Written by bubblyian
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Topics: School, Education

Tuesday, 27 April 2010

A Cambridgeshire school announced their latest idea to save money - ban parents.

A spokeswoman said,"We find parents sticking their noses into what we are doing at school is very wasteful in staff time and completely counter-productive as WE are the educational experts and WE know best."

"We have decided that instead of holding parent-teacher events in the evening, where they were very well attended, but teachers have to do over-time and that has to be paid for, we have decided to hold these parents 'evenings' during the school day."

"From now on, if parents want to meet their children's teachers informally, they can sit in on their children's 'mentoring sessions' during the lunch-hour, but they are not allowed to say anything. These ten-minute sessions are an opportunity for the children to raise issues with their form teachers."

"Alternatively, parents can contact the school and make a specific appointment with a specific subject teacher. Questions must be submitted in advance. These appointments can be made at a mutually convenient time immediately after school."

Diana Led, a parent of a child at the school said,"I am disgusted! I work until 6pm and would have to take the day off to attend at lunch-time. This is totally unacceptable!"

Ms Led continued, "I liked the opportunity at parents evenings to chat to teachers about how my child was doing, BEFORE problems occurred."

"Now I have to wait until there is a problem and then raise it with the specific subject teacher and travel into the school specially for this. 1 separate trip for each subject means 8 separate trips in total. This is ridiculous."

When our reporter asked the school spokeswoman how this was in the children's best interests and putting the child at the centre of everything they do, she replied, "We know best! This will save 25% of our budget. Everyone knows that money is more important than children's education."

We look forward to seeing more of this school's children going straight to prison on leaving school.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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