PALM BEACH, Florida – (Satire News) – Ipso Facto News is reporting that the former resident of the White House, Donald Johnny Trump, refuses to believe that close to a thousand of his best friends are now sitting in prison.
He sat down and talked with IFN’s beautiful auburn-haired Fuchsia Garfunkel at a local McDonalds.
And right off-the-bat, he commented to her on how fabulously sexy she looked in her tight-fitting Daisy Duke short shorts.
She thanked him and asked him to please stop looking at her pubic region, as it was literally creeping her out beyond belief.
He replied that it’s just his lascivious nature and she’ll just have to accept it like all of his girlfriends, female friends, female relatives, and female reporters have always done.
The 303-pound perv, who has hundreds of nicknames, including Baby Fingers, Big Mac Belly, and Tamale Tummy, told her that the interview was over and he asked her to leave before he decides to sue her for being mean, bitter, and a racist.
She got up to leave, but before she did, she got in his orange face and told him, "You're really nothing to look at you old hamburger-smelling dried up pervert."
[EDITOR’S NOTE: Donald Trump was recently named by The Chicago Wind newspaper “The Rudest, Cruelest, Most Evil Man Since Adolf Hitler”].