Funny story - He Has Risen: Pillsbury Doughboy, The New Messiah

He Has Risen: Pillsbury Doughboy, The New Messiah

Minneapolis (Bakers Daily News)-Spread the good news! Spread the butter! Spread the margarine! He gave his life to save the world of its breakfast sins! And today he is risen, to sit at the right hand of the eggs and morning...

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Funny story - Aldi Release Vegan Friendly New Snack

Aldi Release Vegan Friendly New Snack

The budget supermarket chain, Aldi, has announced it is releasing a vegan friendly 'add boiling water' snack that they insist does not contain any traces of meat, especially dog meat, after recent allegations that some processed food contained traces…

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Funny story - Triple Cooked Chips are so yesterday

Triple Cooked Chips are so yesterday

So popular in 2019, Triple Cooked Chips, like Hipsters are now a thing of the past, says a renowned expert. Patio Tulips, a Hipster since it became briefly fashionable to drink beer out of Jam Jars said in his book Man, that was so Yesterday 'Trip…

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Funny story - The US Health Federation Has Learned That Trump Steaks Were Actually 60% Kangaroo Meat

The US Health Federation Has Learned That Trump Steaks Were Actually 60% Kangaroo Meat

CHICAGO – (Satire News) – It seems like with each new day, the former “Golfer-in-Chief,” aka Donald J. Trump is hit with yet another investigation and follow-up charges. Trump’s latest investigation; an investigation into his Trump steaks, is cert…

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Funny story - Vice President Harris to address a bowl of tuna salad

Vice President Harris to address a bowl of tuna salad

The Vice President will travel to the headquarters of Subway sandwich shops to talk to a “large, restaurant style bowl of the famous Subway tuna salad.” A spokesperson for the Vice president emphasized that he bowl “was quite large and was the…

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Funny story - Naked Sushi Girls on Western Menu

Naked Sushi Girls on Western Menu

The Chinese government's ban on restaurants from serving food on the bodies of naked women has led to a flood of 'Sushi Suzies' trying to find work in the West. But initial reports indicate the culinary requirements of a different culture...

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Funny story - Lab-grown meat served in Asia as a delicacy

Lab-grown meat served in Asia as a delicacy

Weirdo News: Lab-grown human vagina lips will soon be available in restaurants in Singapore after the country became the first to green-light meat created without slaughtering any animals. Lab-grown human vagina meat to go on sale in Singapore in…

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Funny story - Norway Is Extremely Concerned About The Sardine Shortage

Norway Is Extremely Concerned About The Sardine Shortage

OSLO, Norway – (World Satire) – The government of Norway is very worried about the sardine shortage that has hit the Scandinavian country. Concern over the oily forage fish situation has all Norwegians worried-as-hell. The term sardine is also…

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Funny story - Couple arguing over the last twiglet

Couple arguing over the last twiglet

Gary and Lorraine Johnson have spent the last hour arguing over the last Twiglet. ‘I love Twiglets’ said Gary ‘but I hate Marmite, so if I want the taste of Marmite without the texture, I go for a Twiglet, but there was only one left, so I asked L…

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Funny story - President Trump Has Gained 47 Pounds Since He Lost The Election

President Trump Has Gained 47 Pounds Since He Lost The Election

WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – The President’s personal physician, Dr. Yang Fu Fi, says that he is very concerned about Trump having gained 47 pounds since getting soundly defeated in the presidential election. The doctor said that Trump has a…

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Funny story - One last swallow at Wembley Stadium

One last swallow at Wembley Stadium

LONDON, (Rooters) - A yankee woman, Maria O'Sullivan, pissed off a Londoner named Jack Cromwell, better known to his friends as the "Ripper," during a goal scored inside Wembley Stadium at the start of his country's World Cup qualifying game against…

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Funny story - The World's Most Famous Pizza Mascot Fired!

The World's Most Famous Pizza Mascot Fired!

IRVING, Texas - Chuck E. Cheese's mascot, the giant, hideous-looking rodent has been shooed out the front door. After 35 years of being the official spokesrat for one of America's leading children's pizza establishments Chuck E. will join the rank...

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Funny story - Nan puts sprouts on to boil for Christmas dinner

Nan puts sprouts on to boil for Christmas dinner

A nan has started preparing for Christmas by putting the sprouts on a low simmer to ensure they are at optimum indistinguishable mushiness on the big day. Veronica Perkins, 67, said, “I spend thirty-seven hours putting little crosses in 22,000 sp…

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Funny story - Zombie International Guide to Gastronomical Fine Brain Dining

Zombie International Guide to Gastronomical Fine Brain Dining

Having a hard time finding good fare in the U.S. with our obesity problem? Get your bad zombie self out of the country for truly international munchies. Here is our guide for the discriminating zombie who doesn’t want to ingest just anybody! For thos…

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Funny story - Danish Cheese Stinks

Danish Cheese Stinks

A tiny EU nation stuck above North Germany, home to Legoland, a naked mermaid, and Peter Schmeichel, is causing quite a stir across the North Sea. Those residing on the outer-periphery of EU unification are about to be invaded by something that ca…

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Funny story - Tinned fish giants produces Tuna-friendly dolphin

Tinned fish giants produces Tuna-friendly dolphin

Tinned fish giants have today announced their intention to start producing a range of tinned dolphin products which will all carry the label 'tuna friendly'.

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Funny story - Man In Potato Chips Advert Was Wearing Far Too Much Lipstick

Man In Potato Chips Advert Was Wearing Far Too Much Lipstick

A male actor in a TV advertisement for some potato chips, was wearing an extraordinary amount of lipstick, leading one viewer to think, not unreasonably, that the man might have been a homosexual. The chips, Jacks, a product by Calbee, are delicio...

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Funny story - The World’s First Transgender Sumo Wrestler Gets Her Ass Kicked

The World’s First Transgender Sumo Wrestler Gets Her Ass Kicked

KAGOSHIMA, Japan – (Sports Satire) – The Saki-Saki News Agency has stated that the world’s first transgender wrestler, Yamaha Wasabi, 37, has lost for the first time in her 12-month career. Wasabi, who weighs a whopping 521 pounds, was clobbered b…

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Funny story - Mother, 31, reveals 7p-a-day meal plans for struggling parents who can't afford to feed their children

Mother, 31, reveals 7p-a-day meal plans for struggling parents who can't afford to feed their children

A kind-hearted mother is battling the cost of living crisis by writing meal plans so struggling parents can feed a family of four for less than 28 pence a day - so they don't have to feel like they are 'poor'. Elizabeth Taylor (no relation), from…

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Funny story - Jane Goodall Opens A Chain Of Banana Shops

Jane Goodall Opens A Chain Of Banana Shops

Acclaimed monkey lady, Jane Goodall, has invested her life savings from monkeying around in Africa for all those years in a string of Banana Shops, after deciding there just aren't enough banana shoppes in the world. "I suppose we should have seen…

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