Have a Chunk of Money? Get A Financial Planner. He'll Never Be Rich- but Will Make YOU Rich!

Funny story written by UncleDale

Monday, 13 June 2022

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The money tree is so 1990s.

Have you inherited money recently or have a retirement nest egg? Get a financial planner.

They are all over the place. No special degree needed, but they are basically all well-educated men and women.

They are experts at handling other people's money but, have handled their own so that, somehow, they never became rich. Being rich eluded them, but they really believe they can make you rich.

And today Belief is everything.

These are charming, persuasive people, with expensive tastes.

So, give them that $100,000 dollars, or pounds, or francs or lira, and sign a paper that they can do anything with the money; (except leave the country, of course).

In the US, your expert is always in touch with a Wall Street broker, and after the fat cat insiders have gotten their moves in-they will be notified immediately by their broker of the major financial changes in the next few days. Which in a day or two, they will relay to you?

Never worry, they are thinking of you, and your Fees, night and day

Just a caution. if they ever do make you any money, then the Government steps in. They have already taxed the money you invested, but why not tax it again? You are good for it! And it beats taxing the regular income of Billionaire buddies-who pay nothing, or 1%-2% taxes.

That is the way Congress wants it.

And so, the Billionaires are happy to donate to Congress at Election Time.

Good luck with investing.

Of course, you can read some books on investing. find your niche-utilities, oil companies, toilet paper companies, etc., and reinvest the dividend profit yourself, and make money on your own.

Utilities are very good-have a monopoly, pay a high dividend, and we can't live without electricity. And you don't need a stockbroker.

Can do Dividend Reinvestment directly with them.

Also, we can't live without toilet paper-ever think of that?

Anyway, buy no Bitcoin-suicidal- and make sure you don't go into a stock that rushes up and down like a Yo-Yo. You will lose.

The Smart Money will get out before you can, leaving you holding the bag.

Remember the Tortoise and the Hare? - slow and steady wins the race!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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