Man Deliberated For Too Long
A man who was in two minds as to whether or not he should buy a pair of Adidas trainers he had seen in the window of a charity shop, decided to "have a think" about it, and was, subsequently left disappointed when he returned to the shop later to fin...
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Amazon To Lay Off Staff As Pre-Christmas 'Rush' Doesn't Happen
Amazon, the online shopping retailer, has said that it is facing being forced to make staff at its distribution centers redundant, as online sales for Christmas have fallen way below expected targets. Sales of goods are 28% down on those in the fi...
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City Centre Retail Success Story Keeps On Growing
The value of being selected as the UK City of Culture has been proven beyond all shadow of a doubt, after the news that Hull, the 2017 incumbent, has expanded its city centre retail trade exponentially, according to local gossip. Despite losing it...
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HSBC is next for bankruptcy analysts say
Off-the-Wall St, NYC - (Ass Mess): Leading financial shrinks say that Asian banking giant HSBC is next for the knackers' yard after a $500 billion black hole emerged in its official accounts. "This London-based Hong Kong racket bears all the hallm...
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Dark Money Theory Could Explain World Economic Crisis
Throughout the ages, great breakthroughs have often resulted from a lucky interface between unconnected fields of research. It seems that just such a coincidence may be close to explaining the current economic poo pile that we find ourselves living i...
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Walmart Buys Lehman Brothers, Merrill Lynch and AIG
Narrowly averting a massive meltdown, Wall Street firms Lehman Brothers and Merrill Lynch, along with insurer AIG, have all found a buyer. After weeks of intense negotiations and panic in the financial sector, and shortly after Lehman filed for bankr...
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Obama urges global 'chin-wag'
Axa Chairman Anthony Hamilton Interview
Christmas Sales Going Well, Say Experts
Swiss Role in American Jam
No value to Ice Gems
UK Out of Recession?
Greek Strike affects Wall Street
USA to change economic metric from GDP to Gross Domestic Weight
Gobshite Index Trading Set To Replace Bond Market
Another Obama Slippery Slope: Vail Forced to Shut Down Ski Resort so Michelle & Friends Can Go Tubing!
NTSB Blames Obama for Pilot Error in Crash of US Economy: Relied on Auto Pilot Instead of Hands On Control During Crisis!
Rise in cannibalism reflects harsh economy
Barack Obama - Freddie Mac-Daddy and a Fannie Mae Ho
Sept. 2008, Center for Responsive Politics came out this week showing that Barack Obama was the 2nd largest recipient of cash from troubled financial giants Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae, who were in deep doo-doo this summer and they were facing going b...
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Hadron Collider's Inter-dimensional Financial Black Hole Blamed For Lehman Brothers Collapse And Coming Depression
Leading scientists and financial experts are agreeing today that the Large Hadron Collider has created a financial black hole so big that all the economies of the west will collapse into a deep depression that will make 1929's Black Tuesday look like...
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Austerity, Greek-style
Just when the Greeks thought their economy had touched the bottom, they have discovered new holes to plummet into. This is financial austerity, Greek-style, and it stinks. Greece is in a hole, a fetid hairy hole, and no amount of budget shaving ca...
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Minister's 'little green shoots' vision is tin-foil-hat-speak for 'little green men' Treasury winces
London - (WTF? Mess): Embarrassed Treasury officials have downgraded Business Minister Baroness Shifty Vadera's confident vision of 'little green shoots' of economic recovery to a classic sighting of 'little green men'. "The woman is a nutjob," Tr...
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Just get UK house prices down to Polish levels and then UK can compete on the world stage!
Policy Think Tank, London: High house prices are a blight on this country. How can the UK compete in global markets if everyone needs high wages just to put a roof over their head? Just get UK house prices down to Polish levels and we can all start...
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Obama Presses for 'Quick Jolt' to Congress; Orszag ordered to issue cattle prods
President Obama on Friday stepped squarely into the fractious mess known as Congress to assemble his $825 bazillion economic recovery package, seeking to quell criticism and squabbling from both parties and to retain leadership on an initiative that...
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The Trump Economic Miracle Explained by His Followers Using One Easy Chart
Washington - Donald Trump and White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders have recently described the economic period established in February of this year under his administration as the "Trump Miracle", and his dwindling number of followers a...
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General Motors Admits to Cutting as Coping Mechanism
Automobile manufacturer, General Motors Company, headquartered in Detroit, recently admitted that, as an outlet for its mounting frustration regarding the failing economy and declining profits, the company has been engaging in the self-harming behavi...
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Man on the Street: "Britain Still Major World Player" says PM
Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, David Cameron has inisisted that his nation will remain a major world player on the world economic stage and on a military level. What do you think? Elizabeth Rayner, 23, York (IT Consultant) - "I know Shakespeare said all the world's a stage, well then Cameron is an actor." Eloise Offen, 30, Wolverhampton (Urban muti-passanger transportational device...
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"You're more likely to get run-over than get a mortgage" admit banks
A leading high street lender has admitted you are more likely to be run over than get a mortgage approved with their bank, and only slightly less likely to die in the bath. Banks appear to be 'advertising their wares' more than ever but an insider...
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Leaked Morgan Stanley Memo Reveals Wall Street Plans to "Throw Money All Over the Place" When Economy Recovers
A leaked e-mail from inside investment bank Morgan Stanley that was sent to several news organizations Thursday night shed light on some of the strategies that Wall Street's A-list have for reclaiming their place as the engineers of capitalism when t...
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'Grow Your Own' Embraced By Trend-Conscious Middle Classes
In recent years, many people have chosen to devote some of their garden space to the growing of food crops. Initially, such amateur production was exclusively directed towards vegetables and fruit. Increasing numbers of hobby gardeners, however, are now experimenting with cereal crops. Since Kate Moss revealed in Hello Magazine that she grew wheat in the garden of her small London home, this...
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Tory Tyrant Cameron Whips Backbenchers' Backsides
When Loyalist leader David Cameron got a gander of the list of Tory charges on Guv accounts, he threatened to reopen the Tower of London and dust of the Iron Maiden, the infamous " dish rack" and the dreaded " easy chair". British conservatives have...
Read full storyFunny Economy Headlines
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UK Banks Do the "Bailout Boogy"
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Housing Crisis in US Solved, ACORN Volunteers Move Into and Claim Foreclosed Houses As Spoils of Class Warfare!
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Obama Urges Americans To "Trust in Their Financial Institutions", Is This a Spoof?
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Credit Crunch Over!
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Britain tipped back into recession by John Terry: Claims Darling!
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Con-Dems to make savings to save the economy
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Kim Jong Ill Mastermind of Global Financial Crisis
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Washington Outlaws Money; Puts Americans on a Credit Allowance
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Obama Wastes Our Money On Himself
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Rate of Wealth Transfer to Rich People Remains Steady after Yellen Testimony
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Record Home Foreclosures in the U.S. Good for Those Already Homeless
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High Hedge Fund Millionaire Tells World: "Dude, I Made Millions and Then I got High!"
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Mossad Pension Fund hit for $900 million in Madoff Ponzi scam
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Universe Ends. Dow Jones Rises 50% On News.
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Something Fishy on Wall Street
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Government Fear Mongering Costs British Economy £30bn A Year
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Space Capsule Lands on White House Lawn
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Sharing Banks
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Quantum Physics used to explain American Economy
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Growing economic hard times have Irish little people community scared for their lives, gold
