Sammy Hagar Pisses Off a Lot of Real Singers
BISON SPIT, Montana – Former singer, Sammy Hagar, who is 72-going-on-92, has just made what is being considered by many to be the most idiotic, stupid remark regarding the Coronavirus pandemic yet. The Memphis Post-Haste newspaper wrote that even...
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Wilbur Ross Has Lost His Marbles
The US commerce secretary, Wilbur Ross, has been speaking on television and appears, very much, to have lost his marbles. Interestingly, the top of his head looks a bit like a marble. Mr Ross, talking to Fox Business News, commented that the de...
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Slacker Struggles to Pretend COVID-19 Has Negatively Affected Him
In the midst of the financial downturn as a result of the COVID-19 epidemic, Sam Josephson of Brooklyn, New York, who admitted to being somewhat of a "slacker," has struggled to maintain the façade that the coronavirus crisis has negatively affected...
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Leaked Morgan Stanley Memo Reveals Wall Street Plans to "Throw Money All Over the Place" When Economy Recovers
A leaked e-mail from inside investment bank Morgan Stanley that was sent to several news organizations Thursday night shed light on some of the strategies that Wall Street's A-list have for reclaiming their place as the engineers of capitalism when t...
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Mossad Pension Fund hit for $900 million in Madoff Ponzi scam
Tel Aviv - (Sorry Ass Mess): The Israeli secret intelligence service is hopping mad after Off-the-Wall-St trader Bernard Madoff lost 95% of the Mossad's pension fund in his $50 billion hedge fund collapse. "How come we didn't see this one coming?"...
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Big Three Propose New Plan
The Big Three automakers, General Motors, Ford and Chrysler, disclosed their new plan for using federal dollars to save the US auto industry. Sensitive to public perception after the incident where they flew in separate private jets, the three CEOs w...
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Victoria Beckham's breasts to be used as new economic indicator
The Dept. Of Treasury To Give 2 Million To "Everyone"
Hadron Collider's Inter-dimensional Financial Black Hole Blamed For Lehman Brothers Collapse And Coming Depression
Coast to Toast
To Hell With Energy Efficiency, Let's Party! Say Bush, Cheney
Government Orders Any Businesses Showing a Profit to Stop Doing So Immediately
Obama catches 7 fishes; feeds the entire East Coast with an 'Economic Miracle'
Barack Obama - Freddie Mac-Daddy and a Fannie Mae Ho
Wake up, America. It's all just a bad dream.
Monopoly Money to become legal tender in Yorkshire
Wall Street raid is off target: cops arrest protesters instead of the perps
Stock Market Collapses
Dark Money Theory Could Explain World Economic Crisis
Throughout the ages, great breakthroughs have often resulted from a lucky interface between unconnected fields of research. It seems that just such a coincidence may be close to explaining the current economic poo pile that we find ourselves living i...
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Chinese In Bid To Buy Royal Family
[AP, Chipping Sodbury] It was revealed today that a Chinese investment consortium is attempting to buy the British Royal Family. Wun Hung Lo, acquisitions representative for the Happy Lucky Investment Company number 4 based in Long Dong province of n...
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Trump: "Only Rich People Should Be Allowed To Play Golf"
"Only rich people should be allowed to play golf," said Donald Trump, real-estate magnate, tycoon, impresario of the rich, international icon and now - of course - political contender for the presidency of our great country. More specifically, h...
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Tax compensated as price of Viagra falls
Seventeen minutes ago Barack Obama's team of advisers completed their research on Internet usage. By refocussing the cameras hidden in every lap top, they have discovered that most people's primary daily exercise is masturbation while scrutinising po...
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Bacteria Attack Executives
FORT KMOCKS, KY - UDDATE 1 - Scientists discovered bacteria that are solely attacking executives of large corporations. Strangely, these bacteria select those who have already quit their job, who worked for companies which have lead to losing bi...
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Gaston selects his running mate
Washington DC - Presumptive President, Gaston, has announced to a small cadre of reporters that he has chosen his running mate. In a surprise move, the Mormon underwear-wearing cartoon character Gaston, known for his superlative qualities of hitting...
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The Trump Economic Miracle Explained by His Followers Using One Easy Chart
Washington - Donald Trump and White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders have recently described the economic period established in February of this year under his administration as the "Trump Miracle", and his dwindling number of followers a...
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IMF Explains How World Debt Crisis Is To Be Solved By "Imaginary Economics"
The institutions and regulators of the global financial system today made an unprecedented joint announcement that will change the underlying basis of the global economy. These institutions and regulators, which include the International Monetary...
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Obama Adopts Monopoly Money as National Currency
Washington, DC - Barack Obama made history yet again today, giving a speech on Last Call with Carson Daly where he explained how money from the board game Monopoly will become the new national standard. "Gone are the days when Americans on Baltic...
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"You're more likely to get run-over than get a mortgage" admit banks
A leading high street lender has admitted you are more likely to be run over than get a mortgage approved with their bank, and only slightly less likely to die in the bath. Banks appear to be 'advertising their wares' more than ever but an insider...
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Obama, Vowing to Kick Ass, Nationalizes The Bankrupt Texas Rangers With Help from Goldman Sachs!
President Obama, batting O for Forever on the Political Scene, was moved to step into bankruptcy proceedings for the Texas Rangers, mired in bad debt caused by imprudent borrowing to sign disappointing players saying "The time to kick some ass is no...
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Las Vegas Strippers, Hookers and Mobsters Losing Money in Recession
LAS VEGAS (FMLiveWire) -- Sandy Smegaloff who spends her evenings stripping, lap-dancing and hooking at Frick's Cabaret here says she's making only a fraction of her income of a year ago. ''You don't shop, you don't buy stuff you can't afford now,...
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'Scream Out Of Your Window In Frustration' Event To Go Ahead
A worldwide event that had initially aroused opposition from various governments due to concerns about noise, has been given the all-clear, and will go ahead, as scheduled, on Saturday at 8pm, wherever you are. The 'Scream Out Of Your Window In Fr...
Read full storyFunny Economy Headlines
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Big-Time Economic Doom Coming, Says Financial Guru
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Second Life Inflationary Nightmare
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Mary, Joseph and a Child Will Appear in Bethlehem to Help Boost US Economy: Obama
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President Obama's speech on the economy
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Congress rapes Americans
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New Hampshire Receives First 'Shovel Ready Stimulus" as Truckloads of Snow Arrive From Buffalo to Open Ski Slopes!
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Party Leaders Cooperate To Plan 'The Greatest Depression'
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New Greek Threat: More Credit for Us Or No More Gyros for You
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Wall Street's IQ Plunges Below 70, Triggering A 'Too Dumb To Fall' Bailout
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10 Things You Need to Know About Donald Trump's Presidential Run
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Illegal Immigration Solution Borders on Genius
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Cash Cow WaMu runs out of MOOLAH!
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Greece to Buy BP Oil
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Isle Of Wight Goldfish Corner Sock Futures - Markets Panic
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'Grow Your Own' Embraced By Trend-Conscious Middle Classes
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Winston Churchill Arrives to Save the United States from Itself
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First Published Presidential Papers! Obama Sends out His Resume Hoping to Find 'a real job!"
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GOP's new job plan is out of this world
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Americans Anxiously Await Matt Damon's Views on Wall Street Abuses and Economy
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Bernanke's farewell: 'switch Capitalism with Carnivalism'
