Written by queen mudder
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Tuesday, 27 April 2010

image for Pre-botox royal portrait shows Queen has cellulite on her face
This one's had heavy royal heir-brushing

London - (PiccArso): "It's a lasting impression," National Gallery sources said today, "maybe left by someone who's been sitting on her face."

The comment comes as yet another 'warts 'n' all' painting of Queen Elizabeth is unveiled showing the sort of dimples normally found on lardarse bots like Susan Boyle's.

Previous dodgy royal portraits have included the 1996 'raw pork sausage fingers' rendition by Anthony Williams, described by art critics as hideous but honest.

Then in 2005 Rolf Harris prduced the 'cross-eyed Costa Del Sol gangster's moll' interpretation which hangs in the Met's Museum of Art Crime in the Isle of Dogs.

But star prize status is still held by Lucian Fraud's 2001 oil on canvas minature showing HM before her customary daily facial shave.

Art historians dubbed the painting iconic, thought-provoking but psychologically nauseating.

This week's unveiling by royal portraiture wannabe artist Rupert Alexander shows the Queen dressed in traditional white vestments normally associated with her sole lawfully-wedded spouse Mr Joseph Ratzinger.

Camilla is next to face the artist's easel.

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