MOSCOW, Russia - (Satire News) - The Kremlin Voice reports that an extremely furious President Vladimir Nikita Putin has vowed on his maternal grandmother's walker, that he will soon fire one of his state-of-the-art missiles at Paris, France.
According to the KV, Vlady is upset that the French government will no longer send Russia, wine, croissants, and French fries.
The missile is the Yarsonovich Y-7, which is 41 times more powerful than the atomic bomb that destroyed Hiroshima, and it could turn the Black Sea into a desert in .7 seconds.
Missile experts state that the Y-7 has a range of 7,937, which they reveal could easily hit Iowa and turn it into America's biggest parking lot.
