He Has Risen: Pillsbury Doughboy, The New Messiah
Minneapolis (Bakers Daily News)-Spread the good news! Spread the butter! Spread the margarine! He gave his life to save the world of its breakfast sins! And today he is risen, to sit at the right hand of the eggs and morning...
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Aldi Release Vegan Friendly New Snack
The budget supermarket chain, Aldi, has announced it is releasing a vegan friendly 'add boiling water' snack that they insist does not contain any traces of meat, especially dog meat, after recent allegations that some processed food contained traces…
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Triple Cooked Chips are so yesterday
So popular in 2019, Triple Cooked Chips, like Hipsters are now a thing of the past, says a renowned expert. Patio Tulips, a Hipster since it became briefly fashionable to drink beer out of Jam Jars said in his book Man, that was so Yesterday 'Trip…
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The US Health Federation Has Learned That Trump Steaks Were Actually 60% Kangaroo Meat
CHICAGO – (Satire News) – It seems like with each new day, the former “Golfer-in-Chief,” aka Donald J. Trump is hit with yet another investigation and follow-up charges. Trump’s latest investigation; an investigation into his Trump steaks, is cert…
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Vice President Harris to address a bowl of tuna salad
The Vice President will travel to the headquarters of Subway sandwich shops to talk to a “large, restaurant style bowl of the famous Subway tuna salad.” A spokesperson for the Vice president emphasized that he bowl “was quite large and was the…
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Naked Sushi Girls on Western Menu
The Chinese government's ban on restaurants from serving food on the bodies of naked women has led to a flood of 'Sushi Suzies' trying to find work in the West. But initial reports indicate the culinary requirements of a different culture...
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Virgin Mary grilled cheese sandwich attributed to Cheesus
Suit Would Force F.D.A. to Deregulate Added Salt
Subway introduces new Sandwich-in-a-Sandwich sandwich.
Jesus liked Lamb Chops controversy
Brussel Sprouts Still being disagreeable, again
Granny Sphincter's Pies win at FOODEX '09!
Man Ate Onion Chips, And Thoroughly Enjoyed Them
Scotch wife guilty of serving her husband shit vindaloo
Desperate FDA Encourages Americans to Get Comfortable in Their Bodies Just as They Are
McDonalds offers job to German cannibal
Strawberry Flavoured Ketchup is not a Big Seller
Naked Paris Hilton Endorses "Tongue Condom" For Weight Loss

Lab-grown meat served in Asia as a delicacy
Weirdo News: Lab-grown human vagina lips will soon be available in restaurants in Singapore after the country became the first to green-light meat created without slaughtering any animals. Lab-grown human vagina meat to go on sale in Singapore in…
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Norway Is Extremely Concerned About The Sardine Shortage
OSLO, Norway – (World Satire) – The government of Norway is very worried about the sardine shortage that has hit the Scandinavian country. Concern over the oily forage fish situation has all Norwegians worried-as-hell. The term sardine is also…
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Couple arguing over the last twiglet
Gary and Lorraine Johnson have spent the last hour arguing over the last Twiglet. ‘I love Twiglets’ said Gary ‘but I hate Marmite, so if I want the taste of Marmite without the texture, I go for a Twiglet, but there was only one left, so I asked L…
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President Trump Has Gained 47 Pounds Since He Lost The Election
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – The President’s personal physician, Dr. Yang Fu Fi, says that he is very concerned about Trump having gained 47 pounds since getting soundly defeated in the presidential election. The doctor said that Trump has a…
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One last swallow at Wembley Stadium
LONDON, (Rooters) - A yankee woman, Maria O'Sullivan, pissed off a Londoner named Jack Cromwell, better known to his friends as the "Ripper," during a goal scored inside Wembley Stadium at the start of his country's World Cup qualifying game against…
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The World's Most Famous Pizza Mascot Fired!
IRVING, Texas - Chuck E. Cheese's mascot, the giant, hideous-looking rodent has been shooed out the front door. After 35 years of being the official spokesrat for one of America's leading children's pizza establishments Chuck E. will join the rank...
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Nan puts sprouts on to boil for Christmas dinner
A nan has started preparing for Christmas by putting the sprouts on a low simmer to ensure they are at optimum indistinguishable mushiness on the big day. Veronica Perkins, 67, said, “I spend thirty-seven hours putting little crosses in 22,000 sp…
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Zombie International Guide to Gastronomical Fine Brain Dining
Having a hard time finding good fare in the U.S. with our obesity problem? Get your bad zombie self out of the country for truly international munchies. Here is our guide for the discriminating zombie who doesn’t want to ingest just anybody! For thos…
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Man In Potato Chips Advert Was Wearing Far Too Much Lipstick
A male actor in a TV advertisement for some potato chips, was wearing an extraordinary amount of lipstick, leading one viewer to think, not unreasonably, that the man might have been a homosexual. The chips, Jacks, a product by Calbee, are delicio...
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The World’s First Transgender Sumo Wrestler Gets Her Ass Kicked
KAGOSHIMA, Japan – (Sports Satire) – The Saki-Saki News Agency has stated that the world’s first transgender wrestler, Yamaha Wasabi, 37, has lost for the first time in her 12-month career. Wasabi, who weighs a whopping 521 pounds, was clobbered b…
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Mother, 31, reveals 7p-a-day meal plans for struggling parents who can't afford to feed their children
A kind-hearted mother is battling the cost of living crisis by writing meal plans so struggling parents can feed a family of four for less than 28 pence a day - so they don't have to feel like they are 'poor'. Elizabeth Taylor (no relation), from…
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Jane Goodall Opens A Chain Of Banana Shops
Acclaimed monkey lady, Jane Goodall, has invested her life savings from monkeying around in Africa for all those years in a string of Banana Shops, after deciding there just aren't enough banana shoppes in the world. "I suppose we should have seen…
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Wave of Fast-Food Mascot Serial Murders Has Police Baffled
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Ohio Officials Bust Amish Farmer for Selling "Milk Raw"
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Obese boy eats grandparents
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Big Fat F**ker eats the last sausage
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Cannibal Cop's Arrest Prompts Bloomberg To Limit Human Flesh Portions
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Julius Caesar gets attacked for eating sheep
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Joey “The Stud” Chestnut Easily Captures The Annual Nathan’s Famous July Fourth Hot Dog Eating Contest
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Food Vendors Formed Around Motorcycle Accident
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McDonalds Announces That Their Brand New McWow Burger Has 3 Amazing Ingredients
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Joey Chestnut, America’s Favorite Glutton, Wins Again
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FDA Puts off Contraceptive Decision, Agency in Trouble
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Pakistanis Envy Ronald McDonald's Feet
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McDonald's New McRibbit Sandwich Raises Brows
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Vagina Breakfast Platter?
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Woman Who Eats 'Only Lard' Reaches 100
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Puffin McMuffin.....on your menu?
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English Muffins' Famed "Nooks and Crannies" a Danger to Consumers?
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North Korean Restaurant Opens Next to Trump Tower: Receives Worm-Free Reviews
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Greggs Staff To Get £100 Voucher After "Phenomenal Year"
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A Harlem Pole Dancer Wins The Giant Cinnamon Roll Eating Contest