Funny story: Man Deliberated For Too Long

Man Deliberated For Too Long

A man who was in two minds as to whether or not he should buy a pair of Adidas trainers he had seen in the window of a charity shop, decided to "have a think" about it, and was, subsequently left disappointed when he returned to the shop later to fin...

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Funny story: Amazon To Lay Off Staff As Pre-Christmas 'Rush' Doesn't Happen

Amazon To Lay Off Staff As Pre-Christmas 'Rush' Doesn't Happen

Amazon, the online shopping retailer, has said that it is facing being forced to make staff at its distribution centers redundant, as online sales for Christmas have fallen way below expected targets. Sales of goods are 28% down on those in the fi...

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Funny story: City Centre Retail Success Story Keeps On Growing

City Centre Retail Success Story Keeps On Growing

The value of being selected as the UK City of Culture has been proven beyond all shadow of a doubt, after the news that Hull, the 2017 incumbent, has expanded its city centre retail trade exponentially, according to local gossip. Despite losing it...

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Funny story: HSBC is next for bankruptcy analysts say

HSBC is next for bankruptcy analysts say

Off-the-Wall St, NYC - (Ass Mess): Leading financial shrinks say that Asian banking giant HSBC is next for the knackers' yard after a $500 billion black hole emerged in its official accounts. "This London-based Hong Kong racket bears all the hallm...

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Funny story: Dark Money Theory Could Explain World Economic Crisis

Dark Money Theory Could Explain World Economic Crisis

Throughout the ages, great breakthroughs have often resulted from a lucky interface between unconnected fields of research. It seems that just such a coincidence may be close to explaining the current economic poo pile that we find ourselves living i...

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Funny story: Walmart Buys Lehman Brothers, Merrill Lynch and AIG

Walmart Buys Lehman Brothers, Merrill Lynch and AIG

Narrowly averting a massive meltdown, Wall Street firms Lehman Brothers and Merrill Lynch, along with insurer AIG, have all found a buyer. After weeks of intense negotiations and panic in the financial sector, and shortly after Lehman filed for bankr...

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Funny story: Barack Obama - Freddie Mac-Daddy and a Fannie Mae Ho

Barack Obama - Freddie Mac-Daddy and a Fannie Mae Ho

Sept. 2008, Center for Responsive Politics came out this week showing that Barack Obama was the 2nd largest recipient of cash from troubled financial giants Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae, who were in deep doo-doo this summer and they were facing going b...

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Funny story: Hadron Collider's Inter-dimensional Financial Black Hole Blamed For Lehman Brothers Collapse And Coming Depression

Hadron Collider's Inter-dimensional Financial Black Hole Blamed For Lehman Brothers Collapse And Coming Depression

Leading scientists and financial experts are agreeing today that the Large Hadron Collider has created a financial black hole so big that all the economies of the west will collapse into a deep depression that will make 1929's Black Tuesday look like...

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Funny story: Austerity, Greek-style

Austerity, Greek-style

Just when the Greeks thought their economy had touched the bottom, they have discovered new holes to plummet into. This is financial austerity, Greek-style, and it stinks. Greece is in a hole, a fetid hairy hole, and no amount of budget shaving ca...

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Funny story: Minister's 'little green shoots' vision is tin-foil-hat-speak for 'little green men' Treasury winces

Minister's 'little green shoots' vision is tin-foil-hat-speak for 'little green men' Treasury winces

London - (WTF? Mess): Embarrassed Treasury officials have downgraded Business Minister Baroness Shifty Vadera's confident vision of 'little green shoots' of economic recovery to a classic sighting of 'little green men'. "The woman is a nutjob," Tr...

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Funny story: Just get UK house prices down to Polish levels and then UK can compete on the world stage!

Just get UK house prices down to Polish levels and then UK can compete on the world stage!

Policy Think Tank, London: High house prices are a blight on this country. How can the UK compete in global markets if everyone needs high wages just to put a roof over their head? Just get UK house prices down to Polish levels and we can all start...

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Funny story: Lemon Brothers the new Enron

Lemon Brothers the new Enron

Off-the-Wall-Street, NYC - (Ass Mess): Four years after Lemon (sic) Brothers settled their $222.5 million Enron class action involving the underwriting of the fallen energy giant's hidden debt, inflated profits and accounting tricks, the Wall Street...

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Funny story: Obama Presses for 'Quick Jolt' to Congress; Orszag ordered to issue cattle prods

Obama Presses for 'Quick Jolt' to Congress; Orszag ordered to issue cattle prods

President Obama on Friday stepped squarely into the fractious mess known as Congress to assemble his $825 bazillion economic recovery package, seeking to quell criticism and squabbling from both parties and to retain leadership on an initiative that...

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Funny story: The Trump Economic Miracle Explained by His Followers Using One Easy Chart

The Trump Economic Miracle Explained by His Followers Using One Easy Chart

Washington - Donald Trump and White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders have recently described the economic period established in February of this year under his administration as the "Trump Miracle", and his dwindling number of followers a...

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Funny story: General Motors Admits to Cutting as Coping Mechanism

General Motors Admits to Cutting as Coping Mechanism

Automobile manufacturer, General Motors Company, headquartered in Detroit, recently admitted that, as an outlet for its mounting frustration regarding the failing economy and declining profits, the company has been engaging in the self-harming behavi...

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Funny story: Man on the Street: "Britain Still Major World Player" says PM

Man on the Street: "Britain Still Major World Player" says PM

Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, David Cameron has inisisted that his nation will remain a major world player on the world economic stage and on a military level. What do you think? Elizabeth Rayner, 23, York (IT Consultant) - "I know Shakespeare said all the world's a stage, well then Cameron is an actor." Eloise Offen, 30, Wolverhampton (Urban muti-passanger transportational device...

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Funny story: "You're more likely to get run-over than get a mortgage" admit banks

"You're more likely to get run-over than get a mortgage" admit banks

A leading high street lender has admitted you are more likely to be run over than get a mortgage approved with their bank, and only slightly less likely to die in the bath. Banks appear to be 'advertising their wares' more than ever but an insider...

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Funny story: Leaked Morgan Stanley Memo Reveals Wall Street Plans to "Throw Money All Over the Place" When Economy Recovers

Leaked Morgan Stanley Memo Reveals Wall Street Plans to "Throw Money All Over the Place" When Economy Recovers

A leaked e-mail from inside investment bank Morgan Stanley that was sent to several news organizations Thursday night shed light on some of the strategies that Wall Street's A-list have for reclaiming their place as the engineers of capitalism when t...

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Funny story: 'Grow Your Own' Embraced By Trend-Conscious Middle Classes

'Grow Your Own' Embraced By Trend-Conscious Middle Classes

In recent years, many people have chosen to devote some of their garden space to the growing of food crops. Initially, such amateur production was exclusively directed towards vegetables and fruit. Increasing numbers of hobby gardeners, however, are now experimenting with cereal crops. Since Kate Moss revealed in Hello Magazine that she grew wheat in the garden of her small London home, this...

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Funny story: Tory Tyrant Cameron Whips Backbenchers' Backsides

Tory Tyrant Cameron Whips Backbenchers' Backsides

When Loyalist leader David Cameron got a gander of the list of Tory charges on Guv accounts, he threatened to reopen the Tower of London and dust of the Iron Maiden, the infamous " dish rack" and the dreaded " easy chair". British conservatives have...

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