Brilliant Writer Has Fucked Up Weekend Beginning With Loss Of Entire Novel On "Piece-Of-Shit" USB Flash Drive
Midwest. After spending 10 years carefully managing his time, avoiding high-stress professional careers, and using every single ounce of his creative energy to construct a massive science fiction novel, Minnesota resident and part-time administrativ...
Read full storyTrump University Doing Research For Coronavirus Vaccine
Help is on the way. Trump University has been resurrected and is performing research for a coronavirus vaccine, being released in October. This October Surprise vaccine will be a boom for Donald Trump’s sinking, drowning, failing, submerged, non-...
Read full storyElmer Smuckmeister Takes Knee While Proposing To Lizzie The Sheep
BILLINGSGATE POST: It didn’t have to be this way. But Elmer Smuckmeister finally gave in to his inner-self. After years of trying to court the available ladies in Beaver Crossing, he threw in the towel. Elmer got down on one knee and proposed to L...
Read full storyLatest from the CDC: COVID-19 is an STD
As mentioned in my last post, the Coronavirus Detectives Club (CDC) is now telling us that COVID-19 is an STD. Spokesperson David Shlong explained that an STD is any disease that can be contracted during sex, and STD's can basically be b...
Read full storyKimberly Guilfoyle Has Privately Said That if Donald Trump Wasn’t Married She’d be All Over Him Like Cheese on Macaroni
SAN FRANCISCO – Kimberly Guilfoyle was visiting old friends in “The Golden Gate City.” She was asked by a reporter with Telemundo about her romantic involvement with Donnie Trump Jr. She said that he hates being called Donnie because it makes...
Read full storyA White House Insider Reveals That President Trump Was Hiding in the White House Bunker Like a Scared Pussy Cat
WASHINGTON, D.C. – A White House staff member, who begged that his name not be released, said that he personally saw the most powerful leader in the world huddled in the White House bunker like a scared little kitty cat. He noted that Melania, how...
Read full storyTrump Positively Hates His New Nickname “Bunker Boy”
WASHINGTON, D.C. – An inside source at the White House kitchen has said that President Trump absolutely hates his new nickname. The source who just hired on at the White House four days ago, said that he overheard POTUS tell his press secretary Ka...
Read full storyMany Evangelicals Now Believe Trump Actually Tested Positive For The Coronavirus
OKLAHOMA CITY – A group known as the Oklahoma City Evangelical Guild just had their yearly meeting. The guild’s director-in-chief informed the news media that after taking a vote, they have decided that President Trump has not been honest with the...
Read full storyA Rapper is Severely Criticized For Using the Words Golly and Gee Whiz in a Song
DETROIT – A very popular rapper known as Zombie Zulu Yo has just been severely reprimanded by the Rap industry, for writing a song that includes the words “Golly” and Gee Whiz.” ZZY has reportedly apologized to the fans of rap music, as well as t...
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