad luck to allow milk to boil over...unless it boils over your privates while you're trying to drink some warm milk to help you get some sleep.

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Superstitions #3

Amber beads, worn as a necklace, cannot protect you against illness or cure colds. Neither does amber liquid running down each side of your mouth and into your beard. But it will keep women/men away.

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

False Superstition #2

Old Squirrel's Tail: An acorn placed at the window will not keep lightning out, especially if it's burned and blackened.

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Just Assumed

False Superstitions: If you find that you have someone else's coat that you got off the coat rack this morning before going to work, it doesn't mean your wife has been unfaithful.

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Real IRA vuvuzelas shipment foiled by Isle of Man police

A vuvuzela shipment bound for the Real IRA (RIRA) was found at Douglas (IOM) by police. Security sources are pleased. The RIRA said "We didn't want them anyway. Sure you can't say vuvuzela in Gaelic."

written by A MCRORY, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Mothman Remembers His Own

Multi-Billionaire John Mothman leaves one million each to over 3,000 millionaires. "I always try to take care of my own.", he stated in a letter to each.

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Obama's Nubers Keep Dropping!

President Obama's approval numbers now down to 43% among US population, 23% on the Gulf and 5% with his mother-in-law.

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

News From Our Fifty States, Edicion Boricua

Hoy Edwin Rodríguez es el primer dirigente puertorriqueño en la historia de las Grandes Ligas. Pero no serán los primer en perder su puesto de trabajo después de una semana.

written by anthonyrosania, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Next World Cup Brought Forward

The next World Cup has been brought forward a year to 2013 after psychic Sylvia Browne predicted that the world will end on New Year's Day, 2014.

written by Darwin, 25 June 2010
Rating:

News From Our Fifty States, BONUS !!

Wyoming: Wyoming has announced their new State motto: "Wyoming; We Don't Wish We Knew How To Quit You."

written by anthonyrosania, 25 June 2010
Rating:

News From Our Fifty States, BONUS !

West Virginia: WV State Officials have changed the State Motto to: "Oklahoma City Has An NBA Team? WTF?"

written by anthonyrosania, 25 June 2010
Rating:

News From Our Fifty States, #50

Virginia: Virginia has changed its motto to: "Virginia, Bedpan of The Mason Dixon."

written by anthonyrosania, 25 June 2010
Rating:

News From Our Fifty States, #49

Vermont: Vermont Yankee nuclear plant officials say two new cracks have been found in a cooling tower. What a cool name, Vermont Yankee!

written by anthonyrosania, 25 June 2010
Rating:

News From Our Fifty States, #48

Washington: President Obama has stated that, after his presidency, he will continue to live in . . . What? Oh, this is for Washington state? What the f-ck ever happened in Washington State?

written by anthonyrosania, 25 June 2010
Rating:

News From Our Fifty States, #47

Wisconsin: Rapper Fat Joe has been "officially cleared" after Wisconsin police investigated an alleged sexual assault. He was later arrested for being Latino in Wisconsin, a misdemeanor.

written by anthonyrosania, 25 June 2010
Rating:

News From Our Fifty States, #46

Texas: texas voted to change its State motto to: "Texas; Unless You're a Kennedy Or a Water Animal in the Gulf, You're Perfectly Safe!

written by anthonyrosania, 25 June 2010
Rating:

News From Our Fifty States, #45

South Dakota: AT&T's purchase of Alltel has cleared the way for the iPhone to be sold in S. Dakota. Coming in 2011: People in South Dakota tired of AT&T's sh-tty coverage.

written by anthonyrosania, 25 June 2010
Rating:

News From Our Fifty States, #44

South Carolina: SC officials have voted to change the State motto to: "South Carolina; Just Like North Carolina, But With Less Jobs, Drinkable Water and More Meth!"

written by anthonyrosania, 25 June 2010
Rating:

News From Our Fifty States, #43

Rhode Island: 4 people were charged 4 with DUI by the Rhode Island State Police Thursday. That was Rhode Island's biggest news story of the WEEK!

written by anthonyrosania, 25 June 2010
Rating:

News From Our Fifty States, #42

Pennsylvania: This writer just learned that PA has changed the laws to allow the concealed carry of a handgun. So, Philly, I'm coming home! Also, some stuff happened in the state. Involving guns.

written by anthonyrosania, 25 June 2010
Rating:

News From Our Fifty States, #41

Oregon: Al Gore was asked about the accusation of a sexual assault in 2006 in Oregon. He said, "Oklahoma City has an NBA team??"

written by anthonyrosania, 25 June 2010
Rating:

News From Our Fifty States, #40

Oklahoma: The Oklahoma City Thunder selected Quincy Pondexter in the NBA Draft. Wait, Oklahoma City has an NBA team?? WTF??

written by anthonyrosania, 25 June 2010
Rating:

News From Our Fifty States, #39

Ohio: A 5-year-old Dayton boy used a cell phone to call 911 after his mother was shot and killed. He then ordered Domino's.

written by anthonyrosania, 25 June 2010
Rating:

News From Our Fifty States, #38

North Dakota: If something happens in North Dakota, and no one is there to witness it, does it make a sound?

written by anthonyrosania, 25 June 2010
Rating:

News From Our Fifty States, #37

North Carolina: NC State Trooper resigned this week after texting "That Smokey the Bear hat looks hot on you" to a co-worker on a state-owned Blackberry. A--hole.

written by anthonyrosania, 25 June 2010
Rating:

News From Our Fifty States, #36

New York: There hasn't been a resignation or indictment of a New York Governor in 244 days, a state record.

written by anthonyrosania, 25 June 2010
Rating:

News From Our Fifty States, #35

New Mexico: In light of the success of Arizona's anti-Mexican laws, New Mexico has outlawed Rice, beans, Malta Goya and minimum wage jobs.

written by anthonyrosania, 25 June 2010
Rating:

May Start Soon As Bridge Repaired

Administration Announcement: As soon as all US bridges repaired, we will ask for a small toll at each.

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Santa Claus Moves

Santa Claus, Mrs. Claus and elves leaving North Pole for the South Pole. There's too many Russian subs up there. Besides, free Viagra at the South Pole!"

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

1,000th Mag Cover!

President Obama stated today that he has just appeared on the cover of his 1,000th magazine edition, not that he's counting, mind you."

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Al Gore Announcement

Al Gore called a press conference today to admit that there is no global warming. "I gotcha! Old 'stiff & humorless' Al Gore GOTCHA!!!"

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Not A Good Start

Fans across the globe are paying tribute to singer Michael Jackson on the first anniversary of his death at the age of 50. "We're here to celebrate Michael Jackson's death", says speaker.

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Vatican Protests

The Vatican has expressed shock at raids, including the "violation" of a cathedral crypt, by Belgian police investigating alleged child sex abuse. "Could have exposed nude child to cameramen."

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

No Paper Bags

Cop fired for putting paper bag on suspect's head. "But he had the hiccups" says officer.

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

G-20 Lockdown

G20 LOCKDOWN: Police state in Toronto as world leaders inside reinforced building discuss being more open to the general public.

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Lower Estimate This Quarter

Government lowers growth estimate for quarter, as penny candy now costs 25 cents.

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Ramada Inn Fasting?

Pregnant women who fast during stay at Ramada Inn 'put babies' health at risk'. I'm sorry, that should be 'during Ramadan'.

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Generation Junk Food!

The junk food generation: British children getting fatter at twice the rate of Americans. "Oh my", states American mother of 220 lb 10-year-old. "They will explode."

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Really Wanted That Watch

Couple arrested outside Walmart for 'trying to sell their baby for $25' before the Blue Light Special ran out.

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Crossbow, Chainsaw Man Arrested

Man with astonishing array of weapons including crossbow and chainsaw is arrested near G20 summit in Toronto. "They are for luck. Didn't work this time, I see."

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Standing Before Judge

Lying mother jailed after making up nightclub rape claim and that "he cut off both my feet."

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Englanders?

Six reasons why we'll thrash Englanders! German press winds up ahead of clash. English supporters will answer at the games, one way or another.

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Pedestrian Crossing To Nowhere

Road to nowhere: Council wastes £130,000 on pedestrian crossing that cannot be used. Area citizens say it should be taken out of their salaries.

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

French Unions Strike Back!

French unions strike -- retirement age raised to 62. Many Union bosses say they will allow older worker sleep place during work hours.

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

We Want Early Retirement

French unions strike -- retirement age raised to 62. Many plan to slow down work to a crawl during added years.

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Taliban: We Get Another Shot!

Taliban endorses General Petraeus! Send congratulations to the President on his choice.

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Now We Know

NEARLY 12,000 PAGES: The legislation would redraw how money flows through economy. Overheard: "That King guy can sure write some bullshit, can't he?"

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

No One Reads Them Anyway

NEARLY 12,000 PAGES: The legislation would redraw how money flows through economy. "They'll never spot or big raise in all that", overheard.

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Another Whopper Bill

NEARLY 12,000 PAGES: The legislation would redraw how money flows through economy. "We've hit the jackpot with huge bills no one will read", says congress.

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

NASCAR Expands Income

Tennessee promoting new moonshine-NASCAR trail. Tourists invited to see early Moonshine stills, runners that lead to NASCAR, people with one tooth & mullet.

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

'Eclipse' Stars Hold Rally

'Eclipse' stars take in fandemonium at LA premiere. Is a live stage play next?

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Santa Told To Drop Toys, Also

Group will sue McDonald's over Happy Meal toys. Santa Claus coming up, as fat belly brings wrong message.

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Crackerjack Next?

Group will sue McDonald's over Happy Meal toys. Cracker Jacks could be next.

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Group To Sue McDonalds

Group will sue McDonald's over Happy Meal toys. "So what else do we have to do?", states bored group leader.

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

New SALT Talks

Small fraction of Americans meet salt guidelines. Imported vegetables have no taste otherwise, say consumers.

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Many Shipwrecks Yet Undiscovered

Lake Michigan shipwreck found after 112 years. Gore marriage shipwreck discovered after only 40.

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

More Businesses Closings

No Gulf seafood, no po-boys; owner shuts La. cafe. "I'll finish the liquor off, myself."

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Magic Carpets Spotted

Iran (Persia) will now deliver "supplies" to PLO on magic carpets. Israeli Air Force on alert.

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

BP Shares Down Again

BP shares down sharply in London, Pensacola Beach, Panama Beach, La. wetlands.

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Mortgages Low For Now

Mortgage rates at lowest point since mid-1950s. People with money to buy, lowest since 1930's.

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Shipwreck Discovered

Lake Michigan shipwreck found after 112 years. Divers give up hope as "tapping" turns out to be water movement against metal.

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Mothers & Daughters Gather

Lake Michigan shipwreck found after 112 years. "No survivors!"

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

And The Beat Goes On!

Stymied by GOP, Democrats at loss on jobs agenda. GOP: Ninety percent of "jobs" would come from the government.

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Nuturing A Global Recovery

Leaders differ on how to nurture a global recovery. Pin hopes on Hubble finding another earth-like planet to loan us some money.

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Harrahs Threatens To Display Crazy Horse's Pigtails

Mich. museum's Little Bighorn flag for sale in NYC.Most others are displayed in Indian Casinos elsewhere.

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Pieces Of His Story

Mich. museum's Little Bighorn flag, several of Custer's golden locks, for sale in NYC.

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

US Childlessness Rate Up

US childlessness is up, but racial paps narrowing. I'm sorry, that should be "gaps".

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Busy Hurricane Season

Hurricane Darby has strengthened to a Category 2 storm in the Pacific off Mexico's coast. Hurricane BP developing near Gulf.

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Porn Sites XXX

Porn sites closer to .xxx Web address. It's news, even though we know no Spoof writer would ever wish to visit.

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Mortgage Lowest In 50 Years

Mortgage rates at lowest point since mid-1950s. "We Like Ike" posters up at banks everywhere.

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Martgage Rates Drop

Mortgage rates at lowest point since mid-1950s. Workers average wage down to that of mid-1940s.

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Carbs Recalled

Over 2 million carbs recalled amid safety concerns over once popular Adkins Diet.

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Shipwreck Found

Lake Michigan shipwreck found after 112 years. "We finally found her", says 134-year-old diver.

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Asian Carp Ad #2

Single Asian carp, age two, found 6 miles from Lake Michigan. On the way towards Canada. Would welcome traveling partner to share expenses, food.

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Asian Carp Ad

Single Asian carp found 6 miles from Lake Michigan. Willing to travel farther north if female prefers living there.

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Asian Carp In Great Lakes

Single Asian carp found 6 miles from Lake Michigan. Looking for domestic carp who don't mind a nibble after sex.

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Fish Toxins

Report: Toxins found in whales bode ill for humans. "We eat fish so we're eating toxins too."

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Toxins In Whales

Report: Toxins found in whales bode ill for humans, especially for Japanese whalers, customers.

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Michael Remembered

Fans in NY, LA, elsewhere remember Michael Jackson. "He was that great-dancing white kid, right?"

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

MJ Remembered

Fans in NY, LA, elsewhere remember Michael Jackson. "I had forgotten, until I saw that pic", state several.

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Evidence Washing Ashore

More evidence of Gulf oil spill washes ashore, including cap that's supposed to be catching the oil.

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

More Gulf Spill Evidence

More evidence of Gulf oil spill washes ashore as 50 sharks biting and snapping at rescuers.

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Another Gov. Takeover

House, Senate lawmakers finalize deal on bank takeovers..bill!
"Be sure and hide in in a 2500-page report."

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Sports World Turned on Its Ear

After the marathon match between John Isner and Nicolas Mahut, tennis now replaces chess as the most boring sport in the World.

written by Charpa93, 25 June 2010
Rating:

News From Our Fifty States, #10

Delaware: Some thing happened in the news in Delaware, but the 14 people that live there hardly noticed.

written by anthonyrosania, 25 June 2010
Rating:

News From Our Fifty States, #34

Tennessee: The Memphis Grizzlies have taken guard Dominique Jones with the 25th pick of the NBA draft. They will still suck.

written by anthonyrosania, 25 June 2010
Rating:

News From Our Fifty States, #33

New Jersey: Governor Christie was arrested for embezzling State property, after he ate an entire school's free lunch program.

written by anthonyrosania, 25 June 2010
Rating:

News From Our Fifty States, #32

New Hampshire : Nothing happened here. Nothing at all, actually. Just. . . Nothing.

written by anthonyrosania, 25 June 2010
Rating:

News From Our Fifty States, #31

Nevada: he Killed Th Funny; Las Vegas votes to deport Carrot Top after being indicted for Criminally Negligent Comedycide. .

written by anthonyrosania, 25 June 2010
Rating:

News From Our Fifty States, #30

Nebraska: Residents in Fremont voted Monday to banish illegal immigrants from jobs and rental homes. They will also pray to a head of lettuce, and stone suspected witches,

written by anthonyrosania, 25 June 2010
Rating:

News From Our Fifty States, #29

Montana: A Billings man won $15 Million in the Powerball lottery. He now can afford to buy the whole f-cking state.

written by anthonyrosania, 25 June 2010
Rating:

News From Our Fifty States, #28

Missouri: Governor Jay Nixon signed legislation Thursday allowing the purchase of laptops for state workers. Problem: No one in Missouri knows what they are..

written by anthonyrosania, 25 June 2010
Rating:

News From Our Fifty States, #27

Mississippi: Tar from the BP Gulf oil leak reached Mississipps beaches yesterday. They were charged $5.00 each for a day pass.

written by anthonyrosania, 25 June 2010
Rating:

News From Our Fifty States, #26

Minnesota: The Timberwolves traded Ryan Gomes and Luke Babbitt to Memphis for a sack of magic beans.

written by anthonyrosania, 25 June 2010
Rating:

News From Our Fifty States, #25

Michigan: The unemployment rate hit 25.6% in Detroit in August, its lowest number in 6 years.

written by anthonyrosania, 25 June 2010
Rating:

News From Our Fifty States, #24

Massachusetts: A final vote has nixed plans for the John F. Kennedy, Jr. Memorial Airport, for obvious reasons.

written by anthonyrosania, 25 June 2010
Rating:

News From Our Fifty States, #23

Massachusetts: A final vote has nixed plans for the John F. Kennedy, Jr. Memorial Airport, for obvious reasons.

written by anthonyrosania, 25 June 2010
Rating:

News From Our Fifty States, #22

Maryland: Lawmakers have voted to change the name of the state to Engomanalahano, Cherokee for "Hicks and Felons north of Virginia"

written by anthonyrosania, 25 June 2010
Rating:

News From Our Fifty States, #21

Maine: 3 people were brutally shot and stabbed in a home in remote northern Maine Thursday. No one noticed for 11 months.

written by anthonyrosania, 25 June 2010
Rating:

News From Our Fifty States, #20

Louisiana: With the BP Oil leak, God proves once again that he HATES Louisiana.

written by anthonyrosania, 25 June 2010
Rating:

News From Our Fifty States, #19

Kentucky: The University of Kentucky lost two players to west-coast teams in the NBA Draft, bringing the total of talented athletes in the state to 5.

written by anthonyrosania, 25 June 2010
Rating:

News From Our Fifty States, #18

Kansas: Lawmakers have voted to change the name of the state to "Missouri Lite."

written by anthonyrosania, 25 June 2010
Rating:

News From Our Fifty States, #17

Iowa: The state voted to avoid use of "Build America Bonds", citing a lack of desire to improve the state.

written by anthonyrosania, 25 June 2010
Rating:

News From Our Fifty States, #16

Indiana: Authorities say three men have stolen more than $200k from ATMs in central Indiana, which is tough with a $300 limit on withdrawals.

written by anthonyrosania, 25 June 2010
Rating:

News From Our Fifty States, #15

Illinois: In light of governor Blagojevich's actions, Lawmakers have actually put Obama's senate seat on eBay as a "Buy It Now" item.

written by anthonyrosania, 25 June 2010
Rating:

News From Our Fifty States, #14

Idaho: Education authorities withdrew the Charter for an Idaho school that used of the Bible as a historical text. Why give context to "In God we trust"?

written by anthonyrosania, 25 June 2010
Rating:

News From Our Fifty States, #13

Hawaii: The state's Supreme Court upheld a restraining order disallowing anyone from referring to a lower back, er . . . "money shot" as a "Map Of Hawaii."

written by anthonyrosania, 25 June 2010
Rating:

News From Our Fifty States, #12

Georgia : Georgia Tech Forward Derrick Favors was selecting #3 in the NBA Draft, meaning that he will be on a sh-tty team in a sh-tty state.

written by anthonyrosania, 25 June 2010
Rating:

News From Our Fifty States, #11

Florida: Oil from the BP Gulf leak reached the shore in Pensacola today. Fortunately, Pensacola is such a sh-thole no one noticed.

written by anthonyrosania, 25 June 2010
Rating:

News From Our Fifty States, #9

Delaware: Some thing happened in the news in Delaware, but the 14 people that live there hardly noticed.

written by anthonyrosania, 25 June 2010
Rating:

News From Our Fifty States, #8

Delaware: Some thing happened in the news in Delaware, but the 14 people that live there hardly noticed.

written by anthonyrosania, 25 June 2010
Rating:

News From Our Fifty States, #7

Connecticut: Heavy storms ravaged Hartford Friday, wiping the city out entirely. This effectively doubled the value of the rest of the state.

written by anthonyrosania, 25 June 2010
Rating:

News From Our Fifty States, #6

Colorado: Rockies pitcher Daisuke Matsuzaka lives up to his "Dice-K" nickname by sickening an entire stadium full of ticketholders, just like Andrew Dice Clay.

written by anthonyrosania, 25 June 2010
Rating:

News From Our Fifty States, #5

California: Governor Jean Claude Van Damme stated that he will "kick the sh-t" out of the budget deficit. The Budget resoundingly beat him. As did Californians.

written by anthonyrosania, 25 June 2010
Rating:

News From Our Fifty States, #4

Arkansas: Officials won't let a little thing like ruining the Earth's breathable air stop them from erecting a $1.7 billion, 600-megawatt coal burning plant in Little Rock.

written by anthonyrosania, 25 June 2010
Rating:

News From Our Fifty States, #3

Arizona: Residents in Phoenix ask government officials to address their growing concern about the heat as dozens of pets spontaneously burst into flames.

written by anthonyrosania, 25 June 2010
Rating:

News From Our Fifty States, #2

Alaska: Sarah Palin's controversial hunting practice takes the next logical step: She is now killing Polar bears with Apache gunships.

written by anthonyrosania, 25 June 2010
Rating:

News From Our Fifty States, #1

Alabama: Residents in Jugbang County decide to paint their houses, effectively tripling their value.

written by anthonyrosania, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Serena Williams Won't Be Playing Before the Queen

Although several reasons have been given, the real reason Serena has been switched from Centre Court is because the Queen is fearful that her fans may bring those dreadful vuvuzelas to cheer her on.

written by Charpa93, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Longest Tennis Match Finally Over

A huge break came when an over-zealous French fan brought his vuvuzela to the match to cheer on Nicolas Mahut, clinching a win for John Isner.

written by Charpa93, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Quentin Tarantino Scores with Sequel

He's just wrapping up filming of his next big sequel "From Dusk Till Dawn: Wimbledon"

written by Charpa93, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Al Gore Under Investigation For Sexual Attack Against Woman Who Gave Him A Massage

Al responds "at least I didn't kill my affair like Ted Kennedy did."

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Al Gore Under Investigation For Sexual Attack Against Woman Who Gave Him A Massage

Laurie David upset that the former Vice President "cheated on me with another other woman."

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Al Gore Under Investigation For Sexual Attack Against Woman Who Gave Him A Massage

Gore seeks legal advice from Kobe Bryant.

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Al Gore Under Investigation For Sexual Attack Against Woman Who Gave Him A Massage

Former Vice President responds "I thought that what happens in Portland, stays in Portland!"

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Al Gore Under Investigation For Sexual Attack Against Woman Who Gave Him A Massage

Did he ask for a Lewinsky too?

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Al Gore Under Investigation For Sexual Attack Against Woman Who Gave Him A Massage

Pittsburgh Steelers Quarterback Ben Roethlisberger glad that the attention is finally off him.

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Al Gore Under Investigation For Sexual Attack Against Woman Who Gave Him A Massage

Police call his alibi "An Inconvenient Half-Truth."

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Al Gore Under Investigation For Sexual Attack Against Woman Who Gave Him A Massage

The former Vice President says that he was just trying to get "room service."

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Al Gore Under Investigation For Sexual Attack Against Woman Who Gave Him A Massage

No word on whether he tried to get her to "smoke a cigar."

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Al Gore Under Investigation For Sexual Attack Against Woman Who Gave Him A Massage

Did her remember to tipper?

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Reverse Psychological Warfare: US donates Nukes to Iran Reason#5

American propagandists have had a hard time over the last few decades playing up their wars against pre-bombed poor countries as a "brave campaign". Finally, a country with real weapons. Click Here.

written by ronin47empire, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Provincetown, Mass. Schools To Provide Free Condoms To First Graders

Catholic Priests happy because now altar boys can provide their own.

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Provincetown, Mass. Schools To Provide Free Condoms To First Graders

I guess this is to combat the rampant spread of venereal disease from kids who sit on the same teeter-totter.

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Provincetown, Mass. Schools To Provide Free Condoms To First Graders

What's a mother to do if she finds a French Tickler in with her daughter's Barbie Dolls?

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Provincetown, Mass. Schools To Provide Free Condoms To First Graders

Will they come in junior and toddler sizes?

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Provincetown, Mass. Schools To Provide Free Condoms To First Graders

I'll bet the bubble gum flavor become the most popular with the pre-teens.

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Provincetown, Mass. Schools To Provide Free Condoms To First Graders

Is there a mandatory three day waiting period for children in day care?

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Nostril Man Denied Entrance

Nostril Man turned away from the Justice League of America because of superpower being, "Able to breathe normally in a outdoor shithouse" doesn't suit. "Just wait, I'll fix their lunchboxes!"

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Passenger Pigeon Boy: "Quit Clubbing Dodo Man In The Head!"

DC Comic's "Dodo Man" ends with seventh issue after he discovers he is extinct.

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Twice!!

College basketball player from Georgetown will be red-shirted this season after records show that he failed Pre-School!

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

New NCAA Rules

The University of Louisville has been forced to eliminate "Paternity Suits 101" for basketball students from the curriculum.

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Original Star Trek #10

Overheard at the recent "Original Star Trek" Convention in Metropolis, which allowed liquor: "Saaaaaay! Somebody Jim Beam me up!"

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Original Star Trek #9

Overheard at the recent "Original Star Trek" Convention in Metropolis, which allowed liquor: OK! OK! Forget the mind meld. The good stuff under the Captain's chair."

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Original Star Trek #8

Overheard at the recent "Original Star Trek" Convention in Metropolis, which allowed liquor: "Sure there waz a wino on tha scar trick. Bring me another 2-Buck Chuck!"

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Original Star Trek #7

Overheard at the recent "Original Star Trek" Convention in Metropolis, which allowed liquor: Where's Sulu? "Now he's in the closet with Chekov."

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Original Star Trek #6

Overheard at the recent "Original Star Trek" Convention in Metropolis, which allowed liquor: "Can't find the hic! car. Who turned on the cloaking device?"

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Original Star Trek #5

Overheard at the recent "Original Star Trek" Convention in Metropolis, which allowed liquor: Ohhhhh Uhura! Come over here-a!"

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Judge Judges Al

A judge who is in charge of the Tipper/Al Gore case says that Al Gore is full of shit on global warming. "There's a small chance that he's right but in either case, he's still full of shit!"

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

The Unmitigated Gall

Couple not the only uninvited guests at White House party back several moths ago. As one photo developed by visitor shows Abe Lincoln being escorted out as a possible terrorist.

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Clergy Again?

Belgian police raided the HQ of the Belgian Catholic Church during an investigation into child sex abuse claims. The Pope says if guilty, he will move them so they won't bother kids these anymore.

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Sure Signs That This Is The End #30

Sure Signs That This Is The End: Fat women on every street corner, singing their fat asses off!

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Sure Signs That This Is The End #29

Sure Signs That This Is The End: Your new best friend? Your wife's mother!

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Sure Signs That This Is The End #28

Sure Signs That This Is The End: Queen Elizabeth lights a fart. "We are hee hee amused. Oh, look human, Charles."

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Sure Signs That This Is The End #27

Sure Signs That This Is The End: Tiger Woods admits he's down to only two women a day.

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Sure Signs That This Is The End #26

Sure Signs That This Is The End: Former Vic President Dick Cheney hasn't had a heart attack in three weeks.

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
Rating:

Sure Signs That This Is The End #25

Sure Signs That This Is The End: "Nancy Pelosi suddenly able to not only smile but also lift one eyebrow."

written by Bureau, 25 June 2010
« May 2010 June 2010 Jul 2010 »
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun
 
1st
90
2nd
86
3rd
112
4th
108
5th
79
6th
143
7th
106
8th
81
9th
69
10th
87
11th
89
12th
72
13th
149
14th
96
15th
118
16th
95
17th
105
18th
93
19th
71
20th
89
21st
81
22nd
93
23rd
143
24th
80
25th
162
26th
149
27th
121
28th
122
29th
154
30th
121
 

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 5 multiplied by 5?

3 8 25 10


Go to top