Mossad Pension Fund hit for $900 million in Madoff Ponzi scam
Tel Aviv - (Sorry Ass Mess): The Israeli secret intelligence service is hopping mad after Off-the-Wall-St trader Bernard Madoff lost 95% of the Mossad's pension fund in his $50 billion hedge fund collapse. "How come we didn't see this one coming?"...
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Rees-Mogg made Brexit minister - promises to drag UK economy into 19th century
In a desperate attempt to distract attention from his failures, Prime Minister Boris Johnson has appointed top-hatted Victorian gentleman Jacob Rees-Mogg as Brexit Minister. The news comes in the same week that the government's own figures reveal…
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Building Society Near Collapse Hits Howard Hard
The near collapse of the Halifax Building Society this week has had a big effect on bespectacled employee Howard Thingy this week. The employee who was plucked from the obscurity of cashiers desk to become a singing sensation for the many tedious...
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Jobs Given Blow As Apple Chief
Apple Chief Executive Steve Jobs has been given a blow in the top position of America's most profitable company. Jobs has been given a blow before as Chief Executive of Apple between 1984-1997, when he left the company after falling out with coll...
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Bush Was Text Messaging While American Economy Crashed!
The dangers of cell phones have been rumored to be relete. Cancer of the ear, jaw and cheekmay be one of the mobile phones hazards. Car smash ups, train wrecks and soon to an airport near you, plane crashes all have been attributed or will be to the...
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Peroxide Hoarding Reported in Nation's Capitol Following Trump Victory
The small supply room at Color Me Crazy, a Northwest Washington DC salon, is bursting to capacity. Yesterday it doubled as a break room for 4 stylists but today, bottles of peroxide and noxious gas fill the space. "We haven't ordered peroxide in at...
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Government Going Out of Business
FDIC Begins "Death Watch" of US Banks, Plans to Lower Insurance to $10,000 and Give Vouchers for Hamburgers or Tacos
Man Forced To Economize After Further Salary Cut
Bad breath rates 'rise when economy is booming'
President Obama Gets Eviction Notice from China
Banks latest scam - Madoff revealed as poor OAP in Scunthorpe
IMF Explains How World Debt Crisis Is To Be Solved By "Imaginary Economics"
Christmas Crisis - Eurozone Contagion Hits Lapland
'Scream Out Of Your Window In Frustration' Event To Go Ahead
Fast Food Industry Rampant With Falsified Resumes Says Doctoral Student
Money No Longer Worth The Paper It's Printed On
Nottingham Magistrates' Sessions to be shown live at the Majestic cinema!
The Trump Economic Miracle Explained by His Followers Using One Easy Chart
Washington - Donald Trump and White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders have recently described the economic period established in February of this year under his administration as the "Trump Miracle", and his dwindling number of followers a...
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Lehman Brothers too small and sound to save, says Fed
New York, New York - Negotiations broke down between Lehman Brother representatives and that of the feds for a federal bailout when the accounting books disclosed that Lehman Bothers did not qualify under the Bush's "Too Big to Fail" economic doctrin...
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UK Inflation Set To Devastate Britain
In a blatant attempt at trying to make something out of a non-event, British newspapers today suggested that an inflation rate of 2% was an unbelievably dangerous and devastating threat.
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Bush Bailout Continues
The Bush Administration, led by Treasury Secretary Henry Paulsen and Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke, facing an incredulous Main Street America and a dumb & dumber Congress, has promulgated additional components to their most recent foray t...
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Dead cat bounce as Wall Street rallies on Bush sub-prime slop-bucket scam
Off-the-Wall-St, NY - (Ass Mess): Wall Street has reacted with a classic dead cat bounce following news of the Bush Administration-created hedge fund equivalent of a sub-prime slop bucket to absorb US banks' dodgy punts. US Treasury Secretary Hank...
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The Bush-McCain $700 billion banker bailout: One billion dollars to each of the top 700 bankers
WASHINGTON (FMLiveWire) - George Bush and John McCain revealed on Saturday that their $700 billion dollar banker bailout entails giving one billion dollars to each of the top 700 Wall Street bankers they know. "Sure one billion dollars sounds like...
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Obama catches 7 fishes; feeds the entire East Coast with an 'Economic Miracle'
Martha's Vineyard, Massachusetts -- Pres. Barack Obama made good use of day three of his summer vacation, catching seven "nice size" striped bass off the coast of this ocean island. But what happened next is being called by some "the economic mir...
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USA to change economic metric from GDP to Gross Domestic Weight
Under mounting pressure to demonstrate an economic turnaround, the United States Bureau of Labor and Statistics has decided to change the metrics being used to measure economic growth. The principal economic metric will now be the Gross Domestic Weig...
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Wake up, America. It's all just a bad dream.
New York City - The nation is sleeping through the wrong American Dream, and needs only to wake up to avoid the nightmarish problems it is facing. "If you don't think you're dreaming, examine the evidence that proves otherwise," said Kilgore Trout...
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Dark Money Theory Could Explain World Economic Crisis
Throughout the ages, great breakthroughs have often resulted from a lucky interface between unconnected fields of research. It seems that just such a coincidence may be close to explaining the current economic poo pile that we find ourselves living i...
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Gerald Ratner poised to swoop on Goldman Sachs
Canary Wharf - (Northern Crock Mess): Former trailer-trash jewelery retailer Gerald Ratner is poised to swoop on investment giants Goldman Sachs after the bank's share price nosedived. Ratner, 69, famously caused the bankruptcy of his own eponymou...
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The Golden Fleece Awards Restored For Government Waste
For many years, the late Wisconson Senator William Proxmire gave away prizes, called the Golden Fleece Awards, for excesses in government spending. Former winners included an $84,000 study to determine why people fall in love, another government fun...
Read full storyFunny Economy Headlines
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Bush Selects American Airlines to Demonstrate "Trickle Down Economics"
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Lloyds TSB Merges With HBOS, Economist Warns Customers "Withdraw Your Savings!"
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Wall Street bailout delayed in dispute over whose face should be on the One Trillion-Dollar Bill: Mr. Monopoly, Alfred E. Neuman or Bush
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Prostitutes New Campaign: "Drill Here, Drill Now, Pay Less"
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Obama inspires USA to beat recession
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Fiscal Falsehoods
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Quantum Physics used to explain American Economy
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University Challenge Takes Centre Stage In Health Cuts Row
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Congress Strikes Back: Gives Taxpayers a 4% Approval Rating
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Coronavirus On Recovery: "Over My Dead Body!"
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Obama and Clinton Clash Over Proposed Summer Gay Tax Holiday
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Hadron Collider's Inter-dimensional Financial Black Hole Blamed For Lehman Brothers Collapse And Coming Depression
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Bush Eats Lobster with African Tribal Chieftain While Wall Street Crumbles!
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Bank of England holds car boot sale
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Bush plans on financing bailout by selling Oregon, Vermont
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Iceland to repay debts by taking British prisoners
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Axa Chairman Anthony Hamilton Interview
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Fed. Decision to Create Jobs in Printing Industry Backfires, Anti-dumping Duty Likely
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Sharing Banks
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Over 12 Million New Jobs Found Locked in an Omaha Warehouse
