Funny story: Michael Gove Says Taking 'Class A' Drugs Should Not Prevent Him From Being Prime Minister

Michael Gove Says Taking 'Class A' Drugs Should Not Prevent Him From Being Prime Minister

Michael Gove, one of eleven Conservative MPs vying for the job of party leader, has said that the fact that he "took cocaine on several occasions more than 20 years ago" should not affect his bid to become Britain's prime minister. Gove, ironicall...

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Funny story: Tories Looking For New Dealer

Tories Looking For New Dealer

London, UK - (Snorting Mess): Conservatives must appoint a new Narcotic Business Secretary following the collapse of the government’s flagshit Brexit New Deal Strategy which left ministers exposed as a bunch of crack-peddling tossers in hock to Donal...

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Funny story: Crack Cocaine Worth 75p Seized In Drugs Haul

Crack Cocaine Worth 75p Seized In Drugs Haul

Police have made a drugs bust in the northern port city of Hull, and believe they may have smashed a vital cog in the distribution of narcotics in East Yorkshire. A 24-year-old man riding a decrepit, old bicycle through the Orchard Park council es...

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Funny story: Tory Leadership Race To Be Decided In Strictly Come Dancing Dance-off

Tory Leadership Race To Be Decided In Strictly Come Dancing Dance-off

As Boris Johnson attempts to shake off the challenges of his fellow Tory MPs, Jeremy Hunt, and Michael Gove, news has emerged from 10 Downing Street that the winner from the 'final three' will be decided by the nation in a Strictly Come Dancing dance...

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Funny story: Spirulina Is Soylent Green

Spirulina Is Soylent Green

Food technicians in California, working on research into health supplements, have unearthed what they say is worrying evidence that Spirulina, a cyanobacteria, or blue-green algae, previously thought to have been composed of protein, carbohydrates, f...

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Funny story: Lance Armstrong Denies Being First Man On The Moon

Lance Armstrong Denies Being First Man On The Moon

The former cyclist Lance Armstrong has reacted angrily to allegations that he was the first man to walk on the Moon. Armstrong, now 47, won the Tour de France an unprecedented seven times in succession between 1999 and 2005, before being exposed a...

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Funny story: Highly Intoxicated Resident Ponders 'The Totality of All Existence' While Simultaneously Listening To Eckhart Tolle Interviews And Watching The Ghost Channel

Highly Intoxicated Resident Ponders 'The Totality of All Existence' While Simultaneously Listening To Eckhart Tolle Interviews And Watching The Ghost Channel

Platteville, Wisconsin. Without the use of marijuana or any other form of drug, Brad Smith, 39, entered a unique and extremely bizarre 'state of mind' during which he began to ponder the 'totality of all physical and spiritual existence' last Saturd...

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Funny story: Man Begrudgingly Went To Xmas Party, But Ended Up Being The Life And Soul Of It

Man Begrudgingly Went To Xmas Party, But Ended Up Being The Life And Soul Of It

An office clerk in New York who was not in the right frame of mind to enjoy himself at the firm's annual Christmas party, eventually gave in to the overwhelming pressure of his friends and went along. Ed Reeperbahn, 26, an accountant at Stronk and...

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Funny story: Demi Lovato Conscious Again After Publicity Stunt

Demi Lovato Conscious Again After Publicity Stunt

US singer Demi Lovato, who was reported as having been taken into hospital on Tuesday, after a 'Publicity Stunt Overdose' (PSO) is said to be 'recovering well', and is expected to be fleecing fans again soon. Lovato, 25, who was on the road with h...

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Funny story: Bristol Palin's mother in law-to-be busted for five kilos of Alaskan Matanuska Thunderf**k

Bristol Palin's mother in law-to-be busted for five kilos of Alaskan Matanuska Thunderf**k

Wasilla, Alaska - (High and Dry Mess): Just days away from becoming a grandma to Governor Sarah Palin's eldest daughter's baby Wasilla resident Sherry L Johnston was busted this morning for growing 'up to five kilos' of the notorious Alaskan Matanusk...

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Funny story: The untold facts on the opioid epidemic and the opioid-reversal drug Narcan, you should know

The untold facts on the opioid epidemic and the opioid-reversal drug Narcan, you should know

Opioids are a series of medications referred to as analgesia’s developed and prescribed to treat moderate to severe pain and have recently become one of the top medications to be abused following a viscous wave of overdoses in America, an epidemic if...

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Funny story: Did Hillary Inhale?

Did Hillary Inhale?

Evidence is mounting that the tentacles of the Mexican drug cartels have infiltrated the highest echelons of the American political establishment. On May 1st, the American State Department, fresh from sponsoring a massacre of 600 odd women and ch...

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Funny story: Malaysian Woman Smuggles Heroin Under Boobs

Malaysian Woman Smuggles Heroin Under Boobs

Australia has charged a big busted Malaysian woman with attempting to smuggle heroin into Melbourne by hiding the drugs under her boobs. Officials of the Customs Department say they suspected the woman may have been carrying drugs when she arrived...

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Funny story: New Drug Will Alleviate Reptile Dysfunction

New Drug Will Alleviate Reptile Dysfunction

The pharmaceutical industry has come up with a new drug to combat the growing problem of reptile dysfunction. “Reptile dysfunction is a serious problem in America,” said Doug Waxler, CEO of Philadelphia-based Addictive Pharmaceuticals Inc. “We see...

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Funny story: New Mexican Bribery Treaty To Weed Out Crappy El Cheapo Dope

New Mexican Bribery Treaty To Weed Out Crappy El Cheapo Dope

Mexico/Texas Border, USA - A new US pact with the El Trumpino Bambino cartel has been proposed by the White House, to upgrade the quality of contraband Mexican narcotics. Under the proposed treaty - the Donald Trump Mexican Wall Act 2019 - US Fe...

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Funny story: Rio Grande River Scuba Diver Caught Trying To Smuggle 19 Pounds of Marijuana Into The U.S.

Rio Grande River Scuba Diver Caught Trying To Smuggle 19 Pounds of Marijuana Into The U.S.

EL PASO - United States Custom Agents have just arrested a New Jersey man who was wearing scuba gear and swam the Rio Grande from Juarez, Mexico to El Paso, Texas. The scuba diver identified as Hamilton F. Bumtinbone, 27, of Hackensack, New Jersey...

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Funny story: Froomes Zoom Juice

Froomes Zoom Juice

Chris Froome will be allowed to race in the Tour De France after all doping charges against him were dropped. Prosecutors said: "No one fucking watches cycling anyway so who cares?" The four time Tour winner has been under investigation for 7 m...

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Funny story: British man sentenced

British man sentenced

A British man caught smuggling cocaine into Venezuela, who admitted smuggling but said he thought he was smuggling diamonds, will today be sentenced by a Venezuelan judge. The man will be given 15 years imprisonment for cocaine smuggling, 10 year...

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Funny story: FDA Releases Suicide Pills

FDA Releases Suicide Pills

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Washington, D.C. - The FDA gave the O.K. to "Suicide Pills" today. Many anti-depressants cause suicidal thoughts and actions, especially in younger adults. The "Suicide Pills" are a new push by the Bush Ad...

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Funny story: Princess Margaret caught Aids from gangster lover/crack dealer Bindon

Princess Margaret caught Aids from gangster lover/crack dealer Bindon

London - (Sordid Cold Whore Mess): Bitter and twisted mobster's moll Princess Margaret died from complications linked to Aids and cocaine addiction after becoming contaminated by her gangster crack dealer lover John Bindon according to a TV docu-dram...

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