Dallas Cowboys Players 'Snorted Cocaine' At Halftime, Claims Fan

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Monday, 21 September 2020

image for Dallas Cowboys Players 'Snorted Cocaine' At Halftime, Claims Fan
Could it have been sugar? Salt? Flour?

The Dallas Cowboys like to do it the hard way, and they did it the hard way against Atlanta last night, after coming back from a huge first quarter deficit of 20 points, and a 29-10 halftime reverse, to steal the game away from the Falcons 'at the death'.

There may have been 'monkey business', going on, however.

A Falcons fan who was at the game claims security at the stadium was so lax, that he was able to gain access to the Cowboys' changing room, and witnessed several players - possibly as many as 20 of them - snorting an unspecified 'white powder'.

The fan said:

"It certainly wasn't washing detergent. Or chalk. And it certainly added a little something extra to their performance in the second half!"

Rumors immediately started circulating that the Dallas team had been nasally ingesting severely illegal substances that would not only bring trouble for the team from the NFL, but also jail terms for those involved.

Dallas players interviewed by reporters after the game seemed unusually animated, agitated and just a tad too frenetic. Quarterback Dak Prescott was one of several members of the offensive unit sporting a white mustache, apparently grown during the halftime break.

The Cowboys ran out winners by the odd point in 79.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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