Corner Shop Is Now Shut
It's not the first business to suffer from the finger of fate during the Coronavirus Lockdown, and it certainly won't be the last, but a shop at the corner of two streets in one man's neighbourhood appears to have closed down at some stage recently -…
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50% off meals will reinvigorate hospitality sector - but lardy lockdown bingers fear meals will simply be half size
The government's post-Coronavirus strategy will support ailing restaurants and tackle the lockdown binging obesity crisis by providing half a meal, at full price, for fatties. ‘This government isn’t going to sit on its arse, we’ve got an appetit…
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Warren Puffit: "Dow at All-Time High by Election Day"
In a rare interview, financier Warren Puffit told Spoof On Business: "We may be in a recession, and the stock market may have fallen nearly forty percent, but it is a certainty that the Dow Industrials will hit an all-time high before election day in…
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Chinese In Bid To Buy Royal Family
[AP, Chipping Sodbury] It was revealed today that a Chinese investment consortium is attempting to buy the British Royal Family. Wun Hung Lo, acquisitions representative for the Happy Lucky Investment Company number 4 based in Long Dong province of n...
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Irish Medical Study: Combat Modeling Reveals Why Women Live Longer Than Men
(Irish Times) - Medical research focusing on the work of British mathematician, Frederick Lanchester, suggests that his theories may explain why women live longer on average than men. Said Dr. Eoin "Sweet Release" O'Death of County Mayo Clinic: "...
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Sammy Hagar Pisses Off a Lot of Real Singers
BISON SPIT, Montana – Former singer, Sammy Hagar, who is 72-going-on-92, has just made what is being considered by many to be the most idiotic, stupid remark regarding the Coronavirus pandemic yet. The Memphis Post-Haste newspaper wrote that even...
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Recent national study discovers surprising views on Bernie Sanders
Dark Money Theory Could Explain World Economic Crisis
Cartoon Mouse awarded Nobel Prize for economics as world monetary system collapses
American food and consumer goods manufacturing base unite to combat inflation by serving smaller portions and reducing packaging sizes
Smarties Candy Forecast Bitter while M&M's Outlook Sweet
Austerity, Greek-style
Printer of "Monopoly Money" goes bust
Second Life Inflationary Nightmare
Obama Announces Ways To Bailout U.S. Economy. Wasn't Aware Viagra Was In Health Bill!
Party Leaders Cooperate To Plan 'The Greatest Depression'
Germany to join Sterling Bloc
"Balls, Balls, & Pucks"
Al-Qaeda Asks for Bailout Relief
Al-Qaeda lobbyists came to Washington to ask for $5 billion in relief so the organization can survive. They recently laid off 2000 terrorists and limited the amount of terrorist activities the remaining jihadists can partake in. Maimammah Atoldmi...
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Freddy Mack And Fanny May Still Waiting For Their Check
Philadelphia PA-- Freddy Mack of South Philly is still waiting for the check in the mail. Freddy, 83, and his wife Fanny May say the government promised them lots of money. They even heard their names mentioned on the news a few times. Freddy M...
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Mossad Pension Fund hit for $900 million in Madoff Ponzi scam
Tel Aviv - (Sorry Ass Mess): The Israeli secret intelligence service is hopping mad after Off-the-Wall-St trader Bernard Madoff lost 95% of the Mossad's pension fund in his $50 billion hedge fund collapse. "How come we didn't see this one coming?"...
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Gaston selects his running mate
Washington DC - Presumptive President, Gaston, has announced to a small cadre of reporters that he has chosen his running mate. In a surprise move, the Mormon underwear-wearing cartoon character Gaston, known for his superlative qualities of hitting...
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Bush hears the case for nuking Iceland
Washington AC/DC - (Motherf***ers Gone To Iceland! Mess): UK Finance Minister Alistair Darling is in White House talks this weekend, trying to persuade President Bush about the merits of nuking Asses of Evil rogue state Iceland. "Taxpayers around...
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Madonna To Auction More Nude Pictures For Obama Stimulus
(Los Angeles-CA) Directly on the heels or insert the body part of your choice of this week's Christie's auction of a full frontal nude photograph of Madonna selling for over $37,000.00, the original Material Girl announced today at a Regent Beverly W...
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The Trump Economic Miracle Explained by His Followers Using One Easy Chart
Washington - Donald Trump and White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders have recently described the economic period established in February of this year under his administration as the "Trump Miracle", and his dwindling number of followers a...
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Wake up, America. It's all just a bad dream.
New York City - The nation is sleeping through the wrong American Dream, and needs only to wake up to avoid the nightmarish problems it is facing. "If you don't think you're dreaming, examine the evidence that proves otherwise," said Kilgore Trout...
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The Golden Fleece Awards Restored For Government Waste
For many years, the late Wisconson Senator William Proxmire gave away prizes, called the Golden Fleece Awards, for excesses in government spending. Former winners included an $84,000 study to determine why people fall in love, another government fun...
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Schwarzenegger Proposes $100 Trillion Bailout
With the $700 Billion federal bailout set, California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger is calling for a follow up. The Schwarzenegger plan calls for $100 Trillion in new spending to prop up the economy. In the first phase, $1 Trillion is to be spent...
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Las Vegas Strippers, Hookers and Mobsters Losing Money in Recession
LAS VEGAS (FMLiveWire) -- Sandy Smegaloff who spends her evenings stripping, lap-dancing and hooking at Frick's Cabaret here says she's making only a fraction of her income of a year ago. ''You don't shop, you don't buy stuff you can't afford now,...
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Potheads Real Cause Of Economic Downturn.
The true cause of the economic downturn has now become apparent during the Obama Presidencies new experiment with using the Internet to directly access the American public's opinion. When asked what needed to be down to solve the nations financial p...
Read full storyFunny Economy Headlines
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McCain Says: "Sell Your Junk On Ebay!"
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Rent-A-Pal Offers Home Delivery
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Transport Planes Arrive for America's First Born!
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Humpty Dumpty Joins British Economic Council
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Barack Obama's speech on the economy
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Ireland's 'Celtic Tiger Economy' Now in the Crapper: School Kids Told to Bring Own TP to Class!
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Congress Applauds Commemorative Humbug Fish Currency Program
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Obama Wastes Our Money On Himself
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Slacker Struggles to Pretend COVID-19 Has Negatively Affected Him
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'Scream Out Of Your Window In Frustration' Event To Go Ahead
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George W. Bush Touts His No Child Left Behind Education Reforms
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Crazy W proclaims Dollar Value Days!
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Victoria Beckham's breasts to be used as new economic indicator
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Government Going Out of Business
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Bush declares 'War on Capitalism'
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Nanotech breakthrough - Welsh economy on the brink, saved
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German Health Minister Sacked After E Coli Blunder
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Greece and Germany to Ditch the Euro this week!
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President, lawmakers, thinking outside the box on issue of raising the debt ceiling
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Democracy in Greece Horror
