It’s Quiet … Too Quiet in China
Saigon … I’m still only in … sorry, try again … Beijing, I’m still only in Beijing … It’s quiet out there on the streets of China. Not much on Twitter anymore since the protests started. The Chinese government thought a few people, a “fringe minor…
Read full storyKing Charles III, Says Buckingham Palace Will Be Renovated By Queen Consort Camilla Parker Bowles
BUCKINGHAM PALACE - (Satire News) - The BBC reports that King Charles III, has set aside. $14.9 million to renovate Buck House, which is 317 years old. BBC's Ocean Figgly personally spoke to the new monarch, who looked quite dashing in his $8,000…
Read full storyDrag vs. Clown: What Would Jesus Do?
Some people are TERRIFIED of transsexuals who dress in drag and look fabulous and go to places where children might exist – like pizza restaurants, shopping malls, or just outside in nature. Some of these drag shows even involve children themselves!…
Read full storyThe Oscars Are Fixed!
No shit! You think all those “Best Pictures” were the best? A movie about a talking pig was once nominated for Best Picture. Trends lead, otherwise would “Platoon” win Best if were made in a non-Vietnam-loving time? Anybody remember “Birdman or (The…
Read full storyHot Lesbian Sex Tape of MTG and LB Coming Soon to Porn Hub
A new hot lesbian sex tape has been unearthed, and may either be a thorn in the side of the GOP, or make them even more attractive than ever before. When Lauren Boebert was a hooker, she was propositioned by Marjorie Taylor Greene, who was still i…
Read full storyThe Mau Mau Trojan Ship Sets Sail
The Mau Mau Uprising happened from 1952 – 1960. Queen Elizabeth was in Kenya, staying at the Treetop Hotel, when news arrived of the death of her father. She became queen in Kenya. And apparently she didn’t notice a thing! Those trees are pretty high…
Read full storyAntarctica Clones for Future Fascism
For the past few years a strange construction project has been going on in the interior of Antarctica. Now, a whistleblower has escaped the frozen continent to reveal the horrifying truth! Deep beneath the pack ice, an immense cryogenic vault h…
Read full storyBrazilian Mar-A-Lago Won’t Attract Monkey Shit
Donald Trump Junior has finished construction on his father’s mansion in Brazil, near the Amazon jungle. There, daily shipments of coke, meth, some weird frog poison that makes you high, and any other drugs he can get through his family’s South Ameri…
Read full storyBetsy Ross Melania Sews Uniforms for the Future American Reich
Now that Melani is no longer a First Lady, or First anything, what does she do with all her time? Donny has given his wife a task: Design new uniforms for all American cops and members of the military. He has taken some pictures from World War…
Read full storyKing Harvey Heads Back to Tinsel Town and a Secret Billionaire Island
Harvey Weinstein will soon be released from prison, but not due to good behavior or pulling political strings, but because Hollywood wants him to produce his own life story! “I’m Just A Lonely Boy: The Harvey Weinstein Story” will depict Harvey as…
Read full storyBig Pete and His Hollywood Ho-Ho-Hos
Contracts have been signed! Hollywood eats its own! Agree to do it or you’ll never work in this town again! Pete Davidson now has to fuck and/or date for a couple weeks EVERY ACTRESS in Hollywood. A-list first, then he will move onto B and then C…
Read full storyAre Two Americas Better Than One?
Reports have been leaked from GOP headquarters that state “if and when” Donald Trump – or DeSantis or any other hate-filled hatemonger of hatred – gets into power in the VERY NEAR future, segregation will once again be returned to the “greatness” of…
Read full storyHoles for the Glory of God
Carpenters (oh, the irony!) who were working on certain parts of Canterbury Cathedral – where the Archbishop of Canterbury hangs out and keeps it real and takes donations and has widows on their knees and choir boys in his private stable – have repor…
Read full storyElvis Cloned from His Last Supper Sandwich
Elvis Presley’s final peanut butter and banana sandwich has been found and will soon be up for auction at Sotheby’s. The sandwich is in mint condition since it was, for some reason, stored in a forgotten fridge in the basement of Graceland. The sandw…
Read full storyMan dusting down his bagpipes
Maurice McSporrin has been dusting down his bagpipes and preparing himself for the one time he plays it at New Year. The bagpipe, with its slight hole in the bellows, and a chanter that doesn't always work properly has been in Maurice's family for…
Read full storyKing Charles III, Finally Addresses The Rumors That Queen Elizabeth Was Taking Medicinal Crack
BUCKINGHAM PALACE - (Satire News) - UK writer Reggie Rickenracker with The True Dat News Agency broke the story about the queen's alleged drug addiction. Rickenracker got the story from King Charles III, who told him that he does not know for cert…
Read full storySgt. Bilko Named New Secretary Of Treasury
BILLINGSGATE POST: This morning, President Biden named Sergeant Ernie Bilko to replace Janet Yellon as Secretary of Treasury. When asked why Yellon was given the hook, the President smiled while speaking out of the other side of his mouth: “I wanted…
Read full storyLondon's Wembley Stadium To Get A Huge Upgrade
LONDON - (Satire World) - The World of Soccer Magazine writer Fifi Tripoli, is proud to announce that one of the most famous stadiums in the world will be getting a huge, much-needed upgrade improvement. Wembley Stadium, which is almost as popular…
Read full storyStop Comparing me to Richard Madeley, says Alan Partridge
Norfolk's most famous DJ, Alan Partridge is said to be sick of the constant comparisons he faces to lovable TV personality Richard Madeley. 'It is a bit irritating, to say the least' said Alan. 'If it was because of the fact that we are both popul…
Read full storyA Woman With Humongous Breasts Makes Dolly Parton Look Anorexic
ROULETTE WHEEL, Nevada - (Satire News) - Alpha Beta News Agency reporter Mimosa Sabrosa says that a dental hygienist who lives in the small town of Roulette Wheel has the biggest tits on both sides of the Mississippi. The woman identified as Dayto…
Read full storyLadies - the 2023 Calendar of the Sexiest Young (Catholic) Priests is Out
There is an Art and Design article announcing the 2023 hot calendar of sexy young Catholic priests. Mainly Roman priests but also some handsome Spanish religious Poster Boys. Religious eye Candy for you devout Catholic girls and Women. It's…
Read full storyTerry's Chocolate Orange still on the shelf
Although it is less than two weeks until Christmas, Terry's Chocolate Orange Michael Gove is still on the shelf. He has not even gone for free in one of the shop's buy four for the price of three offers. 'It is not great' said Michael, forlornly.
Read full storyRussian President Putin Threatens To Totally Destroy Paris, France With His New, Powerful Y-7 Super Missile
MOSCOW, Russia - (Satire News) - The Kremlin Voice reports that an extremely furious President Vladimir Nikita Putin has vowed on his maternal grandmother's walker, that he will soon fire one of his state-of-the-art missiles at Paris, France. Acco…
Read full storyCalifornia Warns Republicans To Stay Away From The Left Coast State
SACRAMENTO, California - (Satire News) - The California State Chamber of Commerce has put out a memo warning any potential GOP members to stay the hell out of their highly liberal state. Scuttlebutt Review writer April Jiggle reports that CSCC spo…
Read full storyTilly the Traveler Visits Russia - Too Many Toasts with Vodka
Dangerous (but Safe) Senior Travel decided to send me to St. Petersburg. I learned a little Russian and took a picture with me of my Russian Grandmother. St. Petersburg is a beautiful city in West Russia near Helsinki, Finland - with lots of par…
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