Countin’ Flowers On The Wall - Nothin’ To Do But Die Of Boredom
BILLINGSGATE POST: They have cancelled everything I like to watch on TV. But don’t tell me I’ve nothin’ to do. I don’t have nothin’ to do, asshole. It has been predicted by the World Heath Mismanagement Agency that more people will die of b...
Read full storyAmericans arm themselves as Coronavirus panic spreads
Sales of automatic weapons and assault rifles have almost trebled overnight in some states, as Americans prepare themselves for an onslaught of disease, famine, and death. Forecasters have predicted that the virus will 'only get worse' , and is...
Read full storyMeghan Markle: Svengalian Candidate To Overthrow Throne
BILLINGSGATE POST: “Meghan, Duchess of Sussex" has a nice ring to it. However, there are rumors that Meghan might be a Svengalian Candidate, planted by Russia to overthrow the Throne of England. Since her marriage to Prince Harry, the Royal Fami...
Read full storyCDC Begins Planning Sequel to COVID-19
“It’s not often we manage to capture the public's attention the way we did with COVID-19,” said Centers for Disease Control and Prevention Director Robert Redfield, M.D. “We want to capitalize on that momentum with a follow-up that really does justic...
Read full storyThe State of Massachusetts Has Just Banned The Sean Hannity Show
BOSTON – The Massachusetts state legislature has just voted 91-9 to ban showing The Sean Hannity Show throughout the entire state. The move came after Hannity made one of the most idiotic, asinine, dipshit comments of his entire 58-year life.
Read full storyPanama Plans To Shut Down The Panama Canal
PANAMA CITY – The mayor of Panama City, has just informed the media that he plans to shut down the Panama Canal. Mayor Alfredo Chorizo stressed that dozens of canal workers have expressed to him the safety concern that when a cruise ship travels t...
Read full storyThe National Alliance of Fraternal Psychiatrists Has Just Made An Amazing Announcement Regarding President Trump
KALAMAZOO, Michigan - The highly respected NAFP had their annual meeting and the group headed by Dr. Tiffania Farragut of Shreveport, Louisiana, is deeply concerned about the mental state of President Trump. Dr. Farragut, 37, stated that even befo...
Read full storyCondoms To Be Next Item On Panic-Buying Shopping Lists
After the farcical scramble to buy toilet rolls in Australia, Britain and other arse-wipe nations last week, an expert consumer analyst has now said that even stranger products are in the panic-buy pipeline. One of these is mittens, in preparation...
Read full storyThe Empress of The High Seas Cruise Line Is Offering Astonishingly Amazing Deals On Two of Their Cruises
GALVESTON - It is no secret that every cruise line company in the United States and the world is suffering due to the Coronavirus pandemic. And for that reason the Empress of The High Seas Cruise Line is making a tremendous once in a life time of...
Read full storyMcDonalds Announces That They Will Be Making Coronavirus Testing Kits Available
CHICAGO – The McDonald’s Corporation has just announced that they will be partnering with the United States government in a Coronavirus program. The company widely known as Mickey D’s will be including Coronavirus Testing Kits in each one of their...
Read full storyJennifer Aniston Agrees To Raffle Off The Bikini Swimsuit She Wore In Two of Her Films
HOLLYWOOD – Jennifer Aniston has always been one of the true darlings of Tinsel Town. Bedroom Pillow Talk’s Carolina Chipotle talked with the former "Cheers" star at the Cafe La French Fry where they both had the Escargots Au Qui Qui. Jenn conf...
Read full storyJohn Travolta Back In Hospital
Having undergone tests for the Coronavirus in hospital last week, superstar actor, John Travolta, was back under medical supervision today after suffering further 'flu-like symptoms. Travolta, 66, was initially admitted to hospital for tests last...
Read full storyFranklin Roosevelt on the Coronavirus
The White House, Washington D. C. Television viewers in the nation's capital witnessed an inexplicable interruption during President Donald Trump's address to the people on the Coronavirus last night. A mysterious power outage for only a few seconds...
Read full storyLiverpool Football Club Say They Will Fight Decision To Abandon Season In High Court
Liverpool Football Club, on the verge of their first Premier League title success for 30 years, have said they would fight, most strenuously, in the courts, any decision by the football authorities to end the season early, even taking up the matter w...
Read full storyTrump Orders Pence To Shutdown and Gather all Corona Beer to be Destroyed!
Despite reports clearly pointing out the absurdity of mistaking Corona beer with the Coronavirus, President Donald Trump has directed Mike Pence to seize all Corona beer nationwide, and incinerate it personally at his WH office. "Yes," said Pence...
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