Trump's Fourth Of July Celebrations To Be "Astronomically Expensive"
The annual fourth of July celebrations, commemorating the Declaration of Independence of the United States on July 4, 1776, have always been celebrated on its anniversary, and this year will be no different. One major difference this year, howeve...
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Amazon To Lay Off Staff As Pre-Christmas 'Rush' Doesn't Happen
Amazon, the online shopping retailer, has said that it is facing being forced to make staff at its distribution centers redundant, as online sales for Christmas have fallen way below expected targets. Sales of goods are 28% down on those in the fi...
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Mossad Pension Fund hit for $900 million in Madoff Ponzi scam
Tel Aviv - (Sorry Ass Mess): The Israeli secret intelligence service is hopping mad after Off-the-Wall-St trader Bernard Madoff lost 95% of the Mossad's pension fund in his $50 billion hedge fund collapse. "How come we didn't see this one coming?"...
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Gingrich Advocates full "prison-based economy" in order to compete with Chinese sweatshop labor
On Tuesday, at a $100,000 per plate GOP luncheon, Presidential candidate Newt Gingrich talked about the importance of lowering the cost of production in America, if we are to effectively compete with the burgeoning Chinese economy. "The Chinese fo...
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Osbourne uses example of Iggy Pop to defend cuts
George Osbourne has used the sad example of punk-rock god Iggy Pop in order to defend massive government cuts in public spending. Pop, a hugely sucessful singer/songwriter fell on hard times in the late noughties due to his irresponsible spending habits and penchant for gambling huges swathes of money on internet bumfights. 'Whilst I'm not the biggest fan of his "music" myself' Osbourne told...
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Mitt Romney launches a 'War on Bankruptcy'
New York City - Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney has declared war on what he says is the leading cause for America's ongoing fiscal crisis - bankruptcy. In fact, Romney revealed that his entire economic/fiscal policy is tied to the co...
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New Vegan Condom Available!
Astronomic UK debt
World debts so heavy that countries are sinking below the sea!
First a financial meltdown and now a nuclear meltdown, are the Japanese to blame?
The ATNIC Pandemic
Madonna To Auction More Nude Pictures For Obama Stimulus
"You're more likely to get run-over than get a mortgage" admit banks
When one Peso equals one US Dollar
Perry promises to turn U.S. into the poverty-stricken powerhouse that Texas is
Ron Johnson Admits He's a Bad Accountant
Americans, Driven Mad By Politics, Jump Like Lemmings Over The Fiscal Cliff
Growing economic hard times have Irish little people community scared for their lives, gold
The Trump Economic Miracle Explained by His Followers Using One Easy Chart
Washington - Donald Trump and White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders have recently described the economic period established in February of this year under his administration as the "Trump Miracle", and his dwindling number of followers a...
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'Grow Your Own' Embraced By Trend-Conscious Middle Classes
In recent years, many people have chosen to devote some of their garden space to the growing of food crops. Initially, such amateur production was exclusively directed towards vegetables and fruit. Increasing numbers of hobby gardeners, however, are now experimenting with cereal crops. Since Kate Moss revealed in Hello Magazine that she grew wheat in the garden of her small London home, this...
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Dark Money Theory Could Explain World Economic Crisis
Throughout the ages, great breakthroughs have often resulted from a lucky interface between unconnected fields of research. It seems that just such a coincidence may be close to explaining the current economic poo pile that we find ourselves living i...
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Stock Market Collapses
As an amazing run of poor luck continued on the Stock Market, traders were left facing 'total ruin' after high winds yesterday blew the stalls down. The 'early forecast' had been good, but squally showers mid-morning, and strong breezes coming fro...
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Britain not in recession, and never has been
George Osborne, the Human Resources manager put in charge of the economy of the UK, has admitted that due to a slight technical error (Osborne: "In the previous administration, mention that!") made by the previous administration, austerity measures w...
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Martha Stewart and Suze Orman team up to give some banking advice in these hard economic times
New York, New York After a brief commercial break, we find the cooperate homemaker and convicted felon, Martha Stewart, and the former waitress turned baby boomer financial wizard, Suze Orman, on location at Martha Stewart's ranch late at night, w...
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City Centre Retail Success Story Keeps On Growing
The value of being selected as the UK City of Culture has been proven beyond all shadow of a doubt, after the news that Hull, the 2017 incumbent, has expanded its city centre retail trade exponentially, according to local gossip. Despite losing it...
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Collection agency goes after House Speaker John Boehner
Washington, DC - China wants its money back, and it wants it now. Not surprisingly, the target of the Communist nation's demands is conservative poster boy John Boehner (R-Ohio), the Speaker of the House. Things are getting so bad, Boehner has asked the FBI for protection. His main problem: a collection agency is aggressively pursuing him to repay upwards of $1.2 trillion in debt. That figure i...
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What triggered the economic crisis? Accountants add it up
New York -- After more than five years of intense investigations and calculations, a panel of 27 accountants has discovered the direct cause of the ongoing collapse of the world's economy. Its finding: A bookkeeper for a tax accounting firm head...
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Phantom Executive Order causes confusion, controversy
Reports surfaced late today--and then were quickly squelched--that President Obama had signed "Executive Order 666" declaring that "Every person in the world is now officially a US citizen, with all the rights, privileges and entitlements which go al...
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Shoplifting Now UK's Fastest-growing Industry
There was brighter news for industry today, when it was announced that, despite poor performances in nearly all the UK's industry sectors, there was one major area of growth - shoplifting. Whilst energy, manufacturing, the services sector, financi...
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Protestors Camp Out in Newspaper Office and No One Notices
New York- Today, reporters at the city's most prestigious newspaper office kept working as usual as protestors from the Occupy Wall Street movement set up a base camp in their building. A protestor who goes by Greg stated that he and a few of his...
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IMF Explains How World Debt Crisis Is To Be Solved By "Imaginary Economics"
The institutions and regulators of the global financial system today made an unprecedented joint announcement that will change the underlying basis of the global economy. These institutions and regulators, which include the International Monetary...
Read full storyFunny Economy Headlines
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FDIC Begins "Death Watch" of US Banks, Plans to Lower Insurance to $10,000 and Give Vouchers for Hamburgers or Tacos
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Obama Economic Policy: Cook the Books, Blame Republicans!
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Polls Show Obama's Lack of Financial Experience Beats McCain's Lack of Financial Experience
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Penniless Spoof Writer Takes Job with ACORN,Regains 20% of Capital Losses!
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Reaction: JCB Employees Take Pay Cut To Save 350 Jobs
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Bacteria Attack Executives
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Debt Loop Holes
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President Obama's speech on the economy
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A Masterchev Guide to: Budget Cuts
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Time? Says US Navy-Did We Miss Something?
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Government Going Out of Business
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The Golden Fleece Awards Restored For Government Waste
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Man buys car
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Government Announces New Bank Lending Rules
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Bank Calls Obama's Home Loan Due to Real Estate Crisis: Frank and Fannie Friends Ride to Rescue..Again!
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Obama says stimulus plan is 'not working'
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Axa Chairman Anthony Hamilton Interview
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We're Out of Debt!!!
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UK offers loan of 'around £7bn Brixton pounds' to Irish Republic
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Rate of Wealth Transfer to Rich People Remains Steady after Yellen Testimony
