Written by Harold Q. Fuey
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Topics: Susan Boyle

Tuesday, 27 April 2010

image for SuBo fanatics buy her old house

Susan Boyle red scarf wearing fanatics were last night starting yet another collection to buy her old council house. The house will then be dismantled brick-by-brick and rebuilt in California, where it will be blessed and turned into a shrine. It will be managed by Elsewhere Properties, Inc. who will charge a $25 entry fee. It is thought that her former bedroom will be turned into a Tacky Gift Shop, selling a range of over-priced useless crap.

"The house belongs in the USA!" grinned a fanatic. "It really shouldn't be in Blackburn. I don't have a wealthy husband, so I can't afford to get there."

Meanwhile, fanatics were starting yet another collection to buy trees to plant around her new house. "We aim to raise $300,000, though that would actually be around $8.50 after our 'expenses' are taken into account," said one of the army of chief fanatics. "We need as many trees as possible to prevent attackers gaining access to her house from the river."

Fanatics are also planning to patrol the grounds of the new house.

"Nobody will get near the house without a red scarf!" boasted another chief fanatic. "Unless they know the password!"

It is believed the password will be "here's $25!"

"The only people Susan should be worried about are those wearing red scarves!" said a fan wearing a purple scarf.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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