Funny story: Is Hoffman La Roche Peaking Yet?

Is Hoffman La Roche Peaking Yet?

Geneva: This afternoon, drug manufacturer Hoffman La Roche, most notably famous for bringing the wildly popular pharmaceutical Lysergic acid diethylamide to market (we all know it as LSD, windowpane, double domes, etc.), announced the formation of a...

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Funny story: Spirulina Is Soylent Green

Spirulina Is Soylent Green

Food technicians in California, working on research into health supplements, have unearthed what they say is worrying evidence that Spirulina, a cyanobacteria, or blue-green algae, previously thought to have been composed of protein, carbohydrates, f...

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Funny story: Drug Squad’s ‘Yippee’ At No-Deal Brexit Border Checks

Drug Squad’s ‘Yippee’ At No-Deal Brexit Border Checks

London, UK - The return of frisking truck drivers who cross the Irish border into Northern Ireland is being welcomed by UK drug squad interests which blame abolition of Stop N Search checkpoints for years of cheapskate, substandard EU weed. Under...

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Funny story: Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders Reunion Party Ends In Chaos And Disgrace

Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders Reunion Party Ends In Chaos And Disgrace

A reunion party organised for past members of the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders has ended in controversy, uproar, chaos and disgrace. The party, last Wednesday at Texas Stadium, started well enough, with singing and dancing on a huge stage on the fi...

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Funny story: Tory Leadership Race To Be Decided In Strictly Come Dancing Dance-off

Tory Leadership Race To Be Decided In Strictly Come Dancing Dance-off

As Boris Johnson attempts to shake off the challenges of his fellow Tory MPs, Jeremy Hunt, and Michael Gove, news has emerged from 10 Downing Street that the winner from the 'final three' will be decided by the nation in a Strictly Come Dancing dance...

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Funny story: Princess Margaret caught Aids from gangster lover/crack dealer Bindon

Princess Margaret caught Aids from gangster lover/crack dealer Bindon

London - (Sordid Cold Whore Mess): Bitter and twisted mobster's moll Princess Margaret died from complications linked to Aids and cocaine addiction after becoming contaminated by her gangster crack dealer lover John Bindon according to a TV docu-dram...

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Funny story: Stevie Nicks' Amazing Drugs Confession

Stevie Nicks' Amazing Drugs Confession

Former Fleetwood Mac star Stevie Nicks has shocked the entertainment world by confessing she has not taken drugs of any sort for 17 minutes.

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Funny story: Party animal pussy

Party animal pussy

Sydney, Austalia - (Ass Mess): Following earlier reports this week that pussy is high up on Australians' menu preferences these days a Sydney newspaper has featured a story about a cocaine-crazed pussy that survived its owners' long lost week...

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Funny story: Meeting Donny J.

Meeting Donny J.

Michael Jackson's boyhood home. Gary, Indiana. Aside from the King of Pop, this metropolis didn't offer much. It was a pit. All that was left of this once booming steel town was boarded-up buildings, a few liquor stores that resembled jails with all of the metal bars protecting the premises, a minor league baseball team with a brand new baseball park (the "Railcats") and various river boat cas...

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Funny story: Naked Scottsdale Carjacker Was Probably On Bath Salts - Scottsdale PD

Naked Scottsdale Carjacker Was Probably On Bath Salts - Scottsdale PD

Scottsdale Az: An off duty law enforcement officer with the Scottsdale Police Department today told reporters that the man taken into custody earlier today following an incident in the city was probably on drugs, most likely bath salts. In a terri...

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Funny story: VITRIOL [paid advertisement]

VITRIOL [paid advertisement]

Are you feeling left out of the action? Is the world passing you by without you being able to make any kind of difference? Are you full of discontent with the political situation in America but have neither the time nor the inclination to delve into the relevant issues to find out what's really going on? Well, fear not! The solution is at hand. VITRIOL (reg. trademark) from BS Laboratories c...

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Funny story: Royal palaces swabbed down in dawn cocaine tests swoop

Royal palaces swabbed down in dawn cocaine tests swoop

London - (Ass Mess): A Civil List hit-squad has swooped down in a dawn raid on occupied royal palaces to determine the extent of rampant cocaine abuse among recipients of cushy state handouts.

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Funny story: Princess Poole's Page: Art Misunderstood

Princess Poole's Page: Art Misunderstood

It's time to set the record straight, today's artists are not crazy, they are simply misunderstood. The public just cannot be expected to understand today's art without years of art education, drugs, hanging out with weirdos and intense therapy.

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Funny story: Crack Cocaine Worth 75p Seized In Drugs Haul

Crack Cocaine Worth 75p Seized In Drugs Haul

Police have made a drugs bust in the northern port city of Hull, and believe they may have smashed a vital cog in the distribution of narcotics in East Yorkshire. A 24-year-old man riding a decrepit, old bicycle through the Orchard Park council es...

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Funny story: Comedian Ron "Tater Salad" White Blue When Collared For Drug Possession

Comedian Ron "Tater Salad" White Blue When Collared For Drug Possession

Ron White, member of The Blue Collar Comedy Tour (with Jeff Foxworthy, Larry the Cable Guy, and Bill Engvall) was arrested in Florida for possession of drugs and drug paraphernalia. White, alias Tater Salad, is most famous for his routines "You Can'...

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Funny story: Bolton Police Drugs Raid Goes Tits-Up

Bolton Police Drugs Raid Goes Tits-Up

Police in Bolton who executed a daring dawn raid on, what they believed to be, a local drugs den, realised somewhat belatedly, that something was amiss when, instead of drugs dealers armed with guns and machetes, they encountered an...

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Funny story: BNP to legalise 'British' drugs

BNP to legalise 'British' drugs

In an improbable turn of events, I can exclusively reveal that the British Nasty Party plans to legalise 'all those recreational substances which are native to the British Isles'. Under these radical plans, some drugs currently listed as class A,...

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Funny story: Fees on Phone Bills Pay For $1.5 Billion Bill for Strippers to Contact their Dealers

Fees on Phone Bills Pay For $1.5 Billion Bill for Strippers to Contact their Dealers

A program that provides subsidized phone service to low-income strippers has nearly doubled in size in Ohio in the past year - now covering more than a million strippers. But the size of the program in the state - and profits to the increasing nu...

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Funny story: Supermarket Chain to Offer Free Drugs; Rock Stars Queue Up

Supermarket Chain to Offer Free Drugs; Rock Stars Queue Up

CAPE CORAL, Florida (Heewack News Network) -- Dozens of rock stars lined up outside the Pubix supermarket here after the chain announced that it would provide free quantities of certain drugs.

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Funny story: Doping to be allowed at Olympic Games

Doping to be allowed at Olympic Games

In response to sagging television ratings and decreased interest, the International Olympic Committee has decided to allow athletes the use of performance-enhancing drugs and has abandoned all urine and blood analysis.

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