Man Opened Crackers, Only To Find Them Smashed To Smithereens
A man who found himself feeling a bit 'peckish', and decided to open up his packing-up and eat something before it was really time for his dinner, was horrified to discover that a packet of crackers he'd intended to scoff were smashed to bits. The...
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Greggs Staff To Get £100 Voucher After "Phenomenal Year"
Staff at Britain's best-loved pastry shop, Greggs, are to share in a £7million windfall bonus that has come after what the firm called "a phenomenal year" in trading. Shareholders received a £35m special dividend in October. Chief executive, An...
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Bread Was Mouldy
A loaf of bread that had been stored in a bread bin and forgotten about for two weeks, had turned 'mouldy', it's been revealed. The bread, which was an 800g medium-sliced Granary loaf, had been purchased on or around Saturday, 4 May, at Tesco, and...
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Pumpkin Chips Were Even Tastier Than Onion Chips!
A man who, only last week, revealed that some onion chips he purchased and ate during a roadside stop on the way home from a market were "delicious", has now said that a packet of pumpkin chips he bought a few days later were even more tasty than the...
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Man In Potato Chips Advert Was Wearing Far Too Much Lipstick
A male actor in a TV advertisement for some potato chips, was wearing an extraordinary amount of lipstick, leading one viewer to think, not unreasonably, that the man might have been a homosexual. The chips, Jacks, a product by Calbee, are delicio...
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Nashville Man Rallies After Disappointing Trip to Grocery Store
Geared up to stock up on wholesome foods and fulfill his New Year’s intention of caring for his body in the way that it deserves, Nate Rudowski of Nashville, Tennessee, popped into his local Kroger grocery store, only to have a disappointing food-sho...
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At The Restaurant
Phelps' 12,000 Calorie Diet Just Made Me a Fat Fuck!
Cannibals To Be Looked After Post-Brexit With Stockpiling of Human Body Parts
Government reveals no-deal Brexit plan
FDA Abandons Term "Overweight" in Favor of "Natural Weight"
Woman Admits Going to Company Lunch Only for Free Food
Nottingham's new Pond-side Take Away Opens with 99% local menu dishes!
He Has Risen: Pillsbury Doughboy, The New Messiah
Thousand pound male seeks bride; finds, but it doesn't last
McDonald's-Monsanto merger, Ronald out
Man's Facial Deformity After Inventing New Prune
Wendy's Introduces Low-Carb Cannibalism
Desperate FDA Encourages Americans to Get Comfortable in Their Bodies Just as They Are
"Times have changed, and we need to change with them," was the New Year's message offered by Food and Drug Administration Commissioner Dr. Stephen Hahn, who urged Americans to abandon unrealistic expectations about living in a trim, fit body. "We nee...
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"Surprise Meat" Latest in Healthier Animal Products Market
Recognizing that cows, chickens, pigs, and other farmed animals are flooded with stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline in the moments of anticipation prior to their brutal slaughterhouse death, making their flesh that much unhealthier for huma...
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China To Repair Ozone Layer With Steamed Minced Pork Buns
The disturbing news this week that dangerous chlorofluorocarbons (CFCs) traceable to China are directly responsible for damage to the ozone layer, has met with a swift response from the Chinese authorities - they are to repair the damage with steamed...
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Naked Sushi Girls on Western Menu
The Chinese government's ban on restaurants from serving food on the bodies of naked women has led to a flood of 'Sushi Suzies' trying to find work in the West. But initial reports indicate the culinary requirements of a different culture...
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Fat kids encouraged to do more sport
Japanese companies have begun investing heavily in the UK in people who they see as sports stars of the future - but they are not choosing the most athletic types. The Japanese name for Britain is "Shibō Orokamono no Shima", which translates as "isla...
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Man Ate Onion Chips, And Thoroughly Enjoyed Them
A man who was feeling a bit peckish, and who spied a pack of onion-flavored chips in a roadside shop, bought and ate them, and was heartily impressed with the product! The incident occurred as Moys Kenwood, 56, was travelling back from Battambang...
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The World's Most Famous Pizza Mascot Fired!
IRVING, Texas - Chuck E. Cheese's mascot, the giant, hideous-looking rodent has been shooed out the front door. After 35 years of being the official spokesrat for one of America's leading children's pizza establishments Chuck E. will join the rank...
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Bloke Whose Arse Exploded Is Out Of Danger
A man who was taken to hospital after his arse exploded has been told by medical staff that he is "lucky to be alive", but is now out of danger, and at home recovering. The man, Dave Cannon, suffered a severe attack of the phenomenon known as 'Rec...
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Nashville Man Protests Faux Pas
In his zeal to help male ducks and geese force-fed pounds of grain and fat to cause their livers to swell to up to ten times their normal size, Lawson Watts of Nashville, Tennessee, began a militant online and grassroots campaign to protest the so-ca...
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Fresh from the hunt Royal Glums celebrate Christmas wearing dead animals on their heads causing royal sycophants to show up at parties with half-eaten, left-over turkey and goose carcasses draped over their noggins
The hunt's over and done. The foxes have been skinned; the beavers stripped; the pheasants plucked. All's well with the Glum Family. Off with his head. Bring on the hats! In the Mine's Bigger Than Yours Parade, the Royal Glums stepped out on Chr...
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PETA Plans To Put Snails On The Endangered Species List - So It's Bye Bye To Escargot
NORFOLK, Virginia - Snails have been around just about as long as flies, spiders, and pill bugs, but unlike those three insects the number of snails has decreased by 37 percent in just the past three years. Insect experts state that this is due to...
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Julius Caesar gets attacked for eating sheep
After having started off with humble beginnings, the ace comedian, actor and Roman General, Julius Caesar, went on to reach dizzying heights when suddently attacked by several close friends. His friends lead by Caesar's confidant, Brutus, accused...
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Pakistanis Envy Ronald McDonald's Feet
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Homeless People Very Excited About NASA's 2 Billion Dollar Moon Rock Scooper
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Find a date today
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Economic Recipes for Nottingham Residents
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Paleo Diet Is OUT! New "Socio Diet" Sweeps Nation
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Local Women Blames Bad Date on Meal at Spicy Indian Restaurant
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Forgotten Yogurt Mourned
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English Thug Punches Bag of Crisps at Euro 2016
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Meat Industry Urges Recognition of Veganism as a Religion so that People Will Stop Taking It So Seriously
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FDA Issues Recall For Entire Turnip Crop Due To Salmonella Contamination - "Oh, no! What are we going to do now?" Said Nobody
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Ben And Bessie To Marry
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Chirac 'jokes about British food' as he gobbles down African snails with vodka at G8 summit
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My Life with Postman Pat - by Jess the Cat
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Restaurant Guide With G.G Finn: The Wedged Hat, Winchester.
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Paris Hilton Loses $200,000 In A Bad Business Deal
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Health officials warn "Toblerone in a fridge" is a lethal weapon
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Venezuelan prisoners eat pasta with shit!
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Faint of Heart Finally Find a Hobby
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Lobster Tales
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Customer Refuses To Pay Restaurant Tab Based On Personal Conviction - "I don't believe in the existence of a cook."
