Funny story:  Levi Johnston lobbies for additional 15 minutes of fame; hopes to knock up another celebrity daughter by end of summer

Levi Johnston lobbies for additional 15 minutes of fame; hopes to knock up another celebrity daughter by end of summer

Los Angeles- Levi Johnston, fresh off his stunningly forgettable Playgirl shoot, announced to a packed press conference of 3 or 4 reporters that he was ready to take the exploitation of his fortunate teenage liaison with the daughter of former Vice P...
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Funny story:  Bargis Tryhol Tells Alex Reid - I'll Make Katie Price's Eyes Water!

Bargis Tryhol Tells Alex Reid - I'll Make Katie Price's Eyes Water!

Bargis Tryhol, the man with the world's largest penis, was discharged from hospital early yesterday, and he's already ruffling feathers among the great unwashed on the European side of the Atlantic. Tryhol, has spent the best part of a week in rec...
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Funny story:  Gordon Brown:  The Terminator.

Gordon Brown: The Terminator.

London, ENGLAND: Nothing can stop the seemingly unstoppable cyborg financial assassin Gordon Brown, who has been sent back from the year 2029 by a collective of artificially intelligent computer-controlled machines bent on the financial exterminatio...
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Funny story:  Cambridge congestion charge chronicle continues

Cambridge congestion charge chronicle continues

In addition to the absurd things that Cambridge are doing to increase congestion in the city, traffic calming ideas are sprouting all over the place. A Spokesperson said, "the best form of traffic calming is another vehicle coming the other way, s...
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Funny story:  Swiss euthanasia clinc dumped hundreds of suicide tourists - er, remains! - in lake

Swiss euthanasia clinc dumped hundreds of suicide tourists - er, remains! - in lake

Zurich - (RIP mess): For decades the Dignit-arse Clinic of Zurich has prided itself on its funeral parlor pledge of beautiful endings in tasteful surroundings. Last weekend police divers were called out to Lake Zurich after some crab fishermen ina...
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Funny story:  EU Slips on Greece Spot, Falls on its Arse and Can't Get Up!

EU Slips on Greece Spot, Falls on its Arse and Can't Get Up!

Naysayers pointed with alarm today as Financial Markets reacted to the down grading of Greece's ability to repay enormous loans, rating their bonds S-8, which unofficially is lower than whale shit on the bottom of the ocean. Also down graded was...
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Funny story:  A Cat Named Beryl

A Cat Named Beryl

I like animals, I really do. But I don't believe in getting all sentimental about them. As an avid consumer of beef, lamb, chicken, pork etc - I just think it would be a bit hypocritical to pretend to be an animal 'lover.' But then I don't think animals should be caged either. A python or a rabbit or whatever looks far better in its natural environment than behind bars or glass. A bird looks be...
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Funny story:  Brenda Song Says She is The Biological Daughter of Dancing With The Stars Judge Carrie Ann Inaba

Brenda Song Says She is The Biological Daughter of Dancing With The Stars Judge Carrie Ann Inaba

KALAMAZOO, Michigan - Disney Channel super star and singing sensation Brenda Song was in town as the official Grand Marshall of Kalamazoo's 49th Annual Automotive Parts Parade. The 22-year-old recently had a world wide number one hit single with t...
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Funny story:  Kristen Stewart will be crowned May Queen at Walpurgis Night rave

Kristen Stewart will be crowned May Queen at Walpurgis Night rave

London - (Maypole): The countdown to Saturday's Pagan New Year's Day sees the Twilight star invited to a Walpurgis Night rave high up on London's Hampstead Heath. Not to be outdone by Buffy the Vampire Slayer's Cordelia Chase being crowned May Que...
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Funny story:  The IPL, Indian Premier League of cricket has proven that it is not corrupt but loves bowling bendy googlies!

The IPL, Indian Premier League of cricket has proven that it is not corrupt but loves bowling bendy googlies!

Before the final of this years IPL cricket season the chairman, after being hounded by the press, told the world and Indian cricket fans that he is in no way corrupt, but certainly loves bowling a "dodgy, bendy googly"! It is one of the best well...
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Funny story:  Tiger Woods Agrees To Scotch Tape His Hands To His Bedsheets To Prove Innocence

Tiger Woods Agrees To Scotch Tape His Hands To His Bedsheets To Prove Innocence

Tiger Woods, determined to spike rumors that he has been having carnal knowledge with himself, agreed to scotch tape his hands to his bedsheets. Having tired of answering questions about his sex life and finding it impossible to arrange clandestine...
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Funny story:  Gordon Brown Cancels Final Debate

Gordon Brown Cancels Final Debate

Overwhelmed during the first two debates, Prime Minister Gordon Brown has canceled the final debate, claiming his schedule as Prime Minister. Instead, he has decided on a Dancing With The Stars kind of contest where each candidate will perform a dan...
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Funny story:  Tiger Woods' latest Ghost from the Past - a dead  English poet!

Tiger Woods' latest Ghost from the Past - a dead English poet!

NYC (Agencies): Even a win at the Bethpage Black Golf Course here in New York City didn't temper Tiger Woods' temper at what he described as 'defamation' by the long-deceased English poet William Blake. "It's bad enough that the media's been pla...
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Funny story:  O' Halloran: The Stamp of Death: Part 5

O' Halloran: The Stamp of Death: Part 5

- WARNING: THIS STORY CONTAINS WANKING AND SEXUAL REFERENCES TO SEX AND SHIT- Part 1|Part 2|Part 3| Part 4 Part 5 Street - 6.58AM O' Halloran, Chief McMurtagh, Time-traveling English gentleman detective Pip and sultry Detective Suicide Jones leave the apartment to the crime scene investigation crew and wander back to their cars. The Chief opens the door, but pauses before g...
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Funny story:  Shopping for kingmakers

Shopping for kingmakers

Nick Clegg tells the nation time and time again that they, the electorate are the kingmakers, not him. The three wise men, Brown, Cameron and Clegg are not being honest about the cuts we should all expect, no matter who triumphs in the General Ele...
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Funny story:  Adam Lambert & Robert Pattinson Head Up Girlie Softball Team In  Larry King "Cougar" Showdown Reality Show: Who's Got Balls!

Adam Lambert & Robert Pattinson Head Up Girlie Softball Team In Larry King "Cougar" Showdown Reality Show: Who's Got Balls!

In a new Reality Show that will emphasize athletic ability over mental vapidness,TLC announced the first showdown between an All Star Cast of women's 'soft ball' contestants recruited from the Entertainment Industry. Due to morbid interest in the...
View 'Adam Lambert & Robert Pattinson Head Up Girlie Softball Team In  Larry King "Cougar" Showdown Reality Show: Who's Got Balls!'
Funny story:  England Can Win The World Cup

England Can Win The World Cup

After many debates with his mates, Scot, Gary McPhail, has worked out that England, will fail to win the World Cup without help. Seven things need to be done for England to win the World Cup In June. 1) Dawn French is appointed goalkeeper so that there is little or no room for the opposition to score a goal. 2) The referee, and linesmen would need to all be English so all disputed decisio...
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Funny story:  SuBo fanatics buy her old house

SuBo fanatics buy her old house

Susan Boyle red scarf wearing fanatics were last night starting yet another collection to buy her old council house. The house will then be dismantled brick-by-brick and rebuilt in California, where it will be blessed and turned into a shrine. It wil...
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Funny story:  Solar Flares Halt All Air Traffic

Solar Flares Halt All Air Traffic

New York, NY-- All air traffic came to an immediately halt today, following reports of new solar eruptions. All flights have been suspended until at least next week, or until government scientists say is is safe. Government scientists fear a massiv...
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Funny story:  Pope Joins Mile High Club on Virgin Airline Flight to Nirvana

Pope Joins Mile High Club on Virgin Airline Flight to Nirvana

In a matter of seconds the entire perception of the Vatican was changed when Pope Benedict did the unthinkable but also the most miraculous item a pontiff could embrace. In succumbing to the natural order of men and women the Pope met, married, and c...
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Funny story:  Palin Hopes to Woo Brown with Speech to Naturist-Christians Group

Palin Hopes to Woo Brown with Speech to Naturist-Christians Group

San Bernardino, CA - When Sarah Palin was approached back in September of last year to speak at a gathering of Christian nudists who were interested in opening a nudist chapter of the Tea Party Movement, she respectfully declined, not wanting to upse...
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Funny story:  Massive increase in Social Services taking children into care

Massive increase in Social Services taking children into care

Responding to the criticism of all Social Services departments across the UK over the handling of the Baby P case, West Nowhere Social Services are taking a much more pro-active approach. "We do not want to be caught with our pants down," a spokes...
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Funny story:  Larry King Holds Team Meeting &  Cancels Divorce; Says: We've Decided to Keep It All In the Family!

Larry King Holds Team Meeting & Cancels Divorce; Says: We've Decided to Keep It All In the Family!

Aging Cougar Manager Larry King, under pressure for striking out in the clutch lately, held a closed door team meeting with his wife, mistress, and 7 former wives to 'clear the air' in an effort to raise team morale, and stop his current slump at the...
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Funny story:  Pete Rose Sits on Kiana Kim; Pete Rose

Pete Rose Sits on Kiana Kim; Pete Rose

Still hawking what Rose himself would describe as a conservative and improved overall public image, recent appearances with new girlfriend Kiana Kim, paint the once famous baseball player in a completely different, and less than wholesome light. T...
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Funny story:  Cambs school cuts parental communication to save money

Cambs school cuts parental communication to save money

A Cambridgeshire school announced their latest idea to save money - ban parents. A spokeswoman said,"We find parents sticking their noses into what we are doing at school is very wasteful in staff time and completely counter-productive as WE are t...
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Funny story:  Derek Acorah finishes Mammoth Tour

Derek Acorah finishes Mammoth Tour

Psychic megastar and all round good egg, Derek Acorah has finished his latest tour to rave reviews, and has returned home to Southport to recuperate. Although the show was entitled "The Mammoth Tour", Acorah never actually managed to contact a mam...
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Funny story:  Super telescope site chosen - Erin Andrews not happy

Super telescope site chosen - Erin Andrews not happy

Erin Andrews, the well-known ESPN reporter, is said to be furious following an announcement that a site has been chosen for the European Extremely Large Telescope (E-ELT), which astronomers have said is so powerful it will easily be able to see dista...
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Funny story:  Pre-botox royal portrait shows Queen has cellulite on her face

Pre-botox royal portrait shows Queen has cellulite on her face

London - (PiccArso): "It's a lasting impression," National Gallery sources said today, "maybe left by someone who's been sitting on her face." The comment comes as yet another 'warts 'n' all' painting of Queen Elizabeth is unveiled showing the so...
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Funny story:  Southport controversially win the Conference North

Southport controversially win the Conference North

Southport football club have won the Conference North, 2009-2010 in controversial circumstances, beating local rivals Fleetwood Town by one point. Earlier in the season, Farceley were expelled from the league for not having a team, stadium, money...
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Funny story:  Bargis Tryhol Is Back From Penis Surgery, Says: I'm Bigger & Better Than Ever and My Back Don't Hurt!

Bargis Tryhol Is Back From Penis Surgery, Says: I'm Bigger & Better Than Ever and My Back Don't Hurt!

The self proclaimed man with the World's Largest Penis is back from an emergency medical procedure undertaken in Papua, Indonesia, where he was fitted with a new 'Penis Gourd" with a zipper in order to relieve stress. According to Doctor's involve...
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Funny story:  Smegma Falls, Idaho; Voted World's Worst Named City

Smegma Falls, Idaho; Voted World's Worst Named City

Facing stiff but often laughable competition from around the world, Smegma Falls, Idaho has won the prestigious title of World's Worst Named City in 2010. Though their city name had been in the running as a finalist the last several years, losing...
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Funny story:  Shock as report reveals police may have killed Blair Peach

Shock as report reveals police may have killed Blair Peach

After only 31 years, a police report has been issued which states that protestor Blair Peach may have been killed by a policeman. 'This has come as an absolute shock,' a friend of the New Zealander's said. 'No one could even have guessed that. ' S...
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Funny story:  Ukraine 'blackmailed' over Russian naval base lease

Ukraine 'blackmailed' over Russian naval base lease

Tensions are again running high in Eastern Europe after Ukraine ratified a 25-year extension to a lease on the Russian naval base located in the Crimean port of Sebastopol. Chaotic scenes were the order of the day in the Ukrainian parliament as th...
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Funny story:  Stephen Hawking warns of wheelchair stealing Aliens

Stephen Hawking warns of wheelchair stealing Aliens

After years of sarcastically telling us that ET isn't going to come down and shoot us with his ray gun Mr Hawking has done an about face. For years Hawking has told us how the Universe worked and in his spare time has watched science fiction movie...
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Funny story:  Iceland's Ash Clear Up Begins: Dyson's Cyclone Technology 'Useless'

Iceland's Ash Clear Up Begins: Dyson's Cyclone Technology 'Useless'

The monumental task of clearing up the fall-out from Iceland's Eyjafjallajoekull volcano has begun in earnest today, with some questions being raised about the quality of equipment provided. Iceland spokesperson, Kerry Katona, said, "No loss of su...
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Funny story:  Chimps feel death - Just like humans

Chimps feel death - Just like humans

Hot on the heels of our exclusive last week - Ape research points the way to origin of religion - comes the results of yet more studies supporting the hypothesis that apes may be evolving their own religion. In one study a group of scientists from...
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Funny story:  Paris Hilton Is Nancy Pelosi?

Paris Hilton Is Nancy Pelosi?

Life's A Bitch Films announced shooting is about to begin on a new film and that Paris Hilton will portray the title character believed to be based on Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi. The major Hollywood feature film is tentatively entitled Spe...
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Funny story:  Who are the real Nazis in the UK?

Who are the real Nazis in the UK?

Demonstrators turned up outside Broadcasting House in London yesterday protesting because of Nick Griffin, leader of the BNP, and his election broadcast. The strange thing is that the BNP are being called Racists & Nazis by people who are more...
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Funny story:  Cameron from Blue to Green

Cameron from Blue to Green

David Cameron is now trying the green policy in an attempt to gain votes. Yesterday he outlined the Tory Tree Policy which included a tree to be planted for every child in England, which was immediately attacked by people in Wales, Scotland and North...
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Funny story:  The Curious Case of the Caring Chimps

The Curious Case of the Caring Chimps

It has always been the believe of most humans, that animals, don't have feelings but that myth, was without a doubt blown away recently when a group of chimpanzees, were filmed caring for a dying female chimp, at Blair Drummond Safari Park in Stirlingshire. As the elderly female chimp called Pansy, lay dying others in the group stroked her head and made her comfortable. Her daughter Rosie, even...
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Funny story:  Robert Pattinson  says Dawn is really really big even bigger than that Volcanic Dust Cloud

Robert Pattinson says Dawn is really really big even bigger than that Volcanic Dust Cloud

Robert Pattinson commented on Dawn, that is Dawn French, after she was photographed returning from a Caribbean holiday on a Jumbo Jet. "Dawn looks bigger than ever" said Pattinson "She looks like she could be mistaken for the biggest Sumo Wrestler th...
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Funny story:  Robert Pattinson Staunchly Proclaims That Contrary To The Vicious Rumors He Is Not Gay

Robert Pattinson Staunchly Proclaims That Contrary To The Vicious Rumors He Is Not Gay

CRICKLEWOOD, England - Robert Pattinson and his constant companion Kristen Stewart were in town to attend The Yearly Cricklewood Crumpet Cooking Contest. Pattinson, who has recently been spending some of his free time down on his South Texas Ranch...
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Funny story:  Dancing With The Stars: Maksim Chmerkovskiy Says That Len "The Grouchy Brit" Goodman Needs To Retire!

Dancing With The Stars: Maksim Chmerkovskiy Says That Len "The Grouchy Brit" Goodman Needs To Retire!

HOLLYWOOD - Dancing With The Stars judges Bruno Tonioli and Carrie Ann Inaba gave Erin Andrews and her dance partner Maksim Chmerkovskiy a 9 each, but English judge Len Goodman gave them a 7. When the 7 was announced Maksim looked into the camera...
View 'Dancing With The Stars: Maksim Chmerkovskiy Says That Len "The Grouchy Brit" Goodman Needs To Retire!'
Funny story:  Kate Gosselin is Considering Taking Legal Action Against Dancing With The Stars

Kate Gosselin is Considering Taking Legal Action Against Dancing With The Stars

READING, Pennsylvania - Kate Gosselin, the mother on the cancelled reality show, Jon and Kate Plus 8, and Dancing With The Stars castoff has stated that she is seriously considering suing the reality dancing show. Gosselin said that the only reaso...
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Funny story:  Dog The Bounty Hunter Nabs Randy and Evi Quaid

Dog The Bounty Hunter Nabs Randy and Evi Quaid

Dog the Bounty Hunter and his wife, Beth, killed two birds with one stone, actually three birds with one stone, on Monday when they captured Randy Quaid and his wife, Evi for failure to appear on a warrant and jumping bail. The Quaids were accompanie...
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Funny story:  Ban on Smacking Kids Backfires. 70,000 Hoodies Raise Hell in London

Ban on Smacking Kids Backfires. 70,000 Hoodies Raise Hell in London

The recent decision to ban 'smacking' of children in the UK has turned London into a hellhole of mischief. The call for the ban was a knee jerk reaction to the recent court case where a teacher beat the cuff out of a student with a dumbbell after...
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Funny story:  Donna Gets Another Zit

Donna Gets Another Zit

Donna, the sophomore who wears bangs to cover up her zitty forehead, got another zit today, except this time it wasn't on her forehead as usual, it was on her butt! Horrified, the crafty teenager put some Nozema on her butt on Tuesday night. That...
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