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Funny story: Government reveals no-deal Brexit plan

Government reveals no-deal Brexit plan

The UK government is to deliver a leaflet to every household in the country, to help citizens prepare for the event of a no-deal Brexit. The leaflet will explain how to cope with possible food shortages, and instructs people to remain indoors in the...

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Funny story: Bloke Whose Arse Exploded Is Out Of Danger

Bloke Whose Arse Exploded Is Out Of Danger

A man who was taken to hospital after his arse exploded has been told by medical staff that he is "lucky to be alive", but is now out of danger, and at home recovering. The man, Dave Cannon, suffered a severe attack of the phenomenon known as 'Rec...

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Funny story: The Grapes Contain Wrath

The Grapes Contain Wrath

The UK is rocking as yet another national crisis strangles its people in its vice-like grip. A study has found that 1 in 5 food products contained ingredients that were not named on the packaging. Predictably, Brexiteers have quickly moved to pin...

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Funny story: Man In Potato Chips Advert Was Wearing Far Too Much Lipstick

Man In Potato Chips Advert Was Wearing Far Too Much Lipstick

A male actor in a TV advertisement for some potato chips, was wearing an extraordinary amount of lipstick, leading one viewer to think, not unreasonably, that the man might have been a homosexual. The chips, Jacks, a product by Calbee, are delicio...

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Funny story: Meat Industry Urges Recognition of Veganism as a Religion so that People Will Stop Taking It So Seriously

Meat Industry Urges Recognition of Veganism as a Religion so that People Will Stop Taking It So Seriously

Representatives of the meat, dairy and egg industries have come out in support of the controversial push by some to recognize veganism as an official religion entitled to the full protections of the First Amendment, simply so that vegans will stop ta...

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Funny story: China To Repair Ozone Layer With Steamed Minced Pork Buns

China To Repair Ozone Layer With Steamed Minced Pork Buns

The disturbing news this week that dangerous chlorofluorocarbons (CFCs) traceable to China are directly responsible for damage to the ozone layer, has met with a swift response from the Chinese authorities - they are to repair the damage with steamed...

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Funny story: Bread Was Mouldy

Bread Was Mouldy

A loaf of bread that had been stored in a bread bin and forgotten about for two weeks, had turned 'mouldy', it's been revealed. The bread, which was an 800g medium-sliced Granary loaf, had been purchased on or around Saturday, 4 May, at Tesco, and...

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Funny story: Man Is Eating More Rice Than He Used To

Man Is Eating More Rice Than He Used To

After years of thinking of rice as a bland, almost-tasteless part of a meal, one man has found that he now has a keen enthusiasm for it, and eats it at least three times in every seven-day period. Moys Kenwood, 55, once thought of rice as a sticky...

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Funny story: Tartare Sauce Had Reached Its Expiry Date 'Some Time Ago'

Tartare Sauce Had Reached Its Expiry Date 'Some Time Ago'

There are some meals that are just not the same without their sauces, and fish and chips is one of these, but when one diner went to add his tartare sauce to his fish, he found something rather unappetising waiting for him. Moys Kenwood, 55, a fis...

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Funny story: Fat kids encouraged to do more sport

Fat kids encouraged to do more sport

Japanese companies have begun investing heavily in the UK in people who they see as sports stars of the future - but they are not choosing the most athletic types. The Japanese name for Britain is "Shibō Orokamono no Shima", which translates as "isla...

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Funny story: Faint of Heart Finally Find a Hobby

Faint of Heart Finally Find a Hobby

Fed up with being warned off interesting-sounding activities like online dating, race car driving and the Peace Corps, millions of Americans identifying as “faint of heart” have finally found a new hobby: water fasting, which involves abstaining from...

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Funny story: FDA Abandons Term "Overweight" in Favor of "Natural Weight"

FDA Abandons Term "Overweight" in Favor of "Natural Weight"

With over 70 percent of Americans exceeding their ideal weight and 33 percent obese, the Food and Drug Administration has, for logistical purposes, officially abandoned its use of the term "overweight" in favor of the term "natural weight." "We wa...

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Funny story: (Former) Vegan YouTube Star Returns to Eating Eggs and Fish Due to Abnormally Low Cholesterol, Mercury and Arsenic Levels

(Former) Vegan YouTube Star Returns to Eating Eggs and Fish Due to Abnormally Low Cholesterol, Mercury and Arsenic Levels

To the immense disappointment of his vegan fans around the world, YouTube star and former plant-based advocate Leif Burke announced that, due to health concerns regarding his abnormally low cholesterol, mercury, and arsenic levels, he has again begun...

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Funny story: Man Terrified By Soft And Dreary 1980s Music And 20 Dollar Salads After Trying To Go "Organic"

Man Terrified By Soft And Dreary 1980s Music And 20 Dollar Salads After Trying To Go "Organic"

Tom Norton, 48, of La Crosse, Wisconsin, experimented with the idea of going "organic" last week, after promising himself that he would let go of Walmart-purchased pot pies, microwavable spaghetti dinners, corned beef hash, processed cheese curds, ha...

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Funny story: Man buys fish

Man buys fish

An unidentified man was seen walking into a shop this week, whereupon he bought a fish. The man, dressed in a grey hoodie top, blue jeans and dark brown leather shoes, was observed at approximately 7pm on Saturday 23rd October, entering the shop...

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Funny story: It's Christmas Crackers, Your Taste Buds Under Attack

It's Christmas Crackers, Your Taste Buds Under Attack

What is it with retailers? They seem to think that the mid-winter celebration of the birth of some bloke in Palestine gives them carte blanche to assault our taste buds with all sorts of concoctions we wouldn't think of touching at any other time of the year. You know what I mean: sherry, Bailey's Irish Cream, crème de menthe and snowballs for god's sake. Our award-winning French Food & Dri...

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Funny story: Cannibals To Be Looked After Post-Brexit With Stockpiling of Human Body Parts

Cannibals To Be Looked After Post-Brexit With Stockpiling of Human Body Parts

People who eat people will "not be forgotten about" after Brexit, sources say. Following the revelations earlier this year from Brexit minister Dominic Raaaaab that the Government is stockpiling food and medicine in case of a No Deal, it has now b...

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