Written by K.C. Bell
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Tuesday, 27 April 2010

image for Gordon Brown Cancels Final Debate
"I can do flamenco."

Overwhelmed during the first two debates, Prime Minister Gordon Brown has canceled the final debate, claiming his schedule as Prime Minister. Instead, he has decided on a Dancing With The Stars kind of contest where each candidate will perform a dance number and voters can take a better measure of the candidate through their dancing skills.

How Brown's schedule permits time for a televised dance number but not a final debate remains somewhat vague.

To brighten his image, Brown has decided to do a vigorous overhead hand clapping...

He can do that?

...heel hammering,

Amazing!

...flamenco dance.

Ever eager for Number 10, Tory leader David Cameron has agreed to replicate John Travolta's Saturday Night Fever dance, wearing the same white suit and shoes. Keen to demonstrate his agility gleaned through all those years cycling about, he welcomed the dance opportunity, insisting that he would not require a truss or any other undergarment for support.

Brown reasoned that if Cameron intended to wear the white Travolta suit, he would also go for color and wear a red suit. No, his people said, red would make him resemble Santa Claus. This threw the situation into another kind of debate. It was finally agreed upon that Brown would wear a maroon colored suit - more Andalusian wine than North Pole red.

Liberal Democrat front runner, Nick Clegg, (Who? Clegg, rhymes with plague.) will recreate the Singing In The Rain number originally performed by Gene Kelly.

Clegg's choice, sent Brown and his people into turmoil, the group arguing that such a dance number was a sure bet winner and there goes Number 10. Brown lamented at not having selected Singing In The Rain, although some critics would have immediately suggested that the title was a reflection of his administration and political skills. They debated whether they should schedule a third debate and dump, Dancing With The Candidates contest.

His dancing coach remain confident, insisting that Brown would perform a rip roaring flamenco dance and at the end could go for a full Monty, avoid the dreaded hung parliament and definitely keep Number 10 for Labour.

Right.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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