WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – Ivanka Trump, who is her father’s most trusted adviser, has really been quite depressed lately.
And it’s not because her father contracted the Coronavirus, since she knew it was going to happen, due to the fact that the stubborn old geezer insisted that he was not going to wear those ugly-looking masks.
A White House insider said that, lately, Ivanka has had a horrendously disgusting yeast infection. She said that she has given up eating biscuits, muffins, bagels, and empanadas.
The insider noted that Ivanka has been in a horrible mood due to her lack of satisfaction, in her and husband Jared Kushner’s boudoir.
It is no secret that Jared’s sexual prowess is, on a scale of 1 to 10, a minus 2.
Ivanka confided to her sister, Tiffany, that she hasn't had an orgasm in 13 months.
The White House insider said that Ivanka has started fantasizing about a certain NBA player.
The woman who is known as “The White House Barbie” revealed to Tiffany, that if she was not married, she would jump on the NBA player like a pussy cat jumping on a cricket.