Carpenters (oh, the irony!) who were working on certain parts of Canterbury Cathedral – where the Archbishop of Canterbury hangs out and keeps it real and takes donations and has widows on their knees and choir boys in his private stable – have reported that there are various holes found in more than one confessional box and even some in the archbishop’s personal bathroom.
“Oh, yes, well, those are holes for … the glory of God … uh, made by mice – we have such an infestation from time to time,” said a spokesperson for the Archbishop.
But why were there so many holes, some large, some very small?
“Well, you see, that is due to there being different sizes of … uh, mice! Yes, mice! And rats! Oooooo, big and scary rats sent by Satan himself to eat away at … uh, the confessional walls –oh, if those walls could talk!” He laughed uncomfortably and stared at me with the bloodshot eyes of a drunkard.
But a lot of them were in the wall where the choir boys had their communal shower.
“Oh, right, that, well, you see, that is due to the Old Testament code of uh … cleanliness is next to godliness … yes, that’ll do, you’ve heard of that, right? So that’s what that is.”
So these were glory holes for the godly … but they were put there by Satanic mice and rats? I had a hard time believing any of it, but when I tried to ask more question, I found the spokesperson had vanished!
Through one of the glory holes!
What wonderful Christmas magic, I thought, and went off to drill some holes in my own bathroom for the Greater Glory of Jesus and anyone else who wanted to watch.
Canterbury Cathedral,
London, England, Britain,
Europe, the Holy Roman Empire.
