In a matter of seconds the entire perception of the Vatican was changed when Pope Benedict did the unthinkable but also the most miraculous item a pontiff could embrace. In succumbing to the natural order of men and women the Pope met, married, and consummated a deal with an angelic stewardess who had served him while enroute to a Nirvana concert honoring Kurt Cobain in Aberdeen (Washington that is).
The incident began shortly after dinner where the airline had been testing 'Big Bamboo' the fascinating Australian sausage made from processed cane toad meat. As everyone knows the Vatican has been under siege for several decades due to the sexual misconduct many priests have engaged in particularly with little boys.
"I had a revelation of biblical proportions." The pope beamed with his lovely new bride at his side. "This whole scandal has been a way for me to see the truth. This action is not about sex. I cried with so many of the victims who had their innocence stolen and all I could think of was 'suffer the little children' and 'any who would do such as these harm' they have no forgiveness."
Benedict grabbed the papal bull by the horns and proclaimed the priesthood open for marriage and that celibacy is a means to an end and that ends in marriage. He also declared a Holy War on pedophiles and any member of the church engaged in such atrocity be prosecuted under the heaviest gavel of law. Priests around the world hailed the entry of the church into the 2nd century as a true miracle but there were a few disconsolate clergy.
"He will forever be known as Pope Benedict Arnold to me." A disgusted Cardinal Dick E. Diddle fumed. "The only reason I joined the priesthood was to benefit young boys. "As far as I am concerned he will rot in hell for his betrayal!"
We say go screw yourself Dick.