Elvis Presley’s final peanut butter and banana sandwich has been found and will soon be up for auction at Sotheby’s. The sandwich is in mint condition since it was, for some reason, stored in a forgotten fridge in the basement of Graceland. The sandwich still has Elvis’ bite marks, and scientists who studied the sandwich have reported the presence of saliva!
An historian for all things Elvis has reported, “Yes, that was the King’s final supper, if you will. He stashed it in the fridge to be preserved while he retired to the bathroom for some late-night pill popping and shitting out all the other sandwiches and cheeseburgers stuffed into his colon. The man never knew how to stop himself from gorging. Poor fat bastard.”
Before the sandwich was sent to auction, scientists took a small sample of the saliva in the hopes that they will be able to clone the King of Rock and/or Roll at some future date.
Perhaps to run on the GOP ticket in 2024? Pundits speculate, and old Elvis fans are getting out their glitter suits with the huge collars and flared pantlegs to welcome the King once he comes back to earth and makes America shit its pants again!
Slogans will read: “Elvis has entered the presidential race! Viva the Oval Office!”
