2008 Olympics: Man With Starting Gun Fails Drug Test

Written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 21 August 2008

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There was a new drugs scandal at the Olympic Games this morning, when the official responsible for starting sprint races with the starting gun failed a drugs test.

Aun Yo Marx, who has started every sprint race thus far, tested positive for a steroid in his 'A' sample urine test, and must now wait for the result of ythe 'B' sample. If positive, all sprint races will have to be re-run.

It's a major blow for sprinters like Usain Bolt, hurdler Dayron Robles of Cuba, and Britain's Tasha Danvers, who claimed a bronze in the Women's 400m Hurdles.

They will all have to give their medals back.

The news comes close on the hooves of revelations from Hong Kong, that four horses at the Equestrian event have tested positive for cocaine, and the man who raises the white flag at the Long Jump sandpit has tested positive for Noodles.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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