Funny story: Jon Gosselin Files Court Papers For It To Be "Jon Plus 8 Minus Kate"

Jon Gosselin Files Court Papers For It To Be "Jon Plus 8 Minus Kate"

PITTSBURGH - Jon Gosselin the former Jon of the old reality show Jon and Kate Plus 8, has filed documents in the state court that state that he wants the kids taken away from their mother Kate, aka "King Kate," and custody given to him. Jon stated...
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Funny story: TV Listings

TV Listings

My TV was listing to larboard, so I propped it up on the other side with a copy of "The Blue Peter Guide to Hegelian Philosophy". Then it was listing to the starboard side, so I shoved a copy of "The Bible in Morse Code" on the larboard side. However, it was then listing to larboard again. At this point I became confused between larboard and starboard, as I had to go behind the TV to adjust...
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Funny story: Jenny McCarthy Dumps Jim Carrey's Unfunny Butt

Jenny McCarthy Dumps Jim Carrey's Unfunny Butt

HOLLYWOOD - The land of celluloid, aka Gollywood is a funny place. Things that appear to be this are really that, and things that appear to be that are really this. Marriages that seem happy are sad, and marriages that seem sad are happy, even if...
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Funny story: Solipsistic Obama Denies Existence Of Islamic Terrorism

Solipsistic Obama Denies Existence Of Islamic Terrorism

Having examined his "inner self" and finding nothing, it begs the question; is Barack Obama real or merely a meaningless dot in the shifting sands of nihilistic solipsism? Understandably, most of us have not examined ourselves in this way because...
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Funny story: More New Books

More New Books

with Tilly Wrestleman "Ten Ways to Dance with Joy" by Laura Pundle It was Mrs Pundle who gave us "The World is a Joy Boat" in 1987. She returns 20 years later with this "guide for those in sadness and signpost to the light". Are you "in despair of your attainments"? Do you long for "pure bliss of getting the things you want"? Let Mrs Pundle show you how to "unwrap those delightful parcels...
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Funny story: Wayne Rooney and Manchester United limp out of the Champions League

Wayne Rooney and Manchester United limp out of the Champions League

England's last hope of having a team in the semi-finals of the Champion's League for the eighth year in a row ended as Manchester United were knocked out by Bayern Munich. Europe celebrated as the English monopoly came to an end but England commis...
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Funny story: Tomorrow is National Knock a Cyclist Over Day

Tomorrow is National Knock a Cyclist Over Day

Have you ever been annoyed when a cyclist undertakes you while you're stuck in a 2 mile traffic jam for hours and hours and wanted to open your passenger door so the bike slams into it and sends its passenger into temporary orbit? Have you ever wa...
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Funny story: Masters Grant Woods Dispensation: Will Play in PopeMobile Golf Cart Due to "Chronic Penis Cramps."

Masters Grant Woods Dispensation: Will Play in PopeMobile Golf Cart Due to "Chronic Penis Cramps."

Golf history was made today as Tiger Woods received what can be compared to a "Papal Dispensation" as he was authorized to use an air conditioned, sound proofed Golf Cart normally reserved for the Pope when he plays 'around' when visiting the US.
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Funny story: Clarence House scotches rumour that Wills and Kate are secretly married. Charles-Camilla keeping mum

Clarence House scotches rumour that Wills and Kate are secretly married. Charles-Camilla keeping mum

LONDON - UK: The Royal rags and Tabloid headlines have been screaming: "Prince William proposes to Kate Middleton" "Wills and Kate to announce engagement" "UK set for Royal wedding" "Wedding hint from Wills and Kate" "November weddin...
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Funny story: Dancing With The Stars: Chad Ochocinco Irritated by Judge Len Goodman

Dancing With The Stars: Chad Ochocinco Irritated by Judge Len Goodman

HOLLYWOOD - "Big Bad" Chad Ochocinco says that he is fed up with judge Len Goodman's negative comments on his dancing. The Cincinnati Bengals player said that he has tried to ignore the old geezers remarks but states that he is sick and tired of t...
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Funny story: Among The New Books

Among The New Books

with Tilly Wrestleman "Herb Puddings & Salves" by Julianna Blout Ms Blout is of the opinion that, among salves, "the very best and most efficacious are herbal". It is her conviction that "the neglect of herbal puddings has blighted modern society, for their benefits remain unnumbered and obscure". Not any more: 897 annotated pages have seen to that. How we might wish that the indefatig...
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Funny story: American Idol's Simon Cowell Says That Kara DioGuardi Smells A Whole Lot Prettier Than Ellen DeGeneres and Ryan Seacrest

American Idol's Simon Cowell Says That Kara DioGuardi Smells A Whole Lot Prettier Than Ellen DeGeneres and Ryan Seacrest

HOLLYWOOD - Simon Cowell, aka The Captain of Cutting Remarks, said that his fellow American Idol judge Kara DioGuardi smells a whole lot prettier than Ellen DeGeneres and Ryan Seacrest. Cowell made the remarks to Randy Jackson, about whom Cowell s...
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Funny story: Tiger Woods Considers the Priesthood

Tiger Woods Considers the Priesthood

Following yet another explosive news report where Tiger Woods is accused of an extra-marital affair, this time with a local girl he met when she was 14, Woods announced that he may leave golf and his wife in favor of a simpler life in the priesthood.
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Funny story: American's Finally Have The Ideal Black Man - But Still Want To Lynch Him

American's Finally Have The Ideal Black Man - But Still Want To Lynch Him

For decades white men have been awaiting the evolving of the black man. Usually stereotyped into such roles as the step-and-fetch-it submissive post-civil war Negro, or the violent, drug dealing Super Fly, the jive talking ever-hip huckster, the daughter raping threat to the community, the black power fisting Black Panther, or the gang banging, good for nothing ghetto dweller there were for decade...
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Funny story: Global warming a hoax! Chinese refrigerator manufacturers behind the ruse.

Global warming a hoax! Chinese refrigerator manufacturers behind the ruse.

Investigators have worked almost 16 months in a daring undercover operation, proving without a shadow of a doubt. that global warming is a true hoax. Chief investigator Myron Handy laid out the proof submitted by a cadre of international scientist...
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Funny story: Kate Gosselin May Quit Dancing With The Stars To Take Care of Her "Plus 8" Kids

Kate Gosselin May Quit Dancing With The Stars To Take Care of Her "Plus 8" Kids

READING, Pennsylvania - It is no secret that Kate Gosselin has got to be one of the worst contestants in the history of Dancing With The Stars. Even her dance instructor Tony Dovolani says that Kate has two left feet, no sense of rhythm whatsoever...
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Funny story: Cameron's spam ring

Cameron's spam ring

David Cameron announced today that the Conservatives would be using the internet to get their election message across. He said, "We have always been a bit poor with technology, so we really want to get on the bandwagon." Mr Cameron showed me a...
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Funny story: Green party blue about black future

Green party blue about black future

The Green Party has today begun campaigning ahead of the forthcoming general election in May. They got off to rather a slow start as power-saving measures at head office prevented the news from reaching them. Today they finally received a carrier pig...
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Funny story: Outrage as David Cameron goes cycling without a helmet on his head

Outrage as David Cameron goes cycling without a helmet on his head

Experienced cyclist and leader of the HisTory party in the UK, David Cameron, dropped a clanger today by riding his bike without wearing a safety helmet. In the UK this is not illegal but is advised. Our know it all silver spooned, buffoon who wan...
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Funny story: George Lopez Visits Sandra Bullock And Cheers Her Up By Cooking Her Some Enchiladas

George Lopez Visits Sandra Bullock And Cheers Her Up By Cooking Her Some Enchiladas

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Comedian George Lopez visited Sandra Bullock in her Hollywood Hills mansion Casa Vrrroom Vrrroom. The Latino comedian, is an excellent cook, and has won numerous culinary awards for some of his signature dishes including Scandina...
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Funny story: Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart send message at Twilight to Dawn

Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart send message at Twilight to Dawn

Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart sent a message at Twilight to Dawn, that is Dawn French the very big woman who is married to comedian Lenny Henry. Pattinson and Stewart expressed how sorry they are to hear of the split after 25 years of marria...
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Funny story: Dancing With The Stars: Astronaut Buzz Aldrin Moonwalks On Out The Exit Door

Dancing With The Stars: Astronaut Buzz Aldrin Moonwalks On Out The Exit Door

HOLLYWOOD - One of the oldest contestants to ever appear on Dancing With The Stars, 80-year-old ex-astronaut Buzz Aldrin, has danced on out the exit door. Buzz Aldrin, who has the distinction of being the second human being to step on the cheesy m...
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Funny story: "Chilly" Lesbians don't get the cold shoulder and are human after all!

"Chilly" Lesbians don't get the cold shoulder and are human after all!

A pair of "Chilly" lesbians have overturned a court order and shown the world that they are human after all! The court ruling initially disagreed with this fact and the Lesbo's had their children taken away because it was CHILLY. After appealin...
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Funny story: Pack of Gray Wolves Hunted Down Like Animals

Pack of Gray Wolves Hunted Down Like Animals

Butte, Montana - The surviving members of a pack of gray wolves have claimed innocence in the ongoing battle between sheep ranchers and environmentalists, after an entire flock of sheep was found dead without any sign of wolves in the area. "We w...
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Funny story: Full moon at Dawn

Full moon at Dawn

After 25 long years of marriage for Dawn French and Lenny Henry, it has been reported the reason behind their split. According to sources, chubby-funster Ricky Gervais, 48, sent a picture of his backside to French via mobile phone. Television per...
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Funny story: Mary Potter and the Tempest in Her Womb Part 2

Mary Potter and the Tempest in Her Womb Part 2

Mary Potter awoke from her restful sleep to a Dawn chorus. As she opened her pretty blue eyes she saw before her a vision which filled her with joy. Dawn French accompanied by some of her cast members from the Vicar of Dibley were singing her favourite hymn. "Onward Christian Soldiers". Mary smiled sweetly and when they had finished, Dawn sat bent down and gently asked Mary, "What is a sweet...
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Funny story: Stranger Than Truth: Sex and Death in the Great White North

Stranger Than Truth: Sex and Death in the Great White North

This week, the Stranger Than Truth crew answers an invitation to visit the great northlands and the small town of Wupupon, Wisconsin - Population 10,000. There are about 1.5 guys for every gal here... and a big ex-con population from the nearby prison jacks that figure to something like three or four males to every female. So when we got the chance to check this place out, we had to go. Loca...
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Funny story: Boris's Cock Missing!

Boris's Cock Missing!

Amazing events in London as it has been alleged Boris Johnson's cock has been kidnapped. Boris went to release his cock for its normal morning stretch and found it missing. After calling in the Police, scene of crime officers have carried out a th...
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Funny story: Whitney Houston Dumps European Tour Due to "Illness"

Whitney Houston Dumps European Tour Due to "Illness"

Announced suddenly by her gaggle of personal handlers, Whitney Houston will be dropping several European Tour dates due to an apparent "Upper Respiratory" infection. While symptoms of an upper respiratory disease would include loss of stamina and...
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Funny story: Brown goes for glory as all conquering head

Brown goes for glory as all conquering head

London, Wednesday. UK Prime Minister, Mr Gordon Brown, has announced today that, effective from noon tomorrow, the entire nation of Britain will become a one party republican state, with the Monarchy banished abroad and Brown ruling initially by decr...
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Funny story: Burnley footballer missing Scotland goes to the pub at half time

Burnley footballer missing Scotland goes to the pub at half time

Kevin McDonald, incurred the wrath of his bosses at Burnley FC when he went for a pint and a half with his dad after being substituted at half time. Burnley lost the match 6-1 against Manchester City, poor Kevin lost £5000 in a fine imposed by his an...
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Funny story: New Element Discovered by Scientists

New Element Discovered by Scientists

Long hypothesized as a missing link within compounds made from multiple known elements, scientists from the U.S. and Russia are about to announce the confirmation of a new entry that will be added to table of 115 known elements. Never able to exp...
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Funny story: "I don't want to fight you," aggressive muscle-bound guy tells you

"I don't want to fight you," aggressive muscle-bound guy tells you

A BAR SOMEWHERE - Despite dropping into a combat stance and ripping his shirt off, a hulking tough guy has informed you in no uncertain terms that engaging in one-on-one combat with you is the last thing he wants to do. "I don't want to fight you,...
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Funny story: Big Bird tears Elmo a new one

Big Bird tears Elmo a new one

Sesame street was this morning cordoned off by police after a serious sexual assault on one of its cast members. Police were first called to Sesame Street in the early hours of this morning after reports of a large drunken yellow bird shouting abu...
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Funny story: New Harry Potter Book Confirmed

New Harry Potter Book Confirmed

Rumours surrounding a new Harry Potter book have been doing the rounds for some time. Today J. K. Rowling, author of the Harry Potter books announced that, due to overwhelming public requests (and a big fine) there will be a new chapter in Harry's li...
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Funny story: Angelina Jolie: Pregnant!

Angelina Jolie: Pregnant!

Rumours are rife around Hollywood at the moment about Angelina Jolie and yet another pregnancy. On the set of her new movie, insiders have revealed that she was unavailable first thing because she was suffering from severe bouts of nausea, whilst...
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Funny story: Jesse James / Kate Gosselin Sex Tape Revealed

Jesse James / Kate Gosselin Sex Tape Revealed

While Sandra Bullock had scoffed at the existence of a sex tape between herself and nearly estranged hubby, Jesse James, one reportedly may exist between the motorcycle bad boy and Kate Gosselin. Kate Gosselin, now infamous for her treatment of fo...
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Funny story: Vote SuBo!

Vote SuBo!

Susan Boyle sensationally announced last night that she is to stand for Parliament. Contesting the West Lothian seat, she will stand as an independent calling herself the 'SuBo Party'. "Och, I'll show 'em! There'll be nae more crap with me in char...
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Funny story: Dawn French: I Left Lenny For Peter Andre

Dawn French: I Left Lenny For Peter Andre

Comedy legend, Dawn French, has today revealed the real reason behind her split with another comedy legend, Lenny Henry. In an interview with Sir Morgan of Talent, Dawn revealed, "I've been following Peter Andre since Mysterious Girl, I guess I'v...
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Funny story: Ant & Dec warned off for wanting to join the Geordie Nationalists Party

Ant & Dec warned off for wanting to join the Geordie Nationalists Party

Anthony McPartlin, & Declan Donnelly, otherwise known as Ant & Dec,the comedy duo from Newcastle wanted to join the Geordie Nationalist Party to get a fairer deal for Geordie's but they have been warned they could lose their lucrative TV deal...
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Funny story: Katie Price: Brighton Theme Park Plan

Katie Price: Brighton Theme Park Plan

Buxom botoxed blinged-up beauty Katie Price has revealed plans to open her own theme park, just like her idol Dolly Parton. Chav Vegas will open it's doors to the public sometime next year and will replace the site of the burned out West Pier in B...
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Funny story: Heston Blumenthal meets Peter Crouch and says: You're Bloomin Tall

Heston Blumenthal meets Peter Crouch and says: You're Bloomin Tall

Heston Blumenthal the chef who makes such strange things like snail porridge, and lickable wallpaper, met Peter Crouch today with a view to making another one of these boring Chef and Celebrity Television specials. When introduced to Peter Crouch,...
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Funny story: Michael Jackson's Doctor Conrad Murray allowed to keep his licence

Michael Jackson's Doctor Conrad Murray allowed to keep his licence

A judge in the USA has allowed Michael Jackson's Doctor to keep his medical licence even although he is charged with manslaughter. The murdering Doctor in the UK Doctor Harold Shipman was allowed to keep his medical licence even although many peo...
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Funny story: Comedy Duo Go Solo

Comedy Duo Go Solo

The world of comedy is today in mourning after the tragic news that the king and queen of giggles, Lenny Henry and Dawn French, are set to split after 25 years of marriage. D-Len, Denny, Lawn or however you knew them announced last night that they...
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Funny story: Lady Gaga claims she was Lady Ha Ha

Lady Gaga claims she was Lady Ha Ha

Lady Gaga claims that she was laughed at and bullied in school, when she appeared to do her latest sexy photo shoot. GaGa said "School Bullies called me fat and laughed at my appearance". With here eccentric outfits, and outrageous make up now mil...
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Funny story: Nurse loses in crucifix row but receptionist allowed to wear a Burka

Nurse loses in crucifix row but receptionist allowed to wear a Burka

Nurse Shirley Chaplin, 54, has lost her battle to wear a crucifix at work after a judge ruled she should have compromised with hospital bosses. Meanwhile on a visit to my local hospital I noticed the receptionist was wearing a Burka, so no wonder...
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Funny story: Tiger Woods says it started with a kiss

Tiger Woods says it started with a kiss

Tiger Woods is due to make his comeback in the Augusta Masters after months away from the golf course. Tiger has not played since last November, when it was discovered he had more birdies of the golf course than on. When asked about all the problems...
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Funny story: US to outsource Secretary of Treasury job

US to outsource Secretary of Treasury job

The work of the United States' Treasury Secretary is being replaced by a call center in New Delhi. Treasury secretary, Tim Geithner, is on an official trip to India to begin the job of training the replacements for him and his staff. The 24/7...
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Funny story: Spoof-Writers Added to Endangered Species List

Spoof-Writers Added to Endangered Species List

Comcast's president, David Cohen, said today, "there will be no place for Spoof-Writers on tomorrow's Internet. These folks might as well just pack it up, and find something else to do with their time, because we aren't going to give them a forum, a...
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Funny story: Conservatives Need To Come Out Of The Closet Over Gay Vote Says Mayor Gavin Newsome Of San Francisco

Conservatives Need To Come Out Of The Closet Over Gay Vote Says Mayor Gavin Newsome Of San Francisco

In a private, off the record conversation with a British businessman at a fundraiser in San Francisco, the Mayor of the Bay City, Gavin Newsome said that if the Conservative Party were to have any chance of evolving into a credible government, then t...
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Funny story: Viking Long Ships spotted in North Sea

Viking Long Ships spotted in North Sea

The North Sea: Three Viking long ships where spotted in the North sea today off the coast of England in what appears to be some sort of extremely delayed retaliation attempt for the "Battle of Stamford Bridge" in 1066. Locals thought it to be som...
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Funny story: Michael Jackson Mystery Deepens - Casket Disturbed - Sightings Reported

Michael Jackson Mystery Deepens - Casket Disturbed - Sightings Reported

Bizarre times in Los Angeles - The LAPD have revealed that in the past two weeks they have received a spate of calls from concerned citizens reporting that they've encountered Michael Jackson stalking the night time streets of the Los Angeles metropo...
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Funny story: Secret Space Base Revealed

Secret Space Base Revealed

Ex government minister Cecil Parkinson, the wrinkly old Tory who was caught firing his spodge up his secretary Sara Keays, has revealed that the government established a secret base on Mars during the 1982 Falklands War. According to our Cess, "Ma...
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Funny story: Desperate house wife Not so Desperate

Desperate house wife Not so Desperate

thestig managed to catch up with the lovely Nicolette Sheridan today outside the high court in Mississippi. The ex Housewives star who accused the E4 shows creators of wrongfully terminating her contract and sexually assaulting her, has won her la...
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Funny story: Robert Pattinson And Kristen Stewart Cheer From The Stands As Messi Puts Four Past Arsenal

Robert Pattinson And Kristen Stewart Cheer From The Stands As Messi Puts Four Past Arsenal

It remains unclear how it happened, but what we do know is that Twilight sweethearts Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart were cheering from the stands last night as Lionel Messi put four goals past Arsenal. A young woman seated close to the glamo...
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Funny story: Rosie Webster says it's a damn lie, it wasn't in the script and you made it up

Rosie Webster says it's a damn lie, it wasn't in the script and you made it up

Unfounded rumours and scurrilous stories about the born again thingy doing things with a girl on Corrie are the product of a nasty, vicious lowlife says Rosie Webster. "I get all the hot, steamy scenes" pouted Rosie, pushing her oversized front b...
View 'Rosie Webster says it's a damn lie, it wasn't in the script and you made it up'
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