Countin’ Flowers On The Wall - Nothin’ To Do But Die Of Boredom

Funny story written by Dr. Billingsgate

Friday, 13 March 2020

image for Countin’ Flowers On The Wall - Nothin’ To Do But Die Of Boredom
Nothin’ To Do

BILLINGSGATE POST: They have cancelled everything I like to watch on TV. But don’t tell me I’ve nothin’ to do.

I don’t have nothin’ to do, asshole.

It has been predicted by the World Heath Mismanagement Agency that more people will die of boredom than those who croak from Coronavirus. In the past 24 hours they have cancelled March Madness, the NBA and now even the Masters Golf Tourney. I have been there. I can attest that it is played outside in fresh air and sunshine. WTF is more healthy than that?

They are telling everyone to stay at home; even those who have none. Now they are closing schools. The kids will be on their own, since their parents are working. Just let Fido take care of the little brats.

Trump is declaring a National Emergency. Even the Mayans didn’t do that when they predicted the End of the F*cking World!

The Statler Brothers:

Countin’ flowers on the wall
That don't bother me at all
Playin' solitaire till dawn with a deck of fifty-one
Smokin' cigarettes and watchin' Captain Kangaroo
Now don't tell me I've nothin' to do

Slim: “Never have heard Dr. B so passionate.”

Dirty: “Yo, Dude. His shit is hot.”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more