Order by:
Rating:

More Lies Ahead!

Lyse Doucet asks what lies ahead for Africa after the tournament. "More lies" laughs president Kgalema Motlanthe.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
Rating:

Israel Conducts Inquiry

Israel has announced an internal inquiry into its deadly raid on a convoy of Gaza-bound aid ships. Crew argues that it was carrying food & supplies, Israel says it was loaded with deadly rocks.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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"It'll Be A Surprise!"

President Obama says that answering questions about exactly how we will ever pay off our $13 trillion dollar debt would be "giving away our Ramadan..eh, Christmas present for 2012."

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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"You're a Fowl One!"

"Remember, BP Oil is going to pay for having the beaches cleaned up, the people losing jobs paid, and restocking all rare fish, birds & animals. This is the BP mascot, Mr. Grinch!"

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
Rating:

Not Smiling Anymore

The Mona Lisa painting was destroyed today after the museum found lead in the paint.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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We Are Very Patient

The Dalai Lama today told the Chinese government that as long as they occupy Tibet, they will never get the monks off their backs.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
Rating:

Short Work!

In a duel earlier today, John Madden's "Boom!!" blew away Emeril Lagasse's "Bam!".

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
Rating:

US World Cup Nuke Threat!

On the heels of Bush, President Obama has employed "Shock and Awe" tactics to ensure his country win the World Cup in South Africa... "Any nation defeating us will be razed to the ground - pronto!"

written by iscrivener, 13 June 2010
Rating:

Nani No Ninny!

Portuguese and Manchester United star Nani has signed a lucrative panto deal to play "Dopey" in Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs at the Manchester Opera House next Christmas!

written by iscrivener, 13 June 2010
Rating:

Great Scot Has Been!

Following the latest news that Roy Hodgson is the number one management target of English club Liverpool, former kop favourite Kenny Dalglish has opted for a peripheral role as club mascot!

written by iscrivener, 13 June 2010
Rating:

Rooneys Left Blue In The Face!

Former advisors, Proactive Sports Management, to the Rooneys, have stated they will donate the £4,000,000 compensation they will receive from Judge Hegarty QC to English premiership club - Everton!

written by iscrivener, 13 June 2010
Rating:

England "Goalie" In Multi Million $ Sponsorship Talks!

Nestlé (South Africa) (Pty) Ltd. have approached English goalkeeper Robert Green to front their latest advertisement campaign to promote their new Butterfinger's Bar.

written by iscrivener, 13 June 2010
Rating:

All Talk & No Action

The White House has announced that President will do campaigning in the fall...as he has been doing since being elected president.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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Better Tracking Device

Sensors deployed to better track BP oil spill, Obama ass kicking in the Gulf.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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Missed Limbaugh But King's Back

Last weekend Rush Limbaugh was married for the fourth time. But don't panic, ladies. Rumor is that Larry King will be available again any day now.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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Go On To Bed, We'll Be Here In The Morning

Doctors now say that losing sleep can lead to bad health, depression, poor self-image and reading stuff like this.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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Time To Act!

BP Oil Company given 24 hours to do something more constructive towards stopping leak, say they will be up all night, burning the midnight oil, trying different schemes.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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Hawking On Aliens

Stephen Hawking says that aliens probably do exist, but that we should not interact with them, especially if they land in Arizona.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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Dollar Drops Again

The dollar drops once again. Store Chain changes it's name to The $5 Store!

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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Arrest Him Or Else

Israel's defense minister is canceling a planned visit to Paris amid threats by pro-Palestinian groups to have him arrested there, as the French know better than not to do what the PLO ask.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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May Have Missed Message

Saudi Arabia gives Israel clear skies to attack Iranian nuclear sites once again..just in case they didn't hear them mention the fact every day last week.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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It's A Start

OBAMA PUSHES $50B MORE IN 'EMERGENCY' FUNDS! "Just in case our 13 trillion dollar debt called in."

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
Rating:

Korean-Australian Immigrant eats Dingo's baby to turn a phrase on its head

Australians,especially Rick,often greet relatives with"A Dingo Ate Your Baby".But Korean-Ozy Gulmjulin Kim seeking his native cuisine of "puppy",ate a dingo baby today screwing up the saying forever

written by ronin47empire, 13 June 2010
Rating:

Obama Threatens Nuclear Strike Against England For BP Disaster.

Obama Threatens Nuclear Strike Against England For BP Disaster: "Mess up my Gulf, I irradiate your country. USA! USA! USA!"

written by anthonyrosania, 13 June 2010
Rating:

You Can Snell The Reason

Villagers terrorised by dive-bombing buzzard. Told to try some cologne, perfume, under arm deodorant.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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Negligent Surgeon Has No Regrets

Surgeon linked to major childbirth negligence cases has 'no regrets' "He'll have no balls either if we can get to him", says dissident.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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The Beer-Pull Party

Another alcohol tax hike set to sting drinkers as "The Beer-Pull Party" starts to organize.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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You Weigh Enough Already

MPs find something else to beef about: The size of their meals and HP Sauce being axed. No seconds.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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Cabbage Gas Build-Up Again

Gas explosion rocks pensioners' flat complex. From now on, cabbage will be cooked at only two places a day or a rotating daily schedule.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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Jock Strap No Longer Needed

Chief of defence, Jock Strap axed after Government says he's been around 'longer than needed'. Sorry. That should be Sir Jock Stirrip.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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Hospital Infections Rampart

Hospitals with the worst superbug infection rates are named, blamed, caned and shamed.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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Sanderson Objects

Olympic golden girl Tessa Sanderson refuses to be married to a woman priest. Sorry. That should be "by" a woman priest.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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World Upside Down

Mother of twins mauled by fox is threatened by animal rights activists. Most Brits think the animal rights people should be on endangered list.


written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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Bad Timing

Fans' fury as ITV's HD coverage MISSES England's first World Cup goal... and switches to a car advert instead. "Now no one will buy our cars", laments dealer.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
Rating:

Elephant Blocks Traffic At World Cup

Elephant blocks U.S. squad on trunk road. "It did a better job at blocking than the Goalie", says US team Captain.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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Annie Orphaned Again? #2

Annie comic ends, but the redhead's fate uncertain after Sugar-Daddy Warbucks sudden death.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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Orphaned Again?

Annie comic ends, but the redhead's fate uncertain, until Daddy Warbucks will is read.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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Drug Companies Cooperate

Drug companies share data to speed brain research. "It's in all our interests to keep them on our drugs", says one CEO.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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New Country Needs Help

WHO: more blood donations needed in blood-poor countries such as East Anemia!

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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Sebelius Stumping

Sebelius stumps for anti-childhood obesity plan. "If they weigh over 150 pounds, they are to be treated as adults."

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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Google Confesses

Google tells lawmakers it never used Wi-Fi data. "Honest! Really! Well, actually we sold it."

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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Give Up Oil?

Has the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico got you so mad you're ready to quit Big Oil? Poll says 99 percent say yes, but not until another source of energy found. Other 1 percent oil workers, investors.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
Rating:

Nothing New Here

Calif. gov candidates come from different worlds. But so did Schwarzenegger.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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Sit Not Set!

Kagan would sit out some big Supreme Court cases. Offer of free beer changing views of those already on Court. "Bring Her On!!!"

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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Spirit Strike

Spirit Airlines pilots strike, stranding thousands of spooks! Hauntings delayed.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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It's Coming Home, It's Coming Home, It's Coming...

The-usual-bloody-frustration-and-panic-about-getting-through-the-Group-Stage, is Coming Home

written by Roy Turse, 13 June 2010
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Interstates Closed In NC!

Fart closes 2 interstates through Greensboro, NC. Sorry, that should be "Fire!"

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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Royal Wedding Triggers...Whatever!

Royal wedding triggers monarchy debate in Sweden. For some reason, we thought you might want to know that. Sorry.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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Look Out, Here Comes Grog On Blazer!

New Theory for Life's First Natural Energy Source. In vehicles, the Lit-Fart Jet!

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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Saving Money At Schools

In bold move, Colorado alters teacher tenure rules "The longer you stay, the less we pay". Boards say new teachers can teach the latest, up-to-date subjects.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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Imagine my embarrassment

When I realised I'd bought a B-flat Vuvuzela and everyone else was playing in concert pitch.

written by Roy Turse, 13 June 2010
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Hit By 17 Shoes

Obama faces rare defeat on health help for BP clean up crews.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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BP Pep Talk #2

BP exec gives pep talk amid US tensions over "The Mother Of All Oil Spills!"

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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BP Execs Give Pep Talk

BP exec gives pep talk amid US tensions over spill. "Nothing but blood, oil, sweat, oil and oil & tears."

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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Weding At Home Depot #3

Wedding bells on Aisle 1: Pair weds at Home Depot. Couple were Latter Day Saints.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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Wedding At Home Depot #2

Wedding bells on Aisle 1: Pair weds at Home Depot. Head off to their honeymoon on tow motor.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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Wedding At Home Depot

Wedding bells on Aisle 1: Pair weds at Home Depot. Given boards for under mattress so no one hurts their back.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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World Cup? Is That The Big Horserace? Golf? Hockey?

Yanks not such easy meat at World Cup after all, though few here seem to know about it.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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Price Of Lead Down

China warns local gov't on investment agencies. "You might look for lead to fall per ounce as they are catching on."

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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Obama Asks Britain Not To Execute Goalie

Obama tells Britain no hard feelings over spill. "That goalie, does he work for BP?"

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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No Hard Feelings

Obama tells Britain no hard feelings over spill. "Listen, if you guys ever have another spill, hey, come on over!"

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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Wendy's Recalls Racy CD #7

Racy lyrics lead Wendy's to pull CD from kid meals as "Sex Machine" accidentally included.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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Wendy's Recalls Racy CD #6

Racy lyrics lead Wendy's to pull CD from kid meals as "Between The Sheets" accidentally included.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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Wendy's Recalls Racy CD #5

Racy lyrics lead Wendy's to pull CD from kid meals as "The Old Bump & Grind" accidentally included.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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Wendy's Recalls Racy CD #4

Racy lyrics lead Wendy's to pull CD from kid meals as "Let's Get Drunk & Screw" accidentally included.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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Wendy's Recalls Racy CD #3

Racy lyrics lead Wendy's to pull CD from kid meals as "Why Don't We Do It In The Middle Of The Road?" accidentally included.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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Wendy's Recalls Racy CD #2

Racy lyrics lead Wendy's to pull CD from kid meals as "Let It All Hang Out" accidentally included.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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Wendy's Recall Racy CD

Racy lyrics lead Wendy's to pull CD from kid meals as "Take A Walk On The Wild Side" accidentally included.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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Seem To Need A Lot

WHO: more blood donations needed in small countries, like Transylvania.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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Healthy, Weary & Broke

Teen sailor healthy, weary, heavily in debt to rescue parties after 3 days adrift.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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You're Soaking In It!

Obama stand on oil spill is tough and temperate and on solid oil balls on the beach.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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New Boss, Same As The Old Boss

Obama stand on oil spill is tough and temperate and actually sitting on his ass.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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Tamil Fighters Marry

Mass wedding for former Tamil fighters, after discovering that they are lovers not fighters.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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SKorea's Plans Foe Capital Stability

SKorea announces plan to battle capital volatility. That is, unless NKorea takes over.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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New Theory

New Theory for Life's First Energy Source! Many now believe that small, big-headed alien was accidentally left behind.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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First Spark Of Life

New Theory for Life's First Energy Source! Several now think first spark of life was caused by two flint rocks accidentally rubbing together near primal soup.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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Teacher's Tenure Changes

In bold move, Colorado alters teacher tenure rules as new teachers hired first to save some cash.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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Frequent Flyer Miles Change #2

Frequent Flyer Miles: How Airlines Are Changing the Game! Now fliers must go whichever direction Airlines choose, such as oily beaches.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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Short Hops

Frequent Flyer Miles: How Airlines Are Changing the Game. Now only allowed to use the 50 miles at a time.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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Obama Faces Defeat

Obama faces rare defeat on health help for jobless as something had to stop the spending madness.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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Arizona's Next Target

Arizona's Next Immigration Target: Children of Illegals. Then, those who have touched illegals and are unclean.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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Wall Street Rules

New rules for Wall Street must clear final hurdles, run the gauntlets, complete the marathons.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
Rating:

Amazing: Facebook Updates by Jesus Christ Found! #21

Just saw the picture of me they use in church: White skin and straight, auburn hair? C'mon, guys; I'm from the Middle-East.

written by anthonyrosania, 13 June 2010
Rating:

Amazing: Facebook Updates by Jesus Christ Found! #20

Just met a guy named Larry King, who wants to interview me. God, that guy is old.

written by anthonyrosania, 13 June 2010
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Amazing: Facebook Updates by Jesus Christ Found! #19

To fans of England's soccer team: You're damned RIGHT I made Rob Green miss it! USA! USA! USA!

written by anthonyrosania, 13 June 2010
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Amazing: Facebook Updates by Jesus Christ Found! #18

No, Miley Cyrus is NOT the Antichrist. But she is evil.

written by anthonyrosania, 13 June 2010
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Amazing: Facebook Updates by Jesus Christ Found! #17

My Dad said he's going to get me tickets to see the Jonas Brothers. I hope he pulls it off.

written by anthonyrosania, 13 June 2010
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Amazing: Facebook Updates by Jesus Christ Found! #10

My Dad said he's going to get me tickets to see the Jonas Brothers. I hope he pulls it off.

written by anthonyrosania, 13 June 2010
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Amazing: Facebook Updates by Jesus Christ Found! #16

These demoniacs are a pisser! "My name is Legion for we are many"? F-ck you, my dad is God.

written by anthonyrosania, 13 June 2010
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Amazing: Facebook Updates by Jesus Christ Found! #15

I promise, if Saturday Night Live puts out another movie like MacGruber, I'll personally smite them.

written by anthonyrosania, 13 June 2010
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Amazing: Facebook Updates by Jesus Christ Found! #15

Hey, Roman soldiers, WTF is with the whipping?!?! I am soooooo sore.

written by anthonyrosania, 13 June 2010
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Amazing: Facebook Updates by Jesus Christ Found! #14

Just got offered a cameo in Passion of the Christ 2.

written by anthonyrosania, 13 June 2010
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Amazing: Facebook Updates by Jesus Christ Found! #13

You want me to heal a guy with dropsy? Just put glue on his fingers, he'll stop dropping things.

written by anthonyrosania, 13 June 2010
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Amazing: Facebook Updates by Jesus Christ Found! #12

I drove out the capernaum demoniac, I drove out the Gerasene demoniac, and my friends still think I'm full of sh-t. What do I need to do, walk on water?

written by anthonyrosania, 13 June 2010
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Amazing: Facebook Updates by Jesus Christ Found! #11

I drove out the capernaum demoniac, I drove out the Gerasene demoniac, and my friends still think I'm full of sh-t. What do I need to do, walk on water?

written by anthonyrosania, 13 June 2010
Rating:

Amazing: Facebook Updates by Jesus Christ Found! #10

Oh, boo hoo: "I don't want to eat your flesh and drink your blood." Big babies. Now I have to invent transubstantiation.

written by anthonyrosania, 13 June 2010
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Amazing: Facebook Updates by Jesus Christ Found! #9

A-hole Romans gave me a choice of Mountain Dew or a sponge soaked in vinegar. No contest: I HATE Mountain Dew sucks.

written by anthonyrosania, 13 June 2010
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Amazing: Facebook Updates by Jesus Christ Found! #8

I hate that my birthday is on Christmas; If my birthday was in, like, October, I'd get presents for my birthday AND Christmas.

written by anthonyrosania, 13 June 2010
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Amazing: Facebook Updates by Jesus Christ Found! #7

He wasn't dead, he was hung over, and he didn't want his wife to know. Lazarus, you owe me one.

written by anthonyrosania, 13 June 2010
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Amazing: Facebook Updates by Jesus Christ Found! #6

Got indicted for sedition against the Roman Empire, but my public defender says I have nothing to worry about, Thank God..., er, Thank Me.

written by anthonyrosania, 13 June 2010
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Amazing: Facebook Updates by Jesus Christ Found! #5

Someone edited my Wikipedia page and wrote that I was 41. WTF!

written by anthonyrosania, 13 June 2010
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Amazing: Facebook Updates by Jesus Christ Found! #4

No one thought to bring more than five loaves of bread and 2 fish? Oh, great, no problem. Let ME handle it.

written by anthonyrosania, 13 June 2010
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Amazing: Facebook Updates by Jesus Christ Found! #3

My Dad Sux! All my friends are backpacking through Europe, Dad wants me to go into woods and fight Satan. Lucky me.

written by anthonyrosania, 13 June 2010
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Amazing: Facebook Updates by Jesus Christ Found! #2

The 'Rents didn't book a motel room, so I was born in a sheep feeder. Mom, Dad: Travelocity? Hello?

written by anthonyrosania, 13 June 2010
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Bizarre Movie Recasts, #1

Oprah Winfrey in Titanic: Oprah wanted too much money, and Kate Winslet fit into all of Winfrey's costumes for the movie.

written by anthonyrosania, 13 June 2010
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Bizarre Movie Recasts, #2

Mel Gibson as Oscar Shindler, Shindler's List: Yeah, right. Mel Gibson as a friend of oppressed Jews.

written by anthonyrosania, 13 June 2010
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Bizarre Movie Recasts, #3

Keanu Reeves, Hamlet: Was cast as Hamlet in the 1990 film version, but crappy, wooden acting caused him to be recast as a piece of furniture. Even in THAT role he sucked.

written by anthonyrosania, 13 June 2010
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Bizarre Movie Recasts, #4

Tom Selleck as Indiana Jones: Ha!! HAHAHAH! Selleck thought… Hahahaha! that Magnum P.I… hahahaHAHA! was a better career move! (Falls on floor, laughing.)

written by anthonyrosania, 13 June 2010
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Bizarre Movie Recasts, #5

Punxsutawney Phil as Billy Zane's Toupee, Titanic: Director James Cameron believed the groundhog would be too believable versus the rug Zane wore.

written by anthonyrosania, 13 June 2010
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Bizarre Movie Recasts, #6

Chris Farley as Shrek: Hired as Shreck, recorded almost all of the dialogue, did a barrelful of drugs, heart exploded, recast.

written by anthonyrosania, 13 June 2010
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Bizarre Movie Recasts, #7

Jean-Claude Van Damme as Predator: Was hired, but quit after two days of filming, because the Predator costume would hide his sh-tty acting from moviegoers.

written by anthonyrosania, 13 June 2010
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Bizarre Movie Recasts, #8

Leonardo DiCaprio as Patrick Bateman, American Psycho: No one would believe a 7 year old as a sadistic psychopath, unless it was Justin Bieber.

written by anthonyrosania, 13 June 2010
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Bizarre Movie Recasts, #9

Sylvester Stallone as Axel Foley, Beverly Hills Cop: Sly was hired, took a sh-t on the script, and was fired.

written by anthonyrosania, 13 June 2010
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Bizarre Movie Recasts, #10

O.J. Simpson was considered for the role of The Terminator, but was deemed "too nice" to play a killing machine.

written by anthonyrosania, 13 June 2010
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Amazing: Facebook Updates by Jesus Christ Found! #1

Dad is sloshed again. He keeps saying, "Virgin birth my ass."

written by anthonyrosania, 13 June 2010
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Amazing: Facebook Updates by Jesus Christ Found! #1

Dad is sloshed again. He keeps saying, "Virgin birth my ass."

written by anthonyrosania, 13 June 2010
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George Bush Makes Charity Donation

Former President George Bush has donated his eyebrows to a charity auction raising money for the Save The Whales organisation.

written by Darwin, 13 June 2010
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Government Crackdown!

The government announced today that they're making big changes to the No-Fly list. No more crossing their heart and hoping to die.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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TV Images Traveling A Long Ways

American TV images just now reaching a faraway galaxy frighten the civilization there that there is a planet where being poked others in the eye while going "woo-woo-woo!"

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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Tylenol Recall

Many parents tonight have sat their children down and told them not to take any recalled Liquid Tylenol for Children, especially from a stranger.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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Saudis Give All Clear

Saudi Arabia gives Israel clear skies to attack Iranian nuclear sites. Should they wish to do so. "We are powerless to stop them", they will plea.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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Tried To Clean Blue Dress

Kagan key player in Clinton White House's big fights...paid off Lewinsky!

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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Minnesotans Told To Brake

Minnesota asks drivers to brake for turtles. If there's an old lady...well, let's just say we have plenty of old ladies to spare.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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Not Obama's Fault

Environmentalists give Obama a pass on oil spill. "Probably began leaking while Bush in White House", says leader just before lightning blasted him.

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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Top Nudist TV Shows #30

A survey of nudists included on the 2010 Census reveals their all-time favorite TV shows, such as "Stark Trek"

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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Top Nudist TV Shows #29

A survey of nudists included on the 2010 Census reveals their all-time favorite TV shows, such as "My So-Called Penis"

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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Top Nudist TV Shows #28

A survey of nudists included on the 2010 Census reveals their all-time favorite TV shows, such as "Cocky & Bullwinker"

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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Top Nudist TV Shows #27

A survey of nudists included on the 2010 Census reveals their all-time favorite TV shows, such as "Playhouse 12 1/2"

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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Top Nudist TV Shows #26

A survey of nudists included on the 2010 Census reveals their all-time favorite TV shows, such as "The Feel World"

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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Top Nudist TV Shows #25

A survey of nudists included on the 2010 Census reveals their all-time favorite TV shows, such as "Pee Wee's Pee Wee"

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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Top Nudist TV Shows #24

A survey of nudists included on the 2010 Census reveals their all-time favorite TV shows, such as "Pose Ann"

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
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Top Nudist TV Shows #23

A survey of nudists included on the 2010 Census reveals their all-time favorite TV shows, such as "Hoots, The Series"

written by Bureau, 13 June 2010
Rating:

New Perspective on Food

Members of the food police were trapped in a fast food restaurant for 30 days, surviving by eating double cheeseburgers, fries & milkshakes. They now have a whole new outlook on why people eat there!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 13 June 2010
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The Obama Touch

The economy, jobs, Wall Street oversight, health care reform & energy all bear the Obama Touch! Everything his administration touches turns to Stupidity, Hubris, Incompetence & Taxation!




written by Philbert of Macadamia, 13 June 2010
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Russian Vodka Prices Double

Domestic Vodka prices will double due to an increase in government taxes. Some Russians expect that soon Vodka will be more expensive than gasoline and that could lead to some really big problems!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 13 June 2010
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President Obama Sued

Animal rights activists have sued President Obama for kicking an ass!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 13 June 2010
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Plumber in Chief

President Obama, plunger in hand, works on White House toilets to recover the $10 million flushed down the drain by unions in Arkansas' Democratic Senatorial primary election.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 13 June 2010
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New Electronic Product

A new electronic product called "Fuck Off" allows the user to block annoying conversations during meetings, at home or any where obnoxious people (such as politicians) don't know when to shut up!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 13 June 2010
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Lawsuit Over Peanuts

Civil rights group sues President Obama and the FAA for discrimination, over eliminating peanuts on airline flights. The charge is besmirching the legacy of Dr. George Washington Carver.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 13 June 2010
Rating:

Another Slick Politician

A leak indicates that Tony Hayward CEO of BP Oil is to become an American citizen & run for Congress after he retires. He wanted to challenge Pres. Obama in 2012, the US Constitution prohibits this!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 13 June 2010
Rating:

Who's Having More Fun?

Vegan's eating only organically grown vegetables and Tofu live to be 79 years old. Other human's who eat two double cheeseburgers and drink two beers per day only live to be 78 ½ years.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 13 June 2010
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Democratic Politics

Homicide bomber kills 40 Muslim men, women and children at a wedding party in Afghanistan. President Obama and the far left Democrats blame former President George W Bush's tax cuts!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 13 June 2010
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No Protests Planned

Homicide bomber kills 40 Muslim men, women & children at wedding party in Afghanistan. No protests occur in Greece, Turkey or Europe. Palestinian Pres. Abbas & the UN are silent about any massacre.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 13 June 2010
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Still No Protests Planned

Kyrgyz and Uzbeks kill each other in Kyrgyzstan riots, leaving 23 people dead! No protests occur in Greece, Turkey or Europe. Palestinian President Abbas & the UN are silent about any massacre.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 13 June 2010
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Retread Warning

Safety experts always warn the public about putting retread tires on their cars. So why would State of California voters want to put a former 1970's retread governor back in the state house?

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 13 June 2010
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Obama Seeking Person with Executive Experience

Former President George W Bush had VP Dick Cheney as an executive mentor. President Obama is considering replacing VP Biden, previously a long serving Senator, with former VP Dick Cheney!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 13 June 2010
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Law Suit Thrown Out

Rev. Al Sharpton's discrimination law suit against the BP Oil Company has been thrown out by a judge. The judge said that tar balls are washing up on the gulf beaches not tar babies (Brer Rabbit).

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 13 June 2010
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Democrats Worried

In addition to Alvin Greene in South Carolina, the Democratic National Committee discovered Mickey Mouse and Elmer Fudd were Democratic candidates in some states.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 13 June 2010
Rating:

Another North Korean Excuse

North Korea blames a defective Iranian torpedo for sinking the South Korean warship. Kim Jong IL said "the launched weapon only understood Farsi not Korean!"

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 13 June 2010
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