Trump To Hire Obama To Take Over
Hiding out in the White House basement Bunker, President Trump decided he needed some help. Everything seems to have gone wrong for him ever since his big sister stopped doing his homework. Lacking an education - studying is for losers - Trump has…
Read full storyUK defence secretary given £750 million to fortify south and east coastlines!
The UK, apart from Scotland, has been busy strengthening their eastern frontier as B-Day approaches and it leaves the EU. All WW2 concrete bunkers from Cornwall to Scotland's eastern border have been refurbished, disinfected of their urine stench,…
Read full storyJennifer Lopez Has Curled One Off
The entertainment world was in shock this evening, after it was reported that Jennifer Lopez, the Hollywood superstar, had curled one off. Lopez, 50, who has starred in some movies, and also had some hit singles, had previously been imagined to be…
Read full story‘Schindler’s List’ to be reimagined by sleazy director known for inappropriate shower scenes
Religious leaders are concerned about a ‘Schindler's List’ remake from director Billy O’Lox, known for his infamous ‘Mother Teresa - - the pole dancing years’. “I like to bring color, sparkle and a bit of razzmatazz to my films, but I’m not chea…
Read full storyObese Americans using golf carts around the house
Geoffcock Beauregarde Klump Junior III is a fat slob, and he proudly admits it. He is also one of an increasing number of Americans who use their own form of private transport to get around the house. "The way I see it," slobbered the meat-faced c…
Read full storyLady Gaga Says She is Planning on Recording Her Next Album While Totally Naked
NEW YORK CITY – The Roundabout Record Company has announced to the public that they have signed the infamous Lady Gaga to record a new album. A rep for RRC stated that the album will include songs written by Lady Gaga, as well as by Ringo Starr, R…
Read full storyJessica Simpson to Raffle off All Her Dukes of Hazzard Confederate Clothes Items to Benefit BLM
MALIBU BEACH, California – Jessica Simpson, the sexy, lascivious actress who starred in the good old boy comedy film, “The Dukes of Hazzard,” said that she has decided to take all of her Daisy Duke Confederate-inspired clothes items and raffle them o…
Read full storyA DNA Professor States That Kayleigh McEnany Could Actually Be Trump’s Third Daughter
CARPINTERIA, California – Dr. Seraphina P. Acushnet, who is a DNA professor at Left Coast College, said that she may have proof that White House press secretary Kayleigh McEnany may, in fact, be President Trump’s third daughter. The professor said…
Read full storyFans of the Washington Redskins Have Been Asked To Submit Some Suggestions for the Team’s New Nickname
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Now that Daniel Snyder, owner of the soon-not-to-be Redskins, has finally gotten with the program to change the racist team name, lots of people are chiming in with ideas. One long-time fan suggested the name the Washington Wash…
Read full storyThe Legendary Pele Asks Chicharito to Join the Board of Directors of The Sao Paulo Red Grasshoppers
SANTA MONICA BEACH, California – One of the greatest soccer players of all time, Pele, flew to California and met with another great soccer player, Javier Hernandez Balcazar, better known as Chicharito. They had macaroni enchiladas and several pit…
Read full storyThe Washington Redskins Name Has Finally Been Scalped
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Washington team owner Daniel Snyder may be a lot of things, but a dummy is not one of them. The multi-billionaire knows that, when big-time corporate sponsors like Pepsi, Nike, Bank of America, Red Lobster, the FBI, and FedEx, s…
Read full storyWashington Redskins New Name Suggestions Pour In
After confirmation, on Monday, that the Washington Redskins were to, finally, ditch their name, there was a rush amongst fans to suggest a new one. Redskins owner, Dan Snyder, who had originally said that he would "never" change the name, or his m…
Read full storyWashington Under Pressure To Drop The Name 'Washington'
As the tidal wave of race equality surges on, gathering pace and momentum, it's been revealed that very name of the capital, itself, is in the sights of the Black Lives Matter movement, and, some might say, with good cause. Washington, DC, was nam…
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