Funny story: Could American Politics Create Hyper-Alternate Quantum Vortex?

Could American Politics Create Hyper-Alternate Quantum Vortex?

Geneva, Switzerland - CERN scientists at the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) often study the most extreme states which can exist in the fabric of reality. Particle behavior within super-massive black holes ceases to fit the Proton-Electron model that all...

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Funny story: "Fish Zapping" Assisted by CIA Covert Operations

"Fish Zapping" Assisted by CIA Covert Operations

GRAND RIVERS, KENTUCKY - Television has chronicled the challenge of fishing for Bluefin Tuna in the North Atlantic. Outdoor sportsmen skillfully use Fly-Fishing to catch Rainbow Trout in mountain streams. However, this level of entertainment is not s...

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Funny story: L.A. Rams and New England Patriots Book Time to Meet With Obama

L.A. Rams and New England Patriots Book Time to Meet With Obama

Representatives of both the Rams and the Patriots talked to President Obama's people about the winner of the Super Bowl visiting Obama afterwards. This is following the example of the Golden State Warriors, who met with Obama following their NBA Cham...

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Funny story: First Lady Laura Bush Looking Buff

First Lady Laura Bush Looking Buff

WASHINGTON (AP) Wherever First Lady Laura Bush travels these days, people are remarking at how wonderful she looks. Visitors to the White House have noticed quite a change in Laura Bush's appearance. "She looks so… uh… healthy!&quo...

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Funny story: Trump Tries to Fix White House Leaks

Trump Tries to Fix White House Leaks

Washington, DC - Over the past few nights President Donald Trump has been waking up frustrated by all the leaks in the White House. Sources close to Trump report that Trump himself has called in the plumber to fix the leaks but he believes the plumb...

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Funny story: Steve Bannon's White House Decorator Revives "Whites Only" And "Colored" Bathrooms For Black History Month

Steve Bannon's White House Decorator Revives "Whites Only" And "Colored" Bathrooms For Black History Month

Besides eliminating the new all gender bathrooms in the White House, Steve Bannon's decorator is having the old Whites Only and Colored designations painted on the bathroom doors. Because the redecorating was announced during Black History Month,...

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Funny story: White House advertising for singers, dancers and choreographers for fall season!

White House advertising for singers, dancers and choreographers for fall season!

At a press briefing this morning, Sara Huckabee Sanders announced that the White House is advertising for the new fall season. Journalists were totally taken by surprise when she stated that President Trump was looking for singers, dancers, choreogra...

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Funny story: Colin Powell, Condoleezza Rica and Donald Rumsfeld Set to Retire at End of This Term

Colin Powell, Condoleezza Rica and Donald Rumsfeld Set to Retire at End of This Term

Reports from the White House recently suggest that if President George W. Bush manages to gain another four years in office several key players in his first four years will retire. National Security Advisor Condoleezza Rice, Secretary of Defense Dona...

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Funny story: Satan opens sink hole on White House lawn to shorten Trump's daily commute to Hell

Satan opens sink hole on White House lawn to shorten Trump's daily commute to Hell

What was originally reported as a geological event has been confirmed as a deliberate action taken by the Prince of Darkness. Satan has confirmed that the sink hole on White House property is actually a direct access point to Hell. "Donny was c...

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Funny story: Alternate Facts You Didn't Know About KellyAnne Conway!

Alternate Facts You Didn't Know About KellyAnne Conway!

Alternate Facts You Didn't Know About KellyAnne Conway! Sure, everyone KNOWS what the "fake media" says about KellyAnne Elizabeth Conway, but how much do we REALLY know about her? This intrepid reporter decided to find out, and went slogging through public records, numerous internet news sites, and the back pages of the National Inquirer to scope out the true alternate facts about the mysteriou...

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Funny story: Bush Relocates White House

Bush Relocates White House

In a surprise move today, White House Spokesmen announced that President George Bush had decided to relocate the White House and its staff to Albania.

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Funny story: New White House parrot uses Alexa plus offers up foul-mouthed diatribes

New White House parrot uses Alexa plus offers up foul-mouthed diatribes

Thanks to a generous parrot owner in London, the White House now has a new pet—the multi-talented Rocco, including his cursing. With a sigh, Marion Wischnewski, who previously rescued the parrot from a sanctuary where he was being expelled due to...

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Funny story: Goldman Sachs to Purchase White House and U.S. Executive Branch in LBO

Goldman Sachs to Purchase White House and U.S. Executive Branch in LBO

New York - After several current and former members of investment banking powerhouse Goldman Sachs took over operation of the White House while President Trump tended to his interests in real estate, reality television shows and tweeting, the firm an...

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Funny story: White House Will Fill Vacant Federal Jobs by Lottery

White House Will Fill Vacant Federal Jobs by Lottery

Mira-la-go, FL There are very many federal jobs left open that Trump has never filled. Also, of the people that Trump DID appoint, more are quitting every day. Therefore, since the Human Resources Department, the ones who do the hiring and firing,...

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Funny story: Toddler caught trying to break into White House

Toddler caught trying to break into White House

WASHINGTON, DC - A toddler squeezed his way through the fence of the White House late Thursday night. Secret Service agents quickly responded to the intrusion and handled the incident without any resistance from the intruder. Crying was heard by byst...

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Funny story: Communication Between Obama and Chief of Staff Devolves into Abbott and Costello Sketch

Communication Between Obama and Chief of Staff Devolves into Abbott and Costello Sketch

Washington, DC - China's President Hu Jintao (pronounced Hoo Jin-tou or, said quickly, 'who's in town?'), was scheduled to spend three days at the White House for a state visit, and was the first important item on President Obama's agenda since William Daley became the White House Chief of Staff. Everything was expected to be perfect and as such, President Obama relied on Daley to make sure everyt...

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Funny story: President Trump Trashes Oval Office

President Trump Trashes Oval Office

White House sources have confirmed that President Trump has caused considerable damage to the Oval Office. 'He turned over tables,' reported one source, 'upended chairs, ripped curtaining and threw paintings out of smashed windows onto the White H...

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Funny story: President George W. Bush Admits To 911 HOAX

President George W. Bush Admits To 911 HOAX

WASHINGTON D.C.--(ASSOCSHAT PRESS) President George Walker Bush was arrested at the White House today based upon clear evidence which surfaced proving that he masterminded 911 Hoax. Secret Service pe...

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Funny story: Chat rooms Banned At White House - Bush Seeks New Friends

Chat rooms Banned At White House - Bush Seeks New Friends

Washington D.C. - An announcement at a press conference here may change the circle of friends President Bush has chosen for himself.

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Funny story: White House to knock down left wing, build new right wing

White House to knock down left wing, build new right wing

In an unprecedented move for a second term president, the Bush administration today announced plans to knock down the left wing of the White House and build a new right wing.

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