Liverpool FC In Trouble After Five Fail Drug Tests
The row over Liverpool fielding a young and inexperienced team to face Aston Villa in the EFL Cup defeat last week gathered new momentum today, after it was revealed that five of the youngsters had failed their drug tests. The names of the players...
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US Politics - "The Masked Democrat" on TV
WASHINGTON DC - On a Tuesday morning, Iowa Democratic Party Chair, Troy Price, released a statement saying, "Our plan is to release results as soon as possible.... Our ultimate goal is to ensure that the integrity and accuracy of the presidential can...
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Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders Reunion Party Ends In Chaos And Disgrace
A reunion party organised for past members of the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders has ended in controversy, uproar, chaos and disgrace. The party, last Wednesday at Texas Stadium, started well enough, with singing and dancing on a huge stage on the fi...
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Is Hoffman La Roche Peaking Yet?
Geneva: This afternoon, drug manufacturer Hoffman La Roche, most notably famous for bringing the wildly popular pharmaceutical Lysergic acid diethylamide to market (we all know it as LSD, windowpane, double domes, etc.), announced the formation of a...
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Tory Leadership Race To Be Decided In Strictly Come Dancing Dance-off
As Boris Johnson attempts to shake off the challenges of his fellow Tory MPs, Jeremy Hunt, and Michael Gove, news has emerged from 10 Downing Street that the winner from the 'final three' will be decided by the nation in a Strictly Come Dancing dance...
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Iggle Piggle, Upsy Daisy and Makka Pakka held on drugs charge
Three children's TV characters are being held today after a drugs raid uncovered £1000's of heroin and cocaine. Officers from the In The Night Garden drugs squad recovered the drugs after a series of early morning raids carried out on the Pinky Po...
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Sperm-flavored cocaine all the rage in LA
WoW to be Class A Drug
Spirulina Is Soylent Green
Man celebrates his weird beard
Junkies target the over sixties
NFL Players Must Wear Ankle Bracelets
Bush Pardons Marijuana Convicts On Chistmas Day
Lindsay Lohan Asks If She Can Do Some of Her Rehab At Coachella
D.A.R.E. Program Revamps With New 'Reverse Psychology' Tactic
Michael Gove Says Taking 'Class A' Drugs Should Not Prevent Him From Being Prime Minister
Police Say Suspected Meth Actually Lye Soap, Charge Feisty, 126-Year-Old Southern Widow
Duracell Bunny sacked after testing positive for steroids
The DEA is on the roll
The DEA has always been at the forefront of technological advancements when it comes to fighting the drug trade. And while not every project sees the light of day, like the exploding weed joint that permanently stops a drug addict from ever smoki...
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Old Lady Who Swallowed A Fly, Was On Slippery Slope
An old woman who swallowed a horse, acknowledged, shortly before her death, that the key to her demise was actually her initial decision to swallow a fly, something that, once she had done it, could not easily be undone, and she was hooked. The fl...
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New Game Show 'Drug Deal Or No Deal" To Feature Hollywood Superstars
American TV Network NAC has announced plans to commission a new game show featuring Hollywood actors and actresses titled "Drug Deal or No Deal". The show will be hosted by Charlie Sheen, and will premiere on March 19, 2014, on NAC. The hour-lo...
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Two-Thirds of Americans Are Despondent But Only One-Third Are Clinically Depressed/Suicidal
A report published today in JAMA Internal Medicine revealed that that the emotional state of the large majority (63 percent) of Americans is general despondency, but the good news is that only slightly more than one-third (34 percent) are clinically...
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Princess Margaret caught Aids from gangster lover/crack dealer Bindon
London - (Sordid Cold Whore Mess): Bitter and twisted mobster's moll Princess Margaret died from complications linked to Aids and cocaine addiction after becoming contaminated by her gangster crack dealer lover John Bindon according to a TV docu-dram...
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Lance Armstrong Denies Being First Man On The Moon
The former cyclist Lance Armstrong has reacted angrily to allegations that he was the first man to walk on the Moon. Armstrong, now 47, won the Tour de France an unprecedented seven times in succession between 1999 and 2005, before being exposed a...
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Yes, tell me more!Seven day catch up
Check out anything you've missed with the archive:
Man Begrudgingly Went To Xmas Party, But Ended Up Being The Life And Soul Of It
An office clerk in New York who was not in the right frame of mind to enjoy himself at the firm's annual Christmas party, eventually gave in to the overwhelming pressure of his friends and went along. Ed Reeperbahn, 26, an accountant at Stronk and...
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Pentagon's Hummer Laser Gun 'targetting Mexican dope planes'
Tuscon, Arizona - (Sinsemilla Mess): The Pentagon has unveiled its latest high tech weapon against pesky Mexican dope fiends currently flooding California with psycho-grade Acapulco Gold cannabis strains. Giant Hummer-mounted laser guns capable of...
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Coke to go back to original cocaine recipe
Atlanta - Coca Cola Executives and a small army of PR people today crowded a specially hired convention centre in the heart of bustling Atlanta's business district to declare before a specially invited audience of local dignitaries and press that...
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England Star Stevens in Drugs Shock
England and Bath prop-forward Matt Stevens has been suspended from both club and country duties following his failure of a drugs test. Stevens, 26, failed a test during Bath's Heineken Cup match with Glasgow. He has admitted taking 'a prohibited s...
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Grumpy Happy as Doc Gets Dopey then Sent to Celebrity Rehab
Snow White and the seven dwarfs are back in the news after fifteen years of living in comfort and relative obscurity in their own private Hollywood Hills complex. Despite lucrative profit sharing from their last re-mastered DVD release, the troubles...
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New Sex Study Reveals Semen In the Crossfire
SAN DIEGO, California - Researchers have long known that sex can be fun, that people who have sex often tend to live longer, healthier lives, and that sexually active men have healthier sperm. What researchers did not know is that the collection o...
Read full storyFunny Drugs Headlines
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US Soldiers Freak Out in Iraq, Turn to Drugs, Grand Theft Auto
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Pfizer Sues Rush Limbaugh Over Viagra Use
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One joint and you're a psycho - MPs in denial
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Bong fires of the vanities erupt over Britain
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PMQ titters at Miliband's 'the Chancellor has lashed himself to the mast ...not for the first time perhaps!'
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Uproar in the Washington Senate.
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Pope Denounces Euthanasia
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Drug Addicts Fund A Kick-Starter Account To Free El Chapo
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Hillary Clinton Leaves Amsterdam: "I'm Ready To Come Back From The Woods"
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The Flat Earth community reaction to the fact that’s impossible a 100% flat earth
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The Flying Pensioner Phenomenon
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No drugs thanks - we're cyclists
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Fade-Face replaces Meth-Mouth as Drug Scourge
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Prince William Arrested for Smuggling £40million worth of Cocaine
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Bristol Palin's mother in law-to-be busted for five kilos of Alaskan Matanuska Thunderf**k
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Researchers report Aspirin "Miracle Aphrodisiac"
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Rush Limbaugh and Bible-Thumping Book Burner Go Way Back
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Prospector Stumbles on Massive Mexico-Arizona Smuggling Tunnel Built from TARP Funds!
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Why it's getting harder to back a winner
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Meeting Donny J.
