Written by Mike Roberts
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Tuesday, 27 April 2010

image for Super telescope site chosen - Erin Andrews not happy
"Bloody hell. Look at those!" said Mr Barrett

Erin Andrews, the well-known ESPN reporter, is said to be furious following an announcement that a site has been chosen for the European Extremely Large Telescope (E-ELT), which astronomers have said is so powerful it will easily be able to see distant rocky planets beyond our Solar System.

Ms Andrews voiced her anger after discovering that the siting of the telescope, and its subsequent operation, was being managed by none other than Michael David Barrett, the man jailed for trying to sell 'peeping tom' videotapes of her naked in two hotel rooms.

"If this telescope can see millions of miles into space, checking out the local hotels, or even our homes, will be a walk in the park. How could they let a known pervert like Barrett anywhere near this thing?"

The European Southern Observatory (Eso), which controls the project, is said to be 'embarrassed and shocked' over what it has been told. "We had no idea about Mr Barrett's past history of peeping." said a spokesman for the organisation.

Mr Barrett is believed to have spent his time in prison following the Andrews case studying astrophysics, as part of their inmate education programme. Following his release, he used the PhD. qualification he obtained 'inside' to get a highly paid, senior management job with Eso.

He seems to have chosen Eso because of their work on the E-ELT and the fact that, being a European organisation, they were unlikely to have heard of his widely publicised criminal activities.

"He was a model employee and a good friend, I knew nothing of his 'shady' past." commented one of Mr Barrett's colleagues who wished to remain nameless.

Eso has promised to tighten its background checks on new employees and Mr Barrett has offered his resignation, which has been accepted.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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