Yale University Bans English Language
Citing a legacy of colonial oppression, Yale University announced on Friday, that use of the English language will no longer be permitted on campus, effective July 1st. Other languages will also be affected. Spanish and French are right out. Due t...
Read full storyTrump Demands Court Stop Bolton Book Because "It Has Way Too Many Pages and Big Words"
Washington - President Donald Trump tweeted, on Friday, that the U.S. Supreme Court should "stop the release of lying John Bolton's new book immediately", because he decreed that anything said to Bolton is automatically classified to the "highest deg…
Read full storyWelsh Government relaxes lockdown rules on sheep shagging
In a welcome move for farmers across Wales, the Cardiff devolved government has announced it is relaxing its Coronavirus lockdown rules on outdoor exercise. This means that the people of Wales can do what they like outdoors once again. Daffid Wigg...
Read full storyCoronavirus Experts Warn That as Many as 900 Trump Supporters at His Tulsa Campaign Rally Could Catch C-19 if They Do Not Protect Themselves
Miami – Officials with the Atlantic Coast Commission For The Control of The Coronavirus are warning that President Trump supporters attending the GOP rally in Tulsa could all be walking into a disease-infested trap. Poindexter St. Water, with the...
Read full storyA G-Spot Doctor Turns Out to Be a Quack
CLEVELAND – The iRumors News Agency is reporting that a doctor who has been practicing for 17 years has been proven to be a quack. Dr. Lancelot P. Nippaletti, had passed himself off as a gynecologist and, more specifically, a G-spot doctor for a...
Read full storyDurango Police Make An Extremely Unusual Arrest
DURANGO, Colorado – Durango’s Prospectors Bank was nearly robbed yesterday, by an individual who wore a Denver Broncos Coronavirus medical mask. Bank teller, Concordia Dewdusky, 51, told police that a tall Peruvian man with a parrot on his shoulde...
Read full storyMany People are Noticing How Much Older Ivanka Trump is Looking Lately
BEVERLY HILLS – The President's oldest daughter, Ivanka Trump, flew to Beverly Hills on Air Force One yesterday, to get a manicure and a pedicure. Several reporters remarked how old she is looking. One said that he had talked to a White House cook...
Read full storyTrumpers Will Have To Take IQ Test At Rally
Oklahoma- Donald Trump supporters planning on attending this weekend's big 'Open Up 'Merica' rally here in Tulsa, Oklahoma, will have to sign a waiver, clearing Trump of any liability if they catch the coronavirus. But they'll also have to take an IQ...
Read full storySpoof Readers Becoming Tired With The Spoof?
Figures just in have shown that interest in a satirical news website is waning at an alarming rate. TheSpoof.com, a site which allows anyone and everyone the freedom to submit half-baked and ill-thought-out nonsense without even the most basic sta...
Read full story"Astromutts" [Not a Typo] - Dogs on Next SpaceX Mission
Cape Canaveral, Florida. NASA announced today that the next SpaceX mission to the Space Station will include, as passengers, two canines who will officially be referred to as "Astromutts". The breeds have not been chosen, but NASA has ruled out St. B…
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